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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

548 replies

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:01

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
CallieG · 06/03/2023 04:17

Tell him to get one of his footy mates to pick him up in future & if he spoke to me like that he’d be walking for the foreseeable future, dont let him get away with disrespecting you like that.
he’s a petulant child.

TheAustralian · 06/03/2023 04:30

Your only bitch is that he wants you to get the children up at sparrow fart so he can have Maccas 🤦‍♀️

UmmMaryam2019 · 06/03/2023 04:30

You can have the breakfast delivered to you. Ubereats!

isthismylifenow · 06/03/2023 04:59

Hope you managed to get some sleep fairly undisturbed.

He sounds awful, but apart from how he speaks to you, what jumped out at me was the expectations he has of others. Because you said no to taking him, he then involved his sister, to not only do a ridiculous trip in the morning, but also expecting her to collect him once again after. You said he is a high earner so surely can afford a taxi both ways. Why put yet another person out expecting lifts and drops off and collections like a child.

If it was once in a while fine. But from what you said about often giving him lifts, it seems it's just expected now. I get the feeling he thinks of himself as the most important.

Barbecuebeans · 06/03/2023 05:25

Aiimeee · 05/03/2023 09:27

@ReneBumsWombats what was weird about saying I'd do it, but our relationship is good and I understand everyone's is different?

Would you say to someone who'd lost a child, oh well we've still got three children so we're not in your situation? Or someone who was racially abused, oh well, we're white so we don't see any issue with racism?

The problem with what you've said is that your good relationship with your DH is utterly irrelevant to the OP and sounds like you're just rubbing it in. The OP sounds like a nice person otherwise she would have left this horrible man a long time ago, so I'm sure she would have given a lift to a lovely, respectful man who would've done the same for her. But as she points out, her actual DH wouldn't do the same for her. People who call the person they're supposed to love cunts tend not to be very caring in other ways.

I don't know how this is not obvious to you, maybe you lack empathy, which is putting yourself in the other person's shoes, not just coming from your own situation.

Ivebeenframed · 06/03/2023 06:36

SchoolCountdown

Uber or deliveroo McDonald’s breakfast to the house for breakfast before leaving.

That's exactly what I was thinking, or preorder on the app to cut out the wait time.

CowboyHat · 06/03/2023 06:49

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:09

The c word isn't unusual unfortunately...I'm not that shocked he said it. Although obviously it's horrible.

That’s really awful OP. It might have become normal for you and therefore not shocking, but it’s really unacceptable. Why do you stay with this man?

Axahooxa · 06/03/2023 06:54

Thinking of you @reddwarfgeek and hope you’re ok.

Doone21 · 06/03/2023 07:02

So you are happy to get the whole house up early on every Saturday for your precious darling but you begrudge your husband one early Sunday? I don't understand why all the other posters think that's too early for a 5year old because from what I remember they're always up at some godawful time. And while I would also be annoyed at being called names I think everyone's reaction is a bit OTT. Like they've never had an argument and been horrible or sworn before? Yeah that's likely. I'd be so thrilled at getting a day to myself with my child I'd be helping them leave early.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 06/03/2023 07:12

I hope you got some sleep OP and are OK.

You and your DD deserve a better life than this - I hope you find the strength to get one

frozenyoghurtyurt · 06/03/2023 07:13

Doone21 · 06/03/2023 07:02

So you are happy to get the whole house up early on every Saturday for your precious darling but you begrudge your husband one early Sunday? I don't understand why all the other posters think that's too early for a 5year old because from what I remember they're always up at some godawful time. And while I would also be annoyed at being called names I think everyone's reaction is a bit OTT. Like they've never had an argument and been horrible or sworn before? Yeah that's likely. I'd be so thrilled at getting a day to myself with my child I'd be helping them leave early.

Gosh what an interesting perspective. You are a genius.

QuitsAmidCrisis · 06/03/2023 07:24

Doone21 · 06/03/2023 07:02

So you are happy to get the whole house up early on every Saturday for your precious darling but you begrudge your husband one early Sunday? I don't understand why all the other posters think that's too early for a 5year old because from what I remember they're always up at some godawful time. And while I would also be annoyed at being called names I think everyone's reaction is a bit OTT. Like they've never had an argument and been horrible or sworn before? Yeah that's likely. I'd be so thrilled at getting a day to myself with my child I'd be helping them leave early.

I am embarrassed for you for this post and sad for you because of your low standards as to what you expect from a partner.

QuitsAmidCrisis · 06/03/2023 07:28

reddwarfgeek · 05/03/2023 22:25

@JJWT I wish his sister had taken him back to theirs tonight. But she wouldn't think to do this. His family don't know a lot of this. She's a lovely woman but we aren't close, I can't confide in her as she tells MIL everything and MIL has form for being very difficult.

Thanks everyone. I'll ride the night out and will get through it.

OP I may be stating the obvious here but this situation is not normal or acceptable. Even if your husband and his friends behave like this, it is not what you should have to expect or accept.

Decent men do not aggressively inconvenience their partners and kids to satisfy their hobbies and eating or drinking needs. They don’t stay out drinking all day without telling their partner and mother of their child when they will return. They don’t give out nasty insults because they can’t have a McD.

He is just horrid and I hope you can have a proper talk when he is sober. Ugh.

CameltoeParkerBowles · 06/03/2023 07:28

MrsMitford3 · 04/03/2023 21:51

I hope he's a Bournemouth fan

😂😆😂

Shakirasma · 06/03/2023 07:55

He sounds a lot my EXH. Totally abusive bastard and a drunken twat, but never physical abuse so it took me a while to realise.

I left him when our DD was young because I realised she was seeing all this, soaking up the example we were setting of what a relationship looks like, and I didnt want her thinking it was normal and settling for the same.

Best thing I ever did!

Ineke · 06/03/2023 08:04

Is your five year old in earshot when he talks to you this way, has she seen him when he is drunk and narly. Is she aware of how little he respects you. Does she act protectively towards you. They are so impressionable and take on so much on their young shoulders. This setting for her could affect her later in life. Think about the relationship you are in and if you are truly happy with it and whether or not you can get it to improve for you and your child.

Ineke · 06/03/2023 08:14

Also, you say the reason he wants to go to Mac D’s is that he won’t have another chance to eat any thing during the day. Ahh diddums .Make him a pack lunch and put it in a child’s lunch box to go with his childish behaviour.

SeulementUneFois · 06/03/2023 08:35

Are you ok OP. Hope you had enough sleep at least.

Innachu · 06/03/2023 09:11

Hope last night was alright OP

MarvellousMonsters · 06/03/2023 09:14

ghostyslovesheets · 04/03/2023 21:03

he said I'm a moaning cunt for that alone he'd be getting a sodding Uber in the moring

And his things packed and on the front garden when he got home.

MeridianB · 06/03/2023 09:20

Hope you’re OK, OP

Please leave this abusive, drunken excuse for man.

He may not be hurting you physically, but the damage he’s doing verbally and emotionally is terrible. Women’s Aid will be experienced in dealing with this. 💐

mustgetoffmn · 06/03/2023 09:32

What a big baby! I'd get rid of him for calling you the m.c. for a start. Seriously abusive. Remind him that you're not his mummy and that he can make sandwiches to take onto the train. Much more substantial when the compulsory (!) drinking takes place. twat

mustgetoffmn · 06/03/2023 09:37

Doone21 · 06/03/2023 07:02

So you are happy to get the whole house up early on every Saturday for your precious darling but you begrudge your husband one early Sunday? I don't understand why all the other posters think that's too early for a 5year old because from what I remember they're always up at some godawful time. And while I would also be annoyed at being called names I think everyone's reaction is a bit OTT. Like they've never had an argument and been horrible or sworn before? Yeah that's likely. I'd be so thrilled at getting a day to myself with my child I'd be helping them leave early.

The word cunt isn't just any old swear word its vicious and abusive especially used by a bloke against their wife. Are you male? You sound like you are

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 06/03/2023 09:47

@reddwarfgeek , how did the rest of the weekend go? Are you ok? It all sounds abusive and unpleasant.

mustgetoffmn · 06/03/2023 09:48

QuitsAmidCrisis · 06/03/2023 07:24

I am embarrassed for you for this post and sad for you because of your low standards as to what you expect from a partner.

Show quote history

yes agree with QuitsAmidCrisis you must have had a hard time to expect so little from your closest relationships