Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

[reddwarfgeek]

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

...the minute he called me a cunt, regionally acceptable or not, it would be over.

Sorry what now? Where is the c-word 'regionally acceptable'...??

I'm not dragging my 5 year old out of bed at half past six in the morning so that my arsehole of a husband can eat a fucking breakfast burger. You can buy that shit in Aldi and cook it in the house before he schleps his arse to the football.

Be in bed ‘asleep’ when he gets back. Refuse to engage if he tries to start anything. You start to plan you new live in the morning. Good luck.

Offs! Your new life!

The c word is the most vile horrible word and a husband should never ever call his wife that. The fact is, he is abusive.

Yeah, I’d LTB as soon as he called me a cunt, tbh.

Take him to McDonalds, drop him off, then pack up and leave

Will you be safe when he gets home?

“Physically, yes”…?! You do realise OP that being psychologically and emotionally unsafe is literally just as dangerous for your long term wellbeing? As in there have been criminal laws against it specifically since 2015?? If you have normalised the use of that language against you BY YOUR OWN HUSBAND, and WITH A 5 YEAR OLD IN THE HOUSEHOLD(?!!) you are already a very ingrained domestic abuse victim and need to wake up and get out of this situation for the sake of your own mental health and so as not to damage your child by exposing them to that toxicity. Do you really want them growing up thinking that behaviour is acceptable, and ‘just how men talk to women’, thus end up at the hands of the same type of abuser??! You clearly have much bigger problems than a detour to MacDonald’s, which by the way the asshat can take himself to in the cab he’ll be getting enroute to the train station. Get help, and soon.

Could he stay with his sister?

I'm worried he will kick off tonight, have been on the booze all day and I'm worried about you.

Please start planning your exit strategy.

He's a pig and you deserve much better.

Hi there! There are too many replies for me to have read them all I’m afraid. I do think he should not have called you a cunt just because you wouldn’t take him to McDonald’s. He’s acting like a teenager with behavioural issues there!

I’d take my partner to McDonald’s but he’s a lovely man who’d never call me a cunt plus I’d want a McDonald’s myself. It’s definitely not a reasonable expectation of his though. I think he’s very immature to kick off over that; you were already doing him a favour by giving him a lift. He’s treating you like a facilitator rather than a partner.

He’s a grown man who can sort his own sandwiches out! If it were me, I’d pack extra sandwiches and get an Uber anyway as I wouldn’t want to treat my partner like a taxi service. I’m sorry he’s so mean.

he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach

Christ.

I'd say he can get himself to the station himself. If he's lucky you'll still be there when he gets home.

I wouldn't be.

Is this normal for him, or out of character?

I’d thought you were being a teeny bit unreasonable until I saw the “moaning cnt” line. Me and my partner partake in a decent amount of lighthearted, banterous cnt calling ourselves but never maliciously, and that sounded malicious.

also if he’s so bothered about being filled up and energised for the day, a McDonald’s breakfast is possibly the shittest choice. I’m hungry in about 40 minutes after one of those.

Is he a Man U supporter?

To be honest it wouldn't bother me. Just go to the drive through and he can eat en route. You don't need to stop in then. If you're late and he misses the train that's his problem. I'd be glad of a day to spend with DD, do something fun with her and watch a movie in the afternoon so you can have a cheeky nap and then in a couple of weeks organise a day trip with some friends and take some time for yourself. Maybe a nice spa day!

I know this isnt the point of the thread but I wonder if he has consider having a Macdonald Breakfast delivered to the house before you set off, around my way they deliver from 7am (may not be the case for all areas though)

I hope so!

www.mcdonalds.com/gb/en-gb/latest/mcdelivery.html

Even if he could, he wouldn't want to. The point is to get women to prove their devotion and sacrifice by driving him around everywhere at any time, even if it means forcing the kids out of bed at silly o'clock too, on pain of being verbally abused.

I replied YABU but only because you'd even consider giving him a lift for his day out.

He's a selfish cnut

Totally agree with this

He could get up early and eat before he goes.

My ex calling me a cunt was the very start of my problems and looking back was the moment I should have kicked the arsehole out. The language he used towards me got worse and worse and progressed into physical violence, stalking and gaslighting. Please look at your options and make sure you make a record of everything. Please take care and I hope he passes out on the sofa when he gets home.

After escaping a very abusive ex partner who used to call me this frequently during times when I said I couldnt do something for him, anyone I was now in a relationship with who called me this wouldn't just be getting an uber to the station, they'd be getting an uber to a new address with all their belongings. This is not how normal people speak to a partner because they don't get their own way. It's verbal and emotional abuse. I also hope he doesn't say this in front of your DD.

Disgusting word for anybody to use, let alone direct it to your wife. I would expect a full apology and refuse to give him a lift, let alone via McDonalds.

This makes me so sad to read. I was you once OP. Its such an awful situation to be in. You can find the strength, it is hard and I'll be honest, right now it feels easier to stay but if you are able to find someone to confide in and start to build a plan to leave life is so much brighter on the other side. If you have no close friends, book an appointment with your gp and talk to them. That is what i did (on the pretext to my ex i was seeing them to get help for being mentally unstable as he had suggested i was) Whilst it's not a medical issue, they can and will signpost you to people who can help and its confidential. Please find someone to confide in. It will destroy you and your DD staying in that environment (my DC and I are still having counselling for the lasting effects 5 years on)