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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

548 replies

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:01

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

OP posts:

Mix56 · 05/03/2023 18:01

There are vending machines, there may be a coffee trolley , there will definitely be snack/coffe/restos at his arrival station.
say get a Uber. & to think carefully before he insults you again.

MumOfOneAwesomeHuman · 05/03/2023 18:05

If any man called me a c**t or ate Mac Donald’s for breakfast I’d kick them to the kerb! You and your kid deserve more.

Zonder · 05/03/2023 18:10

Is he home? I hope he didn't expect you to collect him from the station.

Original poster

reddwarfgeek · 05/03/2023 18:14

I've been reading the replies, thanks. Most of you are spot on. No he'll be about another 3 hours. His sister is picking him up from the station ...rather her than me (but I feel for her).

OP posts:

Andi2020 · 05/03/2023 18:15

I hope if its the Liverpool Man Utd game he a united fan wipe the smile off him with that result.
I'd just live my life like he wasn't in the house not wanting food in the house what a child or teenager.
Hope you and your child are OK

cocoatheclone · 05/03/2023 18:17

He is a child!

What's wrong with making a bacon sandwich at home for the train?

And why can't he get a cab to the station

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2023 18:18

Andi2020 · 05/03/2023 18:15

Unfortunately abusive men become more abusive after a loss at football. Well, even more because they also become more abusive when they win.

It's really depressing.

Lisa46 · 05/03/2023 18:20

I think you need to be careful about the example you are setting for your daughter - she will be learning it’s ok for men to treat women this way. You are setting her standards for the future. Don’t take it - imagine how you’ll feel wwhen her partners treat her that way!

AuntMarch · 05/03/2023 18:24

I watch football, and it is easy to find yourself at kick off without having eaten on away days as you get caught up in rounds and bumping into people etc... but none of that is your problem.

I also swear like a, well, football fan I guess.

Despite having those things in common with your DH (D stands for dickhead), I wouldn't let someone back in the house if they spoke to me like that.

Please think about what your daughter is learning about how to treat people/ how she can expect to be treated.

bonzaitree · 05/03/2023 18:25

Calling you a cunt is never ok.

Why are you staying with him OP? Could you afford to live without him?

Grammarnut · 05/03/2023 18:26

Headabovetheparakeet · 04/03/2023 21:08

It concerns me that him calling you a cunt isn't the part that bothers you the most.

If he calls you a cunt he can get an Uber - and buy breakfast on the train.

MMUmum · 05/03/2023 18:28

You are not making him drink on an empty stomach, he's doing this to himself🙄 he thinks he's one of your Dc who needs his hobby facilitated

Milly2022 · 05/03/2023 18:30

He wouldn't be getting a lift, let alone not getting a maccies. Self centred turd.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 05/03/2023 18:36

bonzaitree · 05/03/2023 18:36

I wouldn’t mind giving my OH a short lift. I gave m’y OH a lift to the stadium today. It’s about 10/15 mins away.

but, crucially, he didn’t call me a cunt and helped clean the flat before he left. He is bringing me home some chicken and G and T now.

THATS the difference!

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 05/03/2023 18:42

Well I hope he's a Man U fan😂

HeadacheEarthquake · 05/03/2023 18:42

To be honest, I'd give him the lift, but if he wanted to piss about getting macdonalds etc and drink all day and blame me for his empty stomach he'd be getting a cab.

Macdonalds deliver, he should know that if he's so desperate for one.

He can get a burger at the game or Macdonalds at the city he's visiting.

I don't have kids but I too only have one lie in a week, and my husband doesn't drink, but in your shoes he'd be taking himself there and the minute he called me a cunt, regionally acceptable or not, it would be over.

Vinomummyinlockdown · 05/03/2023 18:44

salamanderturtle · 04/03/2023 21:13

I wouldn’t be doing anything for anyone that called me a cunt.

This.

Blanketpolicy · 05/03/2023 18:45

Hope you are ok and safe op.

Think about that for a minute. There are strangers on an internet forum more concerned for you and your dds wellbeing than the person who is supposed to be the one that cares for you and is there for you.

You sound quite young (not teen young, but if you have single friends living with parents, maybe in your mid/late 20s?). Life is short, the decades pass quickly, it will be hard making a change, but don't waste the best years of your and your dds life with a wanker.

LadyHarrietVane · 05/03/2023 18:47

Your child is already learning that this is the way women should be spoken to. I'm not suggesting you should LTB but I'd be having a very serious conversation about the language and attitudes in the home.

fashionqueen1183 · 05/03/2023 18:47

If hes not back for 3 hours, and his sister is collecting him Id be packing him a bag of basics, and leaving it on the front step and he can go stay with her. It really worries me you are living with someone who is abusing you and you have a 5 year old child. Are you safe? This is what she will think is ok. Unless you do something unfortunately - as he clearly isnt going to.

fashionqueen1183 · 05/03/2023 18:50

Also OP - there are many types of abuse. And womens aid can help with many. Just because someone hasnt been violent doesnt excuse their behaviour and doesn't mean they wont be able to help. Please give them a call. You are worthy of support!

Grrrrdarling · 05/03/2023 19:04

ghostyslovesheets · 04/03/2023 21:03

he said I'm a moaning cunt for that alone he'd be getting a sodding Uber in the moring

Totally agree. I wouldn’t even take him to the train station if he felt it appropriate to call me that word!

Mumofteens4892 · 05/03/2023 19:14

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:09

The c word isn't unusual unfortunately...I'm not that shocked he said it. Although obviously it's horrible.

Time to put in some boundaries about how you want to be treated. You are worth far more than that. You are tolerating some serious disrespect here.

Frances0911 · 05/03/2023 19:14

Surely a couple of slices of toast and a large bowl of cereal is suffice, or he could make sandwiches, crisps etc, to eat on the train.

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