Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

548 replies

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:01

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
HarrietPierce · 05/03/2023 10:35

Aiimeee
"That's not a criticism, thats me understanding that everyone's relationships are different"
It's abusive not "different".

billy1966 · 05/03/2023 10:37

Oh OP, such a sad thread.

You sound lovely but you and your child are absolutely in an abusive environment.

Is this the life you want for your little girl?

Because her father being utter and complete scum means it's likely that she too will gravitate towants scum too.

You only have one child, so getting away is doable.

Ring Women's aid please.

Look at your options.

A studio flat would be enough.

Anything will be better, no matter how small that her witnessing and being around the dregs like him.

If he is even slightly aggressive tonight, ring the police.

Your child is being so affected by this environment even if she never says a word.

Her world is not safe and she may not have the words to express that, but she feels it and knows it.

Start planning and reaching out for help.

diddl · 05/03/2023 10:38

Imagine being so desperate for a McDonald's breakfast that you insult your partner about it & then call your sister.

Hope you have a nice day today & manage to get away Op.

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 10:41

Imagine being so desperate for a McDonald's breakfast that you insult your partner about it & then call your sister.

I don't think he wants the breakfast, I think he wants his female relatives to scramble on demand to show that they prioritise him over themselves, and their kids, at all times.

Nixer · 05/03/2023 10:42

Women's Aid isn't just for women in physical danger. He's emotionally abusive and sounds like he might be an alcoholic too. It may be worth contacting Al-Anon as well as WA.

I think you should talk about it with some of your friends - just because you think they cannot put you and your daughter up they may want to or be able to help in other ways.

BordoisAgain · 05/03/2023 10:45

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 10:41

Imagine being so desperate for a McDonald's breakfast that you insult your partner about it & then call your sister.

I don't think he wants the breakfast, I think he wants his female relatives to scramble on demand to show that they prioritise him over themselves, and their kids, at all times.

I think you're right, otherwise he would have got up a bit earlier to go and get his own breakfast and maybe even bring some back for the OP and child.

GordonsAFGirl · 05/03/2023 10:48

@ReneBumsWombats mushroom stroganoff, poisoned dinner!

I think the OP has easier options without resulting to the above. My city husband stays well clear of my families' country ways.

tara66 · 05/03/2023 11:44

reddwarfgeek · 05/03/2023 09:17

Morning! This thread has gained quite some momentum which I didn't expect. Thanks for all the replies. Well he asked his sister (no kids) to take him and she did. He wasn't happy with me though and loads of sarcastic comments this morning.
I'm glad I didn't have to do the lift. I did sleep ok but didn't get a lie in as he was up early banging things about.
He took loads of booze for the train...I thought they were trying to cut down on this kind of thing?...and I dread to think what state he'll come home in.
But for today me and DD are ok and having a relaxing day.

@Goodread1 That's very comprehensive and thank you for the help.
The relationship is pretty controlling and not great. I just wish I had someone to talk to and somewhere to get out of the way with DD...like tonight would be helpful. ..but I don't.
Even had a couple of PMs...thank you...saying would my parents really turn me away if I told them this stuff? The answer is unfortunately yes. My father is a grumpy old sod who who would rather we be miserable and living with this than disturb his peace and quiet.
My friends are either single, living with parents and childfree, or have plenty of kids and relationship problems themselves.
I would give women's aid a call but have put it off as I'm in no physical danger. I will see if I can get through though.
Thanks to everyone who has take time out of their day to reply. I truly appreciate it Flowers

You say ''He took loads of booze for the train'' - so he is drinking alone on a public train early in the morning? Is that allowed? I think ''15 cans'' have been mentioned? Might he be sick on said public train? Is he an alcoholic? Is he not meeting up with friends to drink in pub perhaps - seems not? Are all the cans for him alone? Just curious!

NewCarOldCar · 05/03/2023 12:50

I forgot I was on MN and you weren't allowed to make any reference to your own relationship being ok because everyone on MN hates men

🙄snarky much

If @reddwarfgeek had said what her issue was and then asked "So what is your relationship like?" then yours and others comments would have been useful.

She didn't ask.

But that hasnt stopped you and countless others giving the unwanted information about your own great/ wonderful/ breaky in bed from "hubs" relationships and that they would do it because blah blah blah.

He called her a "moany cunt" for not skipping about with a twinkle in her eye at the thought of getting up early on a Sunday to accommodate his childfree day.

Shoppin · 05/03/2023 13:01

Some people have said they'd do it, and their relationships are good, mutual respect etc.

Some people have said they wouldn't do it.

Totally assuming that the people who said they would do it don't have the type of relationship that their DH would call them a cunt.

Surely these are all valid opinions no?

ReneBumsWombats · 05/03/2023 13:09

I don't think anyone has said that anyone isn't entitled to have an opinion. I wish people wouldn't see dissent from their opinion as a denial of their right to hold it.

Some relationships on here are so shit that I can't be sure there aren't women who would do this while being called cunts all the time. OP had to ask.

Emotionalsupportviper · 05/03/2023 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

The handmaids have entered the building . . . 🙄

Tessabelle74 · 05/03/2023 17:28

If take my husband because we'd ALL be going out for the day! He'd most definitely not be going out on the lash and calling me names to boot!

Tessabelle74 · 05/03/2023 17:29

Emotionalsupportviper · 05/03/2023 15:42

The handmaids have entered the building . . . 🙄

Show quote history

I actually think this is a man, maybe even the OP's husband!

EmmaB1982 · 05/03/2023 17:30

Is Mcds even open that early on a Sunday? I'd tell him to jog on personallly.

concertgoer · 05/03/2023 17:36

Tell him to drive and not drink !!

helpplease01 · 05/03/2023 17:38

DUMP HIM!

Diddlyumptious · 05/03/2023 17:41

I think you should think about him being out of your life, that language alone isn't good for you or the DD and yiu sound scared.

Sennelier1 · 05/03/2023 17:42

Make him a packet brunch/lunch and drop him off at the station in time for the train. No way I would drag my young child to Mc Do's in the early morning because dad needs to lay a foundation for a drinking-day. And I wouldn't accept the disrespect your DP shows you. Does he use the c-word in front of your child? That classifies as abuse! Let it go for now but have a talk straight after this week-end. He can't go on like this.

pomers · 05/03/2023 17:42

I would honestly leave somebody who called me the ‘c’ word. He neither loves nor respects you

Pussycat22 · 05/03/2023 17:43

Get rid.

PrinceHaz · 05/03/2023 17:46

I hope you manage to find a way to leave. You are not the cunt.

manticlimactic0 · 05/03/2023 17:50

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:48

I just want to say that I give him lifts regularly, and always have done in our relationship. He has done less so for me.
My issue with it this time is it's early on a Sunday and the only chance me and DD get to relax, the inconvenience and being called a cunt.

After being called a moaning cunt I would be telling him you're not just a moaning cunt. You're a cunt who won't be giving him a lift at all...ever again
😎
Because I would be living in a different house. Start planning now

Liz1tummypain · 05/03/2023 17:56

I can't fathom in what way anyone would call his behaviour pleasant, kind, or reasonable. I'd raise the subject of counselling because he sounds like a horrible husband. I hope he has some redeeming features. Good luck OP.

MavisCruet2023 · 05/03/2023 18:01

Bin him.