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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

871 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/03/2023 17:05

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
Vlunken · 02/03/2023 18:37

A man I expect.

temporarylights · 02/03/2023 18:37

Saucery · 02/03/2023 17:08

YANBU. They must have believed you or they wouldn’t have let you leave.

So what is the point of the phonecall today? Slow day.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 02/03/2023 18:37

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:35

Ah well that's a risk you have to take isn't it. And once again, one that men don't have to worry about so much, as they are less likely to be raped and murdered by serving police officers.

It would be an interesting test case, would it not?

I bet there's a feminist barrister who'd like a piece of that action.

purpledalmation · 02/03/2023 18:37

A similar thing happened to me and it was a proper police car, and a male and female in uniform. I was on my way home from work after a shift so it was 2.30am. No pothole, no erratic driving nothing. They made me get out and checked all my lights and indicators. I was terrified.

You did the right thing. I should have complained it was totally unnecessary

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:38

Posted before I was ready. It would be an interesting test case as the offence is if you refuse to give a preliminary sample "without reasonable excuse".

If you have said they should call a female officer, or you will meet them in a well lit car park like a supermarket or a local petrol station, I think that would be an arguable defence.

SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 18:38

FFS, if you don't want to adhere to our laws, go and live somewhere else maybe tell that to the police officers who've created this situation?

Even the police forces themselves admit it's not just the occasional bad apples and that too many "good" colleagues have stood by without reporting wrongdoing they knew of.

Starseeking · 02/03/2023 18:38

I wouldn't have wanted to get out of my car, but if I had refused the way you did, I'm sure they would have dragged me out, as I'm not white.

I'm very very scared of any interaction with the police, which is why I try and avoid getting into trouble (I'm extremely law-abiding lol).

Littlefaeries · 02/03/2023 18:38

Mainlinethehappy · 02/03/2023 18:35

FFS, if you don't want to adhere to our laws, go and live somewhere else.
I want to live in a country where what could be perceived as dangerous driving is challenged. I wouldn't mind in the slightest having my bags searched if security thought I had shoplifted, being searched at an airport if security thought I was a drugs mule, or being asked to breathalyse if police thought I might be over the limit.
Anything that keeps the world that bit safer is fine with me, however inconvenient it can sometimes be. You made extra work for the people trying to keep us safe with your shenanigans. No doubt you have a plethora of reasons for not wanting to get out of your car for two policemen, in which case find a moon where there is no law enforcement and go and live on that.

Keeping yourself safe is the most important thing surely.
That’s what the OP did.

FlamingoQueen · 02/03/2023 18:38

I have the police saved as my first number on my phone contacts (so I don’t have to scroll through my hands free set) and would ring them to say I was being pulled over, but I would stop at the next safe place to do so. I don’t think I’d ever stop somewhere dark or in the middle of nowhere for the police.
I also swerve a lot for potholes!

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:39

The problem is everyone is so bloody amenable and deferential to authority. The police serve us, not the other way round!

RedHelenB · 02/03/2023 18:39

babynoname22 · 02/03/2023 17:09

You were right. Legally you don't have to get out just pull over

You would nt be saying that if OP had gone on to kill someone because they gaunt breathalysed her and she was drunk.

54isanopendoor · 02/03/2023 18:40

orchid220 · 02/03/2023 17:16

You could have phoned the police station and given them the badge numbers. I don't think they would dare do anything illegal if you had given the police station their numbers.

Didn't stop Wayne Couzens or the many who will be appearing 'every week' according to the MET...

Well done OP, I'd do the same.

Vlunken · 02/03/2023 18:40

RedHelenB · 02/03/2023 18:39

You would nt be saying that if OP had gone on to kill someone because they gaunt breathalysed her and she was drunk.

She didn't and she wasn't, so your post is pointless

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:41

I wouldn't mind in the slightest having my bags searched if security thought I had shoplifted, being searched at an airport if security thought I was a drugs mule, or being asked to breathalyse if police thought I might be over the limit

I would kick up a fuss about having my bags searched as well! Not for the same reason, but because I don't like being accused of things I've not done.

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:41

You would nt be saying that if OP had gone on to kill someone because they gaunt breathalysed her and she was drunk

She swerved to avoid a pothole. The police would have presumably needed to swerve to avoid the same pothole, so they had no reason to stop her at all.

Tabitha1960 · 02/03/2023 18:42

PuttingDownRoots · 02/03/2023 17:09

Other option is to offer to ring the police station with their badge numbers to verify the stop...

But if they suspect you of drink driving I can see why they wouldn't want you driving off!

You can no longer "ring a police station". They removed all the individual phone numbers from public use.

DisforDarkChocolate · 02/03/2023 18:43

I was once stopped for a random test as part of a campaign to catch people drink driving from a bender the night before. I wasn't asked to get out of the car.

daffodilday · 02/03/2023 18:44

They’ve clearly learned nothing and continue to abuse their power (regarding the phone call you received)

Mainlinethehappy · 02/03/2023 18:44

The flawed logic on here is apparently infectious.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faulty_generalization

Abhannmor · 02/03/2023 18:44

You were quite right. You did offer to take the test so what's their problem?

MarshaBradyo · 02/03/2023 18:44

It needs to be done whilst the person is in the car, I don’t see why not

JackiePlace · 02/03/2023 18:45

HELL NO!
In fact I would say you are justified in making a complaint that they asked you to get out of the car.

Mainlinethehappy · 02/03/2023 18:46

lieselotte · 02/03/2023 18:41

You would nt be saying that if OP had gone on to kill someone because they gaunt breathalysed her and she was drunk

She swerved to avoid a pothole. The police would have presumably needed to swerve to avoid the same pothole, so they had no reason to stop her at all.

"they had been some distance in front of me at the time"
And probably without their map of district pot-holes to hand.
Can we stop police-bashing?

DashboardConfessional · 02/03/2023 18:46

GPs aren't the same thing. The police are in a unique position in that the tradeoff for going about your business in society is that you feel obliged to do as the police tells you. They know this. And nobody sees their GP on a country road at 2am.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 02/03/2023 18:46

I admire your cool, calm, collectedness, OP.

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