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Original poster

People stare at me … why ?

172 replies

Hiphophoo · 01/03/2023 22:19

I noticed in the past but more so recently… when I’m out and about I’ll catch men looking directly at me and then they look away when we make eye contact.

on the train/ walking to or from work/ in the office

does this happen to others? I feel so uncomfortable:(

OP posts:
nilsoften · 02/03/2023 07:19

Oops wrong thread. 😂

Devoutspoken · 02/03/2023 07:22

I'm sure it does happen to some people but i also think its to do with perception, I know a couple of people of both sexes who think this happens to them, they are not outstanding looking in any way

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

😂😂😂 @TwoLeftSocksWithHoles
I used to love those trolls, so I would love to see an alive one, and you are quite right, even if I didn't have the courage to go and give him or her a hug, I would stare at them!

AddictedtoStarmix · 02/03/2023 07:30

I experience this a lot!
Think it is because I have a very generic look, regularly get asked if I am 'so and so', or so and so's sister.
It is my ordinariness that leads people to stare, nothing more.
Either that or I am living in some glitch on the matrix.

schmalex · 02/03/2023 07:32

Are they staring or just looking? People look at me all the time and I look at people.
Do you get out much OP?

kateandme · 02/03/2023 07:38

if you think about it you must be looking at them.so maybe its more normal than you think. to see the staring you must be staring too. but its more highlighted when its coming your way where as to you your just idly looking someone way

MoreSleepPleasee · 02/03/2023 07:44

Maybe you're unique looking and they're intrigued

maeveiscurious · 02/03/2023 07:46

Humans look at each other, is this not understood

MoreSleepPleasee · 02/03/2023 07:46

kateandme · 02/03/2023 07:38

if you think about it you must be looking at them.so maybe its more normal than you think. to see the staring you must be staring too. but its more highlighted when its coming your way where as to you your just idly looking someone way

This is actually very true 🤣 I notice people looking at me if I'm looking at them to see if they're looking at me. They might be wondering what you are staring at.

SuffolkBargeWoman · 02/03/2023 07:47

Human beings look at each other, it's what they're programmed to do.

the narcissist approach is automatically thinking they where looking directly at you and somehow judging you whilst you where also obviously people watching...

This is absolutely right.

LookItsMeAgain · 02/03/2023 07:53

Some ideas as to why this might be happening:
You look stunningly beautiful
You look terribly ordinary
You have an eclectic wardrobe and wear it well (so it's admiration)
You have an eclectic wardrobe and you don't wear it well (so it's a 'what were they thinking when they got dressed' kind of look)
You have a stunning wardrobe and they are admiring how well put together you are
You have a stunning wardrobe and they don't look like they belong to you (you look like you've borrowed these clothes from someone else)
You have a distinctive gait
You resemble a celebrity and they are wondering why said celeb is getting the bus/train/public transport

These are just the things off the top of my head. I have no idea who you are or what you look like but do any of these seem even slightly plausible??

SkippyKangeroo · 02/03/2023 07:57

DahliaMacNamara · 01/03/2023 22:34

Tits.
It's usually tits.

I was going to say huge gazongas.

Or you dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident, but reveals a bit of knocker and leg.

Their issue, not yours.

nilsoften · 02/03/2023 08:16

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 07:24

😂😂😂 @TwoLeftSocksWithHoles
I used to love those trolls, so I would love to see an alive one, and you are quite right, even if I didn't have the courage to go and give him or her a hug, I would stare at them!

Show quote history

But you mustn't hunt them because that would be naughty. Justine's interns have to do thread starting, vicious thread starting to paraphrase the Prodigy in their first week. This has the whiff of nepotism about it.😂

Greenfairydust · 02/03/2023 08:19

People tend to stare at me too. I just think it is because I must look a bit weird somehow :) as I am not particularly attractive or have a particular strange dress sense.

It is not just men, just people in general.

I think it is normal to glance at the people you come across though, I would not read too much into it.

Downtown123 · 02/03/2023 08:19

My son used to complain about this and when I watched him he was actively looking to see who was looking at him so in reality he was the one looking at them which made them look at him. When I pointed this out to him he stopped doing it and now he doesn’t feel like everyone is looking at him.

FiddleLeaf · 02/03/2023 08:25

Are you a messy eater?

Sixmonthcruise · 02/03/2023 08:26

It because you have your skirt tucked into your knickers

Timetochangetheoil · 02/03/2023 08:30

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 07:11

I think I can answer your last question for you, but I am afraid that it is a very boring answer @Timetochangetheoil,

I am presuming that after the very kind gentleman who told you what the problem was, had told you about the flour, you cleaned all of the flour off, so then there was nothing for anyone else to tell you about, so he naturally became the last person (and the first person) to tell you.

Anyone who passed you after you had cleaned yourself up, probably assumed that you already knew that you were pregnant.

Show quote history

Ah yes, good point! I meant he was the last person I saw when returning to work so I’d been walking around for an hour like that with people staring and nobody said anything 😂

All joking aside, I do actually agree with other posters about men staring making you feel like prey. I get dread walking past a load of workmen etc. I think it happens to all of us at some point. It’s intimidating more than anything. You feel like a piece of meat.

Juicylucy1800 · 02/03/2023 08:34

One of my friends used to say this all the time. It almost became her personality. She's quite arrogant to be honest if you knew her you would see. She thinks ALL men fancy her. They couldn't possibly be looking at me or any other person she's with.

In reality she's fairly attractive but so are my other friends, some more so, I think it's probably her staring at men and wanting them to look at her, have their attention etc. If someone stares at you it causes you look at them and that is what is happening with her.

The amount of times she was talking about it and saying it was because she is sooooo pretty and everyone wants her etc, I ended up snapping at her and telling her it was all in her head and no one was looking at her at all. And to not say that to me again. She hasn't mentioned it to me again. But our mutual friends say she is still going on and on about it to them.

DuvetDownn · 02/03/2023 08:40

Maybe they’re jealous of your beard.

80s · 02/03/2023 08:55

If it was because you were ugly, you'd know because someone would have told you by now - strangers on the street, regularly, from puberty on. I had an odd-shaped nose and people would yell across the road that I was the ugliest person they had ever seen. Once someone made me wind the car window down so they could tell me I was ugly. I hated it when someone wolf-whistled me from behind in case they went past me and saw my face afterwards! (Hilarious for them, obviously!)

In my 40s I had trouble breathing through my nose and was prescribed a full rhinoplasty. I'm still not attractive, but people definitely react differently to before.

I'd imagine that if you were exceptionally attractive, you'd know it too, from appreciative comments. So it's more likely to be that you're looking at other people - or that you've just got it in your head that other people are staring, so you notice it when it does happen.

honeylulu · 02/03/2023 09:07

Is there something unusual about your appearance or demeanor? My 17 year old is learning to drive at the moment and we often go out for practice at the weekend, drive to different towns or villages, stop for a coffee before going back. People REALLY stare at us (neither of us experience the same when alone). It must be because teenage lads don't usually spend their weekend afternoons going for coffee with their middle aged mums!

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/03/2023 09:07

davegrohll · 01/03/2023 22:29

Same 😆

Show quote history

Never happens to me, but as a 70 year old woman I have been invisible for many years.

😁

EyesForU · 02/03/2023 09:08

So many possible reasons:

  • They think they know you, you remind them of someone, they are wondering where they know you from some people have one of those faces that look like many other people
  • You have a default facial expression of looking anxious, scared, angry, some unusual resting face expression
  • You have striking features, something unusual about your appearance
  • You are attractive
  • I'm sorry but it could be very unattractive or have a disfigurement
  • You look like a famous person
  • They are trying to guess where you are from your ethnic appearance
  • Your body and face are incredibly different: youthful slim body, older face, very big body and a skinny or young face. Something unusual or jarring or shocking about your appearance
  • You are wearing something unusual or sparkly or jangly that catches attention like big earrings, big hair accessories, loud or unusual clothes, loud heels or jewellery that makes noise as you move, loads of facial piercings, loud hair colour, heavy make up, very striking dark eyebrows, bright lipstick

They look away because:

  • They feel bad you clocked them because they had bad thoughts about you
  • They don't want to encourage communication because they didn't intentionally stare
  • They don't want to encourage anything or give impression of interest because they are unavailable to approach or date
  • They don't want you to think they are creeps or interested in you so they make sure they look away and don't look again

The ones that don't get stared at are the ones who blend in the crowd there is nothing good or bad about them that stands out.

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/03/2023 09:09

DuvetDownn · 02/03/2023 08:40

Maybe they’re jealous of your beard.

Or maybe the hairy hands.

What was that disease that the priests in Father Ted caught, which gave them hairy hands?

Maybe OP has that - it's very contagious, so don't sit next to them.