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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People stare at me … why ?

172 replies

Hiphophoo · 01/03/2023 22:19

I noticed in the past but more so recently… when I’m out and about I’ll catch men looking directly at me and then they look away when we make eye contact.

on the train/ walking to or from work/ in the office

does this happen to others? I feel so uncomfortable:(

OP posts:
CallieQ · 02/03/2023 01:18

Cos you are gawjus

LifeunderMarrs · 02/03/2023 01:22

Your moustache may need bleaching.

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 02/03/2023 01:28

I literally worry about this ALL the time. I get so paranoid worrying I've got something on my face. However, I've realised they're probably just making random eye contact at the exact same time I am and are probably worrying about the same thing I am

Monoplane · 02/03/2023 01:33

I used to get this a lot. I'd get chased and harassed too. It doesn't happen so much these days, but I still get it.

It IS because I'm good looking. And yes, I'm also well aware of how angry that makes certain people, as evidenced by this thread. I've had endless shit off women who take it personally that I happened to born with this face.

RobertsRadio · 02/03/2023 01:52

It's probably on account of your enormous knockers.

SomersetONeil · 02/03/2023 01:54

IME, being good looking doesn’t make people angry.

Being good looking and wanging on about it - blaming everything on it, including why women hate you - does tend to rile people up the wrong way. 😉

Underminer · 02/03/2023 02:05

You’ve caught a geezer peeping! Maintain the peep.

NastyNiff · 02/03/2023 02:08

Monoplane · 02/03/2023 01:33

I used to get this a lot. I'd get chased and harassed too. It doesn't happen so much these days, but I still get it.

It IS because I'm good looking. And yes, I'm also well aware of how angry that makes certain people, as evidenced by this thread. I've had endless shit off women who take it personally that I happened to born with this face.

That's fair if it's your experience X

oakleaffy · 02/03/2023 02:45

EllieM27 · 02/03/2023 00:18

Have you got pincers under your jaw like a crab perhaps?

😂🤣This has actually made me laugh out loud at 2:45am

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2023 02:49

Until I was about 28 and had my third child, I got "looks. I was slim.

Then I had another 3 kids and didnt get "looks".

Now I am nearly 50 and slim and I get looks again. Some men are shallow and will only get an eyeful of slim women. Sad but true.

Its not an insult but equally I wouldnt take it as a compliment, just yet more proof that despite their protestations to the contrary, the vast majority of men objectify women based on their looks.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2023 02:53

SomersetONeil · 02/03/2023 01:54

IME, being good looking doesn’t make people angry.

Being good looking and wanging on about it - blaming everything on it, including why women hate you - does tend to rile people up the wrong way. 😉

I agree in that there is a reason that the red tops love a good click bait-ey FB post "I am so good looking that my kid never gets invited to play dates as the other mums are jealous of me" because it winds people up who will inevitable either praise said woman or slag her off.

The thing about that shit that annoys me most? The grammar. Its ENVIOUS!

Timetochangetheoil · 02/03/2023 03:41

I’ve had this before. I was on my lunchbreak, walking round town, and every person I passed stared at me! I was 8 months pregnant at the time and I won’t lie it gave me a little spring in my step thinking “Ooh yeah that pregnancy glow, I’m irresistible.” Until the last person I passed round the corner from my office made eye contact, looked away, then actually jogged after me and touched my arm.
He said “I’m sorry, I can’t let you walk off like this.” Then gestured to my chin. “You’ve got something all over your face.”
I’d eaten a really floury bun for my lunch and it was EVERYWHERE. Full on white beard face, all over my top, the works. 🙈🙄 Why was it the LAST person who was kind enough to tell me!!

LHReturns · 02/03/2023 04:16

Do you look like someone a little famous? Lorraine Kelly? Jo Brand?

Lucylock · 02/03/2023 04:23

@Timetochangetheoil Ooh yeah that pregnancy glow, I’m irresistible.” 😁

Lucylock · 02/03/2023 04:27

@Op. Men stare at women, it's not news. They're weird. It never ceases to amaze me that a significant proportion of men think it's ok to stare at women and girls. My Dd was 14 when it started. Men twice her age, if not older gawping at her. Can you imagine doing that at a 14 year old lad?

I have to say OP, unless you're very young , or been living as a hermit I'm surprised this is a new thing for you.

Lucylock · 02/03/2023 04:34

I'm fat, average looking and nearly 50 and get stared at by men sometimes. It's not to do with looks alone, it's just being female and the fact that some men think they can stare. They know it intimidates women and most of us won't say anything. Women tend not to do it as men are generally physically stronger , so to me its.a power thing. Same way men often don't move out of the way when walking towards women and expect them to step aside. The patriarchy in action.

isthismylifenow · 02/03/2023 04:42

Did you have your lunch spilled down your top?

Dentistlakes · 02/03/2023 04:43

Tanfastic · 01/03/2023 22:27

Maybe when I was younger, invisible now. Can't say I miss the gawping. Ignore it.

Me too! Once I hit 50 it’s like I don’t exist. It’s quite nice actually, although I do get a lot more doors held open for me.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 02/03/2023 05:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blueberrymuffin03 · 02/03/2023 05:17

Dont worry you'll be invisible when you're older.

Blueberrymuffin03 · 02/03/2023 05:18

Dentistlakes · 02/03/2023 04:43

Me too! Once I hit 50 it’s like I don’t exist. It’s quite nice actually, although I do get a lot more doors held open for me.

It's brilliant, I'm 43 and totally invisible, I love it!

NastyNiff · 02/03/2023 05:21

Staring at the ground and avoiding all eye contact helps, I find

barmycatmum · 02/03/2023 05:23

I’m not sure why people are being so snarky about this. YES, this happens to me, and I hate it. Hate. And you can’t even ask anyone why this happens, because they act like the people in this thread.
I absolutely loathe being stared at, and worse, being approached. I’ve felt like prey my entire life, and no, I do not consider myself beautiful.

I loved wearing masks, because I could hide.

Suzi888 · 02/03/2023 05:28

Blueberrymuffin03 · 02/03/2023 05:17

Dont worry you'll be invisible when you're older.

^ Yup! 😂

Posyapocalypse · 02/03/2023 05:38

Why do you think it might be happening ?

Im average/plain looking but have disproportionately large boobs for my height/frame. It took till my close (male) friend said men were looking at them, especially when I wore a crossbody bag as it ‘highlighted’ them. I’d never even thought about it. I don’t wear tight or low cut tops which show any cleavage etc so didn’t even consider this.