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AIBU?

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Original poster

People stare at me … why ?

172 replies

Hiphophoo · 01/03/2023 22:19

I noticed in the past but more so recently… when I’m out and about I’ll catch men looking directly at me and then they look away when we make eye contact.

on the train/ walking to or from work/ in the office

does this happen to others? I feel so uncomfortable:(

OP posts:
Posyapocalypse · 02/03/2023 05:41

Don’t worry you'll be invisible when you're older
Not necessarily. I’m mid 60s and still get stared at (see my above posts about big boobs). Granted they’re a magnet for older men only these days but I don’t appear to be invisible to leery older men.

Posyapocalypse · 02/03/2023 05:42

I feel so uncomfortable:(

Not uncomfortable, just pissed off.

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 05:43

I figure when people stare at me it may be because of them thinking they forgot to pay a bill, trying to work who the person is that said hello to them 20 minutes ago, they are running late for an an appointment, well not really those specific things

But as it is possibly nothing to do with me, they might not even realise they are doing it

Do people need to make up scenarios in their head about what another person must be thinking?

AnImaginaryCat · 02/03/2023 05:50

AffIt · 02/03/2023 00:48

Happens to me all the time.

But then I am a dragon and live in Glasgow.

Should never have left Cardiff.

Oh me too, though I found Felixstowe less starey than Cardiff. Think it's because it's by the sea.

NastyNiff · 02/03/2023 05:55

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2023 02:49

Until I was about 28 and had my third child, I got "looks. I was slim.

Then I had another 3 kids and didnt get "looks".

Now I am nearly 50 and slim and I get looks again. Some men are shallow and will only get an eyeful of slim women. Sad but true.

Its not an insult but equally I wouldnt take it as a compliment, just yet more proof that despite their protestations to the contrary, the vast majority of men objectify women based on their looks.

Yes indeed. The assumption can be that the attention of men is a terrific prize that women should fight over. This is not necessarily the case.

barmycatmum · 02/03/2023 06:03

Timetochangetheoil · 02/03/2023 03:41

I’ve had this before. I was on my lunchbreak, walking round town, and every person I passed stared at me! I was 8 months pregnant at the time and I won’t lie it gave me a little spring in my step thinking “Ooh yeah that pregnancy glow, I’m irresistible.” Until the last person I passed round the corner from my office made eye contact, looked away, then actually jogged after me and touched my arm.
He said “I’m sorry, I can’t let you walk off like this.” Then gestured to my chin. “You’ve got something all over your face.”
I’d eaten a really floury bun for my lunch and it was EVERYWHERE. Full on white beard face, all over my top, the works. 🙈🙄 Why was it the LAST person who was kind enough to tell me!!

Bahahahaha this is so awesome

barmycatmum · 02/03/2023 06:06

That’s exactly it. It feels threatening, unsafe, not a compliment. It’s just being a woman.
and maybe men are extra awful after lockdown or something.

barmycatmum · 02/03/2023 06:06

Ugh sorry, that was in reply to a previous post. We need an edit button!

GoodChat · 02/03/2023 06:24

AngelinaFibres · 01/03/2023 22:50

I am the world's only 5'4" International supermodel ( early retirement division) so it happens to me aaaallll the time.

Early retirement division 🤣🤣🤣

NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 02/03/2023 06:31

I’m stunning beautiful and get this a lot too. But I just turn my red, veiny eyes away from them, smooth down my beard and waddle away as quickly as I can.

Bloopsie · 02/03/2023 06:32

How would someone know without a picutre?

KatherineJaneway · 02/03/2023 06:37

Why are you looking at them? If you can see they are looking at you, you must be looking at them.

SinisterIslandRoundabout · 02/03/2023 06:39

threeplusmum · 01/03/2023 22:41

As long as you've got a face, people will look.

Even more if you don’t have one 😂

Jamieleecurtain · 02/03/2023 06:50

There is something about you that stands out to them. We can’t tell you without seeing you- I’m shooting with young and attractive

PoseyFlump · 02/03/2023 06:50

It'll be worse when the sun comes out! That really drives the boob oglers wild.

Cantdoitwontdoit · 02/03/2023 06:50

Oh this happened to me. Mid thirties.

I’ve been reliably informed by my brother that it in in fact because I am so ugly, I actually end up almost going full circle and being a little pretty.

Apparently it’s so bizarre to see, people can’t help but stare.

As a side note, if you are ever suffering from a mistaken sense of grandeur because you’ve mistaken people watching for people staring at you, may I recommend having a brother.

Took the wind right out of my sails 😂

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 06:55

threeplusmum · 01/03/2023 22:41

As long as you've got a face, people will look.

To be honest @threeplusmum I think people would look even more if she didn't have a face, so maybe by accident you have come up with the answer to the poor OP's very worrying dilemma.

If she hasn't got a face, I wonder where her eyes are? Ureka, I have an answer to my own question, which gives an more plausible reason for why @Hiphophoo gets stared at all the time:

As well as not having a face, her eyes are where her nipples should be, so she has to have round holes cut out of all her bras and the rest of her clothing, in the place where her nipples would usually be, so that her eyes can peep out and notice all of those people staring at her.

I think that would definitely make people stare. However, I am not going to go along with what then becomes the next obvious question, about where her nipples are then...

Sunriseinwonderland · 02/03/2023 06:57

Don't worry when you hit 50 you will be completely invisible.

78Summer · 02/03/2023 07:07

Used to happen to me. Then I got older and am mainly invisible. I am not wearing a magic cloak so I figure it is aging.
Doesn’t bother me either way.

RedHelenB · 02/03/2023 07:10

Offleyhoo · 02/03/2023 01:06

I know someone who is convinced men stare at her / follow her so deliberately wears huge baggy ensembles to deter them. I'm pretty sure there's nothing even slightly unusual about her either way.

This. For you to notice them looking at you, you must have been looking at them.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 07:11

barmycatmum · 02/03/2023 06:03

Bahahahaha this is so awesome

Show quote history

I think I can answer your last question for you, but I am afraid that it is a very boring answer @Timetochangetheoil,

I am presuming that after the very kind gentleman who told you what the problem was, had told you about the flour, you cleaned all of the flour off, so then there was nothing for anyone else to tell you about, so he naturally became the last person (and the first person) to tell you.

Anyone who passed you after you had cleaned yourself up, probably assumed that you already knew that you were pregnant.

neverendinglauaundry · 02/03/2023 07:13

Are you wearing a particularly strange hat?

TheLadyofShalott1 · 02/03/2023 07:15

SomersetONeil · 02/03/2023 01:54

IME, being good looking doesn’t make people angry.

Being good looking and wanging on about it - blaming everything on it, including why women hate you - does tend to rile people up the wrong way. 😉

This.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/03/2023 07:16

Its because you are really short.

soleilblue · 02/03/2023 07:18

Notimeforaname · 01/03/2023 22:21

Because you're either really gorgeous or really ugly🤷‍♀️

Ask them next time.

This. Or you're staring at them.