Page 9 | AIBU not going to my nephew's christening?

ehb102 · 02/03/2023 17:47

Way to be intolerant of someone else's beliefs. I think you should stay away if you can't hold your tongue and support the family.

It's not just about believing, it's about belonging.

RampantIvy · 02/03/2023 17:54

I think the OP posted to be deliberately goady.

Sceptre86 · 02/03/2023 17:55

You sound like hard work! It isn't about you, most would go to support their sibling. Sometimes for family you just take one for the team. You've made your feelings clear though so if you don't want to, don't.

sillysmiles · 02/03/2023 18:04

AllOfThemWitches · 02/03/2023 13:34

So, we're saying it's 'unkind' to express opinions in a reasonable manner now. OK.

If no one asked for her opinion, then yes, keep your opinions on other people's faith and child rearing to yourself.

Haraebo · 02/03/2023 18:14

I'll pray for you.

PuzzledObserver · 02/03/2023 18:31

I wouldn’t worry about the indoctrination, OP.

Unless your BIL and sister are committed believers themselves, it will be like most of the baptisms which are carried out to appease the grandparents: they won’t take the child to church or teach them anything about the faith.

AllOfThemWitches · 02/03/2023 18:39

If no one asked for her opinion, then yes, keep your opinions on other people's faith and child rearing to yourself.

Her own sister probably did ask her 😆 anyway, not much more to add to this really weird thread but being intolerant is not choosing to swerve a religious ceremony but I'd certainly say a pile on and personal attacks (both demonstrated in this thread) show intolerance.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/03/2023 19:57

Where's the 'tolerance' on this thread for OP's beliefs?

Tolerance doesn't mean making no judgement about people's behaviour. The entire point of this forum is to discuss whether people are being unreasonable. That is the question OP ask- people are just answering.

AllOfThemWitches · 02/03/2023 20:27

donquixotedelamancha · 02/03/2023 19:57

Where's the 'tolerance' on this thread for OP's beliefs?

Tolerance doesn't mean making no judgement about people's behaviour. The entire point of this forum is to discuss whether people are being unreasonable. That is the question OP ask- people are just answering.

Yeah there is discussion and there are personal attacks... what is with the faux naivety on this site, you can see with your own eyes that people are being absolute pricks for the fun of it...

JMSA · 02/03/2023 20:35

God, what a misery. YABU.

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 02/03/2023 20:36

I though half retm finished

donquixotedelamancha · 02/03/2023 20:48

Yeah there is discussion and there are personal attacks

If there are personal attacks, report them.

It doesn't change the fact that it isn't intolerant for everyone to think that OP doesn't sound (in her own words) like a nice person.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 02/03/2023 23:51

TellSomeoneElse · 01/03/2023 19:37

Oh don’t be such a self righteous dick.

Exactly this.

Bella37 · 03/03/2023 06:48

I would attend a ceremony of any religion if close friends and family had invited me, I am there for them not the religious aspect, you never know you might have a nice time seeing your nephew and family, you don’t have to buy a religious gift, just a money box or something like that. It’s your choice obviously but I would be upset if my sister didn’t attend something that was important to me.

CheersForThatEh · 03/03/2023 06:53

Did you go to her wedding?

This sounds incredibly combative on your part to stake your beliefs so hard on her life choices. Go or dont. Stop making it about you. She was never going to cancel was she so you should have bowed out quietly. Live and let live. Are you also anti santa?

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:09

headlessduck · 01/03/2023 19:24

Hey, my sister has just had her first baby and they have decided to christen him. None of our family is religious, but my BIL's parents are quite religious. I think they are mostly christening him because of them. I think that raising your child to be religious is deeply unethical. I think it is wrong to teach kids their ludicrous beliefs which there is almost no evidence for as if they are facts. It actively discourages critical thinking. You are facilitating a religion that is deeply misogynistic and homophobic, even if you conveniently ignore these parts of the Bible. Christenings are promising to do just that. At best it is a hypocritical promise. In this case, I think this is all it is. I feel uncomfortable supporting this, and I find religious ceremonies infuriating and boring. I told her I would not be going for these reasons. It is their choice. I am not trying to stop them from doing this, I just don't want to go myself. However, she told me this was "ridiculous" and "pathetic" and that it was "mostly just an excuse for a party." What does everyone think of this? AIBU not going to my nephew's christening?

It's sad that your sister thinks a Christening is 'just an excuse for a party'. And you're being ridiculous and pathetic for sticking to your principles, when she treats it like a joke? OP your sister is the one being ridiculous and pathetic. If she doesn't believe in it what is stopping her from having a party any time she wants? YANBU your sister sounds shallow and easily influenced by her husband.

RosaBonheur · 03/03/2023 08:19

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:09

It's sad that your sister thinks a Christening is 'just an excuse for a party'. And you're being ridiculous and pathetic for sticking to your principles, when she treats it like a joke? OP your sister is the one being ridiculous and pathetic. If she doesn't believe in it what is stopping her from having a party any time she wants? YANBU your sister sounds shallow and easily influenced by her husband.

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You know what they say though. Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone's got one. We don't necessarily need to see it.

I think that applies to this situation.

sillysmiles · 03/03/2023 08:20

If she doesn't believe in it what is stopping her from having a party any time she wants? YANBU your sister sounds shallow and easily influenced by her husband.

Or maybe it is important to her husband- the child's father-and the OPs sister is fairly easy going about it, so happy to go along with what is important to him about this.

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:26

RosaBonheur · 03/03/2023 08:19

You know what they say though. Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone's got one. We don't necessarily need to see it.

I think that applies to this situation.

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The problem is it's her sister so how else does she decline, without saying why? She can't just not go and with no reason. As it is, even though OP is respectfully declining, the sister isn't taking no for an answer. OP's wishes aren't being respected.

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:29

Puppers · 01/03/2023 19:35

You should have just politely declined instead of lecturing your sister on her choices for her family.

@Puppers If you read the OP, she did politely decline but it's the sister who is lecturing OP, calling her ridiculous and pathetic, and won't accept OP's polite decline.

RosaBonheur · 03/03/2023 08:30

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:26

The problem is it's her sister so how else does she decline, without saying why? She can't just not go and with no reason. As it is, even though OP is respectfully declining, the sister isn't taking no for an answer. OP's wishes aren't being respected.

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Well I think if she cared more about her sister than she does about her own ego she'd just go, smile, and keep her opinions to herself.

But the other option is to pretend she's been invited to a wedding on the same day, or has booked a holiday, or even just wait until the day itself and say she's got norovirus.

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:34

RosaBonheur · 03/03/2023 08:30

Well I think if she cared more about her sister than she does about her own ego she'd just go, smile, and keep her opinions to herself.

But the other option is to pretend she's been invited to a wedding on the same day, or has booked a holiday, or even just wait until the day itself and say she's got norovirus.

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But why should she have to? And if the sister cared more about the OP than her own ego and being shallow, she'd accept the OP's wishes with good grace and stop trying to bully her to go to something she doesn't believe in. It goes both ways. It's an invitation, not a summons. Why can't the sister have the decency to respect OP's wishes?

saraclara · 03/03/2023 08:36

AllOfThemWitches · 02/03/2023 10:28

Again, it doesn't align with my personal beliefs, but I am broad minded and tolerant enough to know that the world is bigger than just me

Where's the 'tolerance' on this thread for OP's beliefs? There are plenty of personal attacks though.

Has anyone on here been intolerant of her atheism? Not that I've seen. What they've been intolerant of is her egotistical preachiness in her response to her sister and her unwillingness to be present for a family event.

RosaBonheur · 03/03/2023 08:39

ItsShiela · 03/03/2023 08:34

But why should she have to? And if the sister cared more about the OP than her own ego and being shallow, she'd accept the OP's wishes with good grace and stop trying to bully her to go to something she doesn't believe in. It goes both ways. It's an invitation, not a summons. Why can't the sister have the decency to respect OP's wishes?

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My brother is a militant atheist but participated joyfully in my church wedding. Because he understood that the day wasn't about him.

He also agreed to be the godfather of his best friend's son on the understanding that he wouldn't be guiding the child in Christian faith, but would happily be a role model, provide moral guidance and be an alternative father figure in his life.

AllOfThemWitches · 03/03/2023 08:39

'Egotistical' 😆😆

I think that could be applied to a few here tbh. You're grown adults ffs, accept that other adults do things differently (and perfectly reasonably) to you without all the name-calling.