To find DH’s army stories a bit cringy?

[Thistledew]

In practically any social situation, DH likes to tell stories about his time in the army- the training he did, the people he encountered etc. These are somewhat amusing/interesting/entertaining, but not hugely so. They are his memoirs, rather than being particularly meaningful.

What I find a bit cringy is that he was in the army over 20 years ago, and when I say ‘in the army’, he completed the basic training at the military academy at Sandhurst and left at the end without seeing any active service because he decided he hated army life (fair enough). So ‘the army’ was for him little more than a glorified finishing school.

I just feel a bit embarrassed when he shoehorns a story about the army into practically every social situation we are in, but wonder if IABU?

Nope YANBU.

My FIL was in the army and every (and I mean every) story or conversation leads back to the army.

Boring as fuck, incredibly predictable and evidence that he's very much a one trick pony....

My DH served 7 years in the infantry. He saw the most horrific things and never talks about it or tells people unless they ask.

He always says the cringiest story tellers are the ones in pen pusher jobs or those who barely lasted 2 minutes, whereas those who undertook frontline/active service are a lot more discreet.

Have to say I hate it when people chime up with army stories. Maybe because I know so much of the hell of what DH went through, stuff he’s only told me and good friends he lost, and I can’t get excited about what other people say.

YANBU!
We know someone who was a submariner over 20 years ago, he did do a few years, but Christ! He can’t speak, or post online without shoehorning in some reference to it. He’s even sewn some badge onto a rucksack 😂

"During the war..!!"

DP was in the army, he served 3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, he has severe PTSD and also some physical effects.

He tells some stories, but they are mostly about day to day life. Things like not being able to wash, the Americans having better kit and food, getting lost heading a convoy.

There is a lot he doesn't talk about.

Your DH is doing the equivalent of boasting about his time at school/uni.

Ask him why he does it

Each and every time say, “thanks for your input Uncle Albert”.

Hm…. Yea that’s cringe, especially when he’s never actually seen the real army outside of training

Finishing training at Sandhurst then binning out and actually going on active service are two very, very different things. YANBU and he is being an arse.

I had an ex-boyfriend like this...except his stories were about being in the UOTC and how he was totally going to Sandhurst. He never went to Sandhurst and never ended up joining the army.

Last I heard he was still telling the stories though and we're in our 30s now...

Love this!

🤣🤣🤣

He wasn’t in the army he just went to army school 🤣🤣

Well my DH does the army story thing too but at least he’s seen action. Agree army stories are boring as fuck. Especially when you hear the exact same story 10x at different social events. DH says that men are impressed by war stories but I think he’s making a prat of himself tbh 🤷‍♀️

But after 1 yr of Sandhurst hilarious

Must be some unresolved ambition? God sounds so boring.

Just respond “gosh why don’t you volunteer with [insert army charity name of choice], they really need volunteers and it’s only a few hours every weekend”. Eg could volunteer in charity shop, warehouse etc. Would be particularly good if it’s raising money for therapy for veterans to talk about issues, as famously they never do talk.

He can either put up or shut up about his “service” as tbh he hasn’t done anything yet! (No offence, ex DP was ex army and had issues from multiple tours, he wasn’t exactly keen to talk about it)

It’s a bit weird isn’t it? I would have thought he would have wanted to keep quiet about it on the basis that he bailed after training and didn’t do anything. Seems lacking in self awareness.

That’s so embarrassing of him, I’d be cringing too. It also seems so.. misleading to his ‘audience’. It certainly doesn’t sit quite right.
I used to work with someone like this, this guy never even finished basic training because he jumped off a (knee) high stone wall and (twisted) destroyed his knee, thus written off forevermore apparently. It turned me inside out cringing when another chap started who’d been in the army for 25 years and original man was attempting to align himself, as tho they had the same experiences 😬

I thought you were being a cow until I read that he left after training and never actually served... and now I think you're a saint for putting up with this. How totally cringeworthy!

DF and DFIL both served in World War II. DF never spoke about it. DFIL did very occasionally.

My father was a weapons instructor, also in Ireland during the 70s and 80s, you wouldn't hear him talk a word about it in public and very much else than what I've stated behind closed doors.

I would find it extremely cringey and would pity him for not having anything else of interest to talk about in the last 20 years.

Can you encourage him to find a new hobby or something?

Nothing like liking your partner!

Long time following the drum here - yes he's being a bit of a wanker.

And a boring one too, by the sounds of it, because you don't get many good anecdotes out of such a short time in. And even good dits don't bear years of repetition.

Sounds like he misses something from his time in the Army though - comradeship? Sense of purpose? Structure?

One of my ex boyfriends did two tours of Ireland he had ptsd as a result and couldn't talk about it without becoming upset.
Empty kettles op, I'm cringing for you.

Both of my son's are ex-Army and between them served in Bosnia/Ireland/Irag & Afganistan they never talk about it and I never ask.
Your OH is an embarressment to any serving member of the armed forces and should be told so the next time he starts spouting off his mouth.

I'm guessing he wouldn't pipe up like that on front of career Army officers or soldiers....

DH is 24yrs served in the Navy. Every bloody dit is about the Navy, but it's all he's eaten, slept and breathed in his adult life. Stories are about people, silly scenarios, errors, parties etc. Not about the bodies he's pulled out of the water, rescue missions etc (many).

No one who has served actual time will take your DH seriously and even people like me with a bit of knowledge would think him a prize twat.

I'm cringing just reading your OP - I think I would cringe myself into a pretzel shape if I had to sit listening to him and people knew we were married!

We all have our embarrassing habits and if this is the worst thing about him, it's pretty harmless. But...very cringeworthy.

I know someone who was in the army many years ago and just doesn't let it drop.

Apparently they are classed as "Army-barmy"