To find DH’s army stories a bit cringy?

[Thistledew]

In practically any social situation, DH likes to tell stories about his time in the army- the training he did, the people he encountered etc. These are somewhat amusing/interesting/entertaining, but not hugely so. They are his memoirs, rather than being particularly meaningful.

What I find a bit cringy is that he was in the army over 20 years ago, and when I say ‘in the army’, he completed the basic training at the military academy at Sandhurst and left at the end without seeing any active service because he decided he hated army life (fair enough). So ‘the army’ was for him little more than a glorified finishing school.

I just feel a bit embarrassed when he shoehorns a story about the army into practically every social situation we are in, but wonder if IABU?

Perhaps he needed to talk about stuff he'd been through. Being in a war is different to the op's partner.

I'd be embarrassed OP and probably pull him up on it. It's like going on a boat trip and saying you're a sailor.

Agree about the stupid ‘Walt-shaming’ group being utter utter bullies.
Trial by Facebook eh?
Dumb fucks.

Haha! Exactly what I was thinking! (Is that you Uncle Albert?)

I went to uni with a man like this. He related everything back to his army days and his "trauma". It got really old quick, especially when someone else found out he'd only (just) completed basic training and all ofnhis war stories were fabricated.

Try and mix with people thst have actually been in the military. They will rib him for not being able to get past basic training, and therefore technically wasn't even in the army, just a wannabe.

He'll get the message.

There are many tragic bores.
Golf, wine, cycling for example, but I think forces bored are the worst of them all. Their stories are generally macho bullshit and I see no glory in it.

My brother worked on submarines, mainly in Gibraltar, mending engines. This was 25 years ago
He started a conversation the other day with “when I was in Iraq helping clean up bodies”

The irony of being so eager to jump in to accuse someone else of not reading the post that you reveal you haven't read the post you're criticising....cringe

Thanks for all the comments. Sorry I was too busy to reply yesterday.

To be fair to DH he has never claimed to have done any sort of active service or anything beyond the 3 years training. His reasons for leaving and not taking up the commission were also genuine, and not to do with lack of aptitude- he just found he really disliked the way that being in the forces takes over every aspect of your life and you don’t really have a life that is separate from it. He also found himself really uncomfortable with the way that very senior and experienced non-commissioned soldiers were expected to defer to him and his peers just because they had the life choices that enabled them to come in as officers.

I’m going to try to talk to him kindly about this. We are having some issues in our relationship and I’m increasingly thinking that many of these stem from a well-concealed lack of self-esteem on DH’s part. He seems so proud of his army experiences that it feels quite cruel to point out to him that other people don’t view it in the same way, but I think that maybe he needs to let go of it in order to recognise that his worth as a person does not rely on it.

Why was he in training for 3 years? the RMAS officers course is 44 weeks.

So these bullies may not realise that the person they are laser focus quizzing about their specific service record is being vague on purpose, not because they’re lying

Anyone who can show they've actually served will be safe from Walt-hunters, even if they've bigged up their story a bit. The sort of people they go after are those who have never served, or are wearing medals to which they have no entitlement whatsoever. Both of which actions are all-too-often accompanied by other fraudulent actions (conning individuals and occasionally even charities for cash or other benefits). There really are some very shitty people out there.

He sounds like he’s very insecure and unconfident in his achievements and maybe has some social anxiety. It is cringe though but I’d look at building his self esteem. Tell him what you genuinely find impressive or interesting about him. Maybe do more hobbies together

Ex dp does this. Regales unsuspecting bystanders with tales of his army days where he handled REAL guns with REAL bullets. In reality, he did 6 months national service in his home country where he mostly peeled potatoes and guarded empty mountains. Chuck Norris has nothing on him.

While not military related I was in bar with my sister years ago waiting for a couple of friends to turn up. One chap took a shine to my sister and started trying to chat her up, fairly harmless at first but soon told us he was a professional rugby player. My sister and I come from a rugby family and have followed the game for years so this line of conversation piqued our interest. At first I thought he might have played semi-pro for a lower league club and gave him the benefit of the doubt but no, he had to push it and claimed he played for a certain London Premiership club. My sister played dumb and pretended to be suitably impressed and this chap grew in confidence and started to claim all sorts of great deeds on the rugby field. Our friends eventually turned up and unfortunately for this chap they were both internationals who actually played for the club he claimed to be a key part of. Never seen someone make their excuses and leave so quickly.

😀

That's a classic example of a Walt being caught out claiming to have been in a small elite group....very risky.

The best example I saw was somebody walting about being in the Red Arrows, not realising somebody who really had been in the Reds was sat at the same dinner table.....

That was entertaining.