My husband was driving to my mum’s yesterday and on the journey I saw my work friend in front driving 35 in a 40 and my husband thought it would be appropriate to tailgate and keep revving the engine up her arse whilst beeping the horn and swearing. She was sticking fingers up back and then she locked eyes with me when he ripped round her when he was able to.
I’ve never felt so humiliated and embarrassed!! I want the ground to swallow me up! I already suffer with social anxiety as it is and I’m fuming at my DH for behaving this way and I can’t face her on Thursday when I see her at work!
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AIBU?
To be too embarrassed to face friend after DH’s road rage
286 replies
JaimieP · 28/02/2023 02:28
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
644 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
9%
You are NOT being unreasonable
91%
Porridgealert ·
28/02/2023 03:44
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Eyerollcentral ·
28/02/2023 03:46
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Porridgealert ·
28/02/2023 04:08
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Eyerollcentral ·
28/02/2023 04:09
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
MereDintofPandiculation ·
28/02/2023 04:11
ImustLearn2Cook · 28/02/2023 03:54
While I don’t condone your husband’s road rage (I absolutely hate tailgaters and aggressive driving but I also strongly dislike obstructive drivers too) I think that both your husband and your friend behaved badly.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you weren’t driving or behaving like a dick.
I think this article is quite interesting. Might put some things into perspective.
A speed limit is not a target – how many times did your driving instructor tell you that? However, driving too slowly or braking without good cause is an offence, coming under the scope of ‘inconsiderate driving’. This is defined as driving a vehicle on a road or in a public place without reasonable consideration for other people. In order to prove that you're guilty of this offence, prosecutors must show that another driver was actually inconvenienced by your driving.
…
If you’re driving slowly on a single carriageway and are feeling pressurised by traffic behind you, then simply find a safe place to pull over and allow the following traffic to pass. It will be less stressful and less frustrating for everyone.
www.carkeys.co.uk/amp/news/driving-below-the-speed-limit-can-land-you-a-huge-fine
Porridgealert ·
28/02/2023 04:19
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:09
Or don’t be a d*ck and drive right up someone’s ass to shave thirty seconds off your journey
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Eyerollcentral ·
28/02/2023 04:43
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:19
He wouldn't have done that if she'd driven to the limit instead of taking her eyes of the road and her hand off the wheel to give the finger.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think she was the careless and provocative driver.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:09
Or don’t be a d*ck and drive right up someone’s ass to shave thirty seconds off your journey
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Eyerollcentral ·
28/02/2023 04:46
ImustLearn2Cook · 28/02/2023 04:32
@MereDintofPandiculation yes you are right, that is why I included the link. It is so others could choose to read the whole article in context for themselves. I really didn’t want to copy and paste the whole article.
However, whether you get fined or not for driving too slowly at 35 mph in a 40 mph zone is completely beside the point.
Both drivers behaved badly on the road. He for his road rage actions, her for responding by taking her hand off the wheel to give him the finger to basically antagonise him further and to continue to stubbornly hold him up.
The advice to pull over and let someone pass is good advice. It’s what I grew up seeing people do on a road that had no way of overtaking. It was really common to see people doing that. Now, most drivers act like they own the road.
It’s not hard to let people pass if they want to drive at the speed limit and you don’t. It’s the right thing to do and I don’t think that this arrogant and entitled attitude of ‘I don’t have have to let you pass me’ has any place on our roads.
Instead of giving him the finger she should have just pulled over when it was safe to do so and let him pass. And he really shouldn’t have been so aggressive and just accept that he was stuck behind her until there was an opportunity to overtake.
oneyouknow ·
28/02/2023 04:48
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:43
She wasn’t though, the pr*ck behind her definitely was. If you genuinely think that you may have cognitive difficulties
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:19
He wouldn't have done that if she'd driven to the limit instead of taking her eyes of the road and her hand off the wheel to give the finger.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think she was the careless and provocative driver.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:09
Or don’t be a d*ck and drive right up someone’s ass to shave thirty seconds off your journey
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Porridgealert ·
28/02/2023 05:07
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:43
She wasn’t though, the pr*ck behind her definitely was. If you genuinely think that you may have cognitive difficulties
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:19
He wouldn't have done that if she'd driven to the limit instead of taking her eyes of the road and her hand off the wheel to give the finger.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think she was the careless and provocative driver.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:09
Or don’t be a d*ck and drive right up someone’s ass to shave thirty seconds off your journey
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
Eyerollcentral ·
28/02/2023 05:18
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 05:07
You don't seem to be able to control your temper either with your name calling and insults.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:43
She wasn’t though, the pr*ck behind her definitely was. If you genuinely think that you may have cognitive difficulties
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:19
He wouldn't have done that if she'd driven to the limit instead of taking her eyes of the road and her hand off the wheel to give the finger.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think she was the careless and provocative driver.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 04:09
Or don’t be a d*ck and drive right up someone’s ass to shave thirty seconds off your journey
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 04:08
Exactly, no one knows what other people have on their plate so don't be inconsiderate and drive flicking the finger when you could just drive a bit faster.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:46
Yes we all know it’s frustrating, we’ve all got places to be. The difference in time taken for a short journey between 35 and 40 mph is seconds. Your problem is you have a lot on your plate not someone not driving at the speed limit.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:44
You don't know what the difference is. I live in a popular visitors spot. And people use our roads as a fun tootle out. But I'm a carer for my mum and sometimes I get delayed at work and I need to get to her because she gets distressed. People fannying around, so they can look around are very frustrating to me and other road users.
Eyerollcentral · 28/02/2023 03:37
What’s the difference in time over the course of day a couple of miles between someone doing 35 and 40? Ridiculous.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:26
When you've got a stream of traffic, you drive to the limit because to not do so causes frustration and accidents. If you're capable of flicking the finger, your capable of driving 4 miles faster.
skilpadde · 28/02/2023 03:19
A speed limit is a limit, not a target. It's reasonable to drive according to road and weather conditions. Just because you're on a single-carriage road doesn't mean that people are obligated to hit the speed limit.
Road rage and aggressive driving in response is utterly reprehensible, and that tailgater is far more likely to be involved in road collisions than the driver in front.
Some drivers could really do with chilling out.
Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07
I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating
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