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AIBU?

To be too embarrassed to face friend after DH’s road rage

286 replies

JaimieP · 28/02/2023 02:28

My husband was driving to my mum’s yesterday and on the journey I saw my work friend in front driving 35 in a 40 and my husband thought it would be appropriate to tailgate and keep revving the engine up her arse whilst beeping the horn and swearing. She was sticking fingers up back and then she locked eyes with me when he ripped round her when he was able to.

I’ve never felt so humiliated and embarrassed!! I want the ground to swallow me up! I already suffer with social anxiety as it is and I’m fuming at my DH for behaving this way and I can’t face her on Thursday when I see her at work!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

644 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
9%
You are NOT being unreasonable
91%
ThreeLittleDots · 28/02/2023 10:35

If you choose to be with this charmer then you have to accept the consequences I'm afraid.

Why are you with him?

BubziOwl · 28/02/2023 10:38

Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07

I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating

In a 40mph zone yes it's obviously ideal to do 40. But anyone who gets actually angry at someone doing 35 in a 40 honestly needs help imo. It's really not normal to get angry over something so unimportant.

horseyhorsey17 · 28/02/2023 10:40

Have you got her number? I would text or call ASAP and apologise and get that out of the way ASAP. You shouldn't have to apologise for your OH being a massive twat but it's all you can do now really.

I hate slow drivers too but it's dangerous to tailgate/do road rage weirdness. Maybe he needs some anger management?!

2bazookas · 28/02/2023 10:42

Give a large bunch of flowers to your friend. Paid for by DH whether he knows that or not.

DahliaMacNamara · 28/02/2023 11:14

I simply cannot get into the mindset of drivers who tailgate. I can sort of understand lots of behaviours I wouldn't engage in myself, but driving up the arse of someone slower, thereby putting yourself and other road users in unnecessary danger, is a complete puzzle to me. I feel no compulsion to comply with demands from inadequate bullies. I don't imagine many people do. So what's the point of it?
I think a 'sorry my husband was a dick the other day' will suffice as an apology. Your colleague already thinks he's a dick anyway.

MrsJessePinkmann · 28/02/2023 11:16

Can you call her up before hand and clear the air before Thursday?

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/02/2023 11:21

DahliaMacNamara · 28/02/2023 11:14

I simply cannot get into the mindset of drivers who tailgate. I can sort of understand lots of behaviours I wouldn't engage in myself, but driving up the arse of someone slower, thereby putting yourself and other road users in unnecessary danger, is a complete puzzle to me. I feel no compulsion to comply with demands from inadequate bullies. I don't imagine many people do. So what's the point of it?
I think a 'sorry my husband was a dick the other day' will suffice as an apology. Your colleague already thinks he's a dick anyway.

This.

Tailgating makes accidents more likely (driver in front becomes anxious and can't concentrate properly; car at rear is too close; often both vehicles are travelling at unsafe speeds - only one from choice).

If something then happens - say you go round a bend and a vehicle is broken down in front of you, or some idiot steps into the road from behind a hedge - and the front car has to stop, then the one behind has no chance of not ploughing into them.

SolitudeNotLoneliness · 28/02/2023 11:31

Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07

I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating

The speed limit is that: a limit not a target.

If a car driving at 35mph in a 40mph zone "cause stress" for you and you feel they are "frustrating" then the issue here is with you, not the other driver.

A driver going slightly below the speed limit should nit be causing you to feel like this - such feelings may in turn cause you to be an unsafe driver.

newjobnewstartihope · 28/02/2023 11:46

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Maybebabyno2 · 28/02/2023 11:49

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100%

My favourite driving saying is 'better late than dead'. If someone is driving really slowly in front of me, I just keep my distance until safe to overtake. Same as if I'm passing a cyclist.

Mischance · 28/02/2023 13:49

Hellsmovie · 28/02/2023 10:02

It's safe to drive over limit in the right conditions.
The same as it's not safe to drive at the limit in the wrong conditions

Ah that's interesting - which other laws do you think it is OK to ignore? I can see you pick and choose those which you wish to obey..... theft maybe?

As long as people regard traffic laws as a sort of optional extra, then we will continue with the carnage.

SaturdayGiraffe · 28/02/2023 13:57

@JaimieP Did you suffer social anxiety before you met your husband?

DollyParton2 · 28/02/2023 14:01

People sitting 5mph continuously on a stretch of road also need to take responsibility for causing drivers behind them to get this agitated. It’s ridiculous. If you are so scared of driving you need to go significantly below the speed limit constantly you shouldn’t be driving.

Goldenbear · 28/02/2023 14:08

Overly confident drivers cause far more accidents!

ThreeLittleDots · 28/02/2023 14:13

People sitting 5mph continuously on a stretch of road also need to take responsibility for causing drivers behind them to get this agitated. It’s ridiculous. If you are so scared of driving you need to go significantly below the speed limit constantly you shouldn’t be driving

Doing 35 in a 40 isn't significantly below the speed limit, nor does it indicate a nervous driver.

The person behind getting agitated needs to learn to control themselves and get a life quite frankly. Pathetic.

Littleflowerseverywhere · 28/02/2023 14:15

What do you mean a bit of an argument and then you had to leave it. Why were you unable to read this absolute wanker the riot act?

id apologise for my husband to your colleague. That must have been terrifying for her, but unless it was very visible you were trying to stop it. Then I’d be ashamed more at myself

Littleflowerseverywhere · 28/02/2023 14:19

DollyParton2 · 28/02/2023 14:01

People sitting 5mph continuously on a stretch of road also need to take responsibility for causing drivers behind them to get this agitated. It’s ridiculous. If you are so scared of driving you need to go significantly below the speed limit constantly you shouldn’t be driving.

im assuming you do not drive? 40 is a max not a target. And 5 mph is no where near a min speed limit nor does it indicate a nervous driver.

too slow is generally considered about 10 mph. Not 5 under the speed limit and at 35. It’s a good speed. The clue is in rhe title. It’s a speed limit not a speed target.

StaunchMomma · 28/02/2023 14:21

Porridgealert · 28/02/2023 03:07

I hate slow drivers, too. Drive to the speed limit unless there is more than one lane to overtake. Slow drivers cause stress to other people and lead to accidents. They're very frustrating

Whether you like it or not, the speed limit is a LIMIT, a maximum, NOT the speed you are expected to drive at at all times. There are times when we drive slower than usual - eg when I'm taking my cat to the vets. I'm not making the poor sod skid around his cage on bends so the dick head behind me doesn't get their blood pressure up!

Clearly you haven't had a speeding ticket and done the shit course or you too would have had that drilled into your head by Barbara with the top tier shaming tactics and good biscuits that take the edge off.

PollyPut · 28/02/2023 14:26

@JaimieP apologise to the friend.

But a bigger problem lies ahead. I assume you don't have children, but if you do, would you feel safe if he drives them?

LlynTegid · 28/02/2023 14:43

Your DH should not have a licence. If you can hide the car keys or do anything to stop him driving, then do so. Definitely never get in a car with him again.

Would you let him carry a gun if you thought he could use it to harm someone?

Hellsmovie · 28/02/2023 14:48

Mischance · 28/02/2023 13:49

Ah that's interesting - which other laws do you think it is OK to ignore? I can see you pick and choose those which you wish to obey..... theft maybe?

As long as people regard traffic laws as a sort of optional extra, then we will continue with the carnage.

Theft and speeding arnt comparable .

One always had a victim the other nearly always doesnt

Hellsmovie · 28/02/2023 14:49

Hellsmovie · 28/02/2023 14:48

Theft and speeding arnt comparable .

One always had a victim the other nearly always doesnt

Has not had

Vegrocks · 28/02/2023 14:52

Hellsmovie · 28/02/2023 14:48

Theft and speeding arnt comparable .

One always had a victim the other nearly always doesnt

You’re an odd bod! 😂

i challenge you to say all this in RL to work colleagues (if you work?) and family / friends. Go on! 😂

Vegrocks · 28/02/2023 14:53

Unlikely anyone lose their life in a theft

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