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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex Offender

170 replies

Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:49

AIBU to be uncomfortable about an ex offender working in my garden?

Context - his offences involved children.
I have 2 young children but he would only ever be here when the children were not at home.

He’d never be allowed in the house.

I totally agree with rehabilitation generally and I know I’m probably being hypocritical. But I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
FishandChipsarelife · 27/02/2023 14:53

For me it would depend on what they had done, was it a driving offence for example? Burglary, sexual assault etc then no I really wouldnt be happy. Having said that I might not know normally.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2023 14:54

Context - his offences involved children.

Sexual offence?

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:55

FishandChipsarelife · 27/02/2023 14:53

For me it would depend on what they had done, was it a driving offence for example? Burglary, sexual assault etc then no I really wouldnt be happy. Having said that I might not know normally.

I don’t know the exact nature of the offence. I know it was sexually related to children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:55

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2023 14:54

Context - his offences involved children.

Sexual offence?

As far as I know yes. No more details though.

OP posts:
pawz · 27/02/2023 14:56

Why is he working in your garden? Is this by your choice? Is he working alone?

I'm all for rehabilitation but there's lots of unanswered questions tbh.

Hellocatshome · 27/02/2023 14:56

Secure offences involving children? Nope he would not be working in my garden. How do you know all this info though are they a relation?

Hoardasurass · 27/02/2023 14:56

No way would I knowingly hire anyone who had committed offences against children regardless of whether my children would be at home or not.

gallina · 27/02/2023 14:57

Not a chance. Not when it's sexual offences related to children. Get him as far away from your property as possible.

I'm all for rehabilitation, but those type - they'd be better off hanging.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2023 14:58

Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:55

As far as I know yes. No more details though.

Show quote history

Then absolutely not. To fuck with his "rehabilitation."

motherofkevinnotperry · 27/02/2023 14:58

Was he a child himself. What's the context of the convictions. How long ago etc etc. Far too many questions.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:58

Hellocatshome · 27/02/2023 14:56

Secure offences involving children? Nope he would not be working in my garden. How do you know all this info though are they a relation?

No not a relation. I live in a very small community and this person is being hired by a property manager.
He would never be alone, he’d be with someone else at all times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 14:59

motherofkevinnotperry · 27/02/2023 14:58

Was he a child himself. What's the context of the convictions. How long ago etc etc. Far too many questions.

Absolutely no idea. I’ve shared the extent of my information.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2023 14:59

He would never be alone, he’d be with someone else at all times.

Irrelevant. I would never allow him onto my property.

JaniceBattersby · 27/02/2023 15:00

I would be fine as long as he had no access to my children or my house. The best way for offenders to stay out of trouble is to put them to work and give them something to lose. It doesn’t always work but in 20 years of working in a court-adjacent role, I think it delivers good outcomes more times than it doesn’t.

Whiskeypowers · 27/02/2023 15:03

No way

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 15:04

JaniceBattersby · 27/02/2023 15:00

I would be fine as long as he had no access to my children or my house. The best way for offenders to stay out of trouble is to put them to work and give them something to lose. It doesn’t always work but in 20 years of working in a court-adjacent role, I think it delivers good outcomes more times than it doesn’t.

This is how I want to feel. But my instinct says absolutely not.

Then I feel like a NIMBY dickhead.

OP posts:
hulahoopqueen · 27/02/2023 15:05

I think I would say yes as long as there isn't any view into the house from the garden - thick curtains/blinds etc. Also I would be very very clear that, up to and including a sudden and desperate need for the toilet, the offender would never under any circumstances be permitted inside the house.

ifoundthebread · 27/02/2023 15:06

Based on the details youve given, its local gossip that has informed you of his convictions, so i assume you know his name? If so, google his name + your area and some times it returns a report of what they have been charged with.

Hellocatshome · 27/02/2023 15:06

There is plenty of employment he could get that doesn't involve children. Yes your children might not be home but has his employer thought about the properties he will be working at where children are at home?

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 15:08

ifoundthebread · 27/02/2023 15:06

Based on the details youve given, its local gossip that has informed you of his convictions, so i assume you know his name? If so, google his name + your area and some times it returns a report of what they have been charged with.

No not local gossip. Our property manager has used him before for jobs. I don’t know his name so can’t Google him unfortunately.

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 27/02/2023 15:10

If he has served his sentence (or is serving it) and is under proper supervision, of course he should be allowed to work.

Nagado · 27/02/2023 15:12

I don’t believe that the people who commit these sorts of crimes can be rehabilitated. There is no way on earth I’d have one of them working in my garden. It’s my home; I wouldn’t knowingly allow that in.

Rafferty10 · 27/02/2023 15:13

I would not have him on my land. end of.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2023 15:13

theDudesmummy · 27/02/2023 15:10

If he has served his sentence (or is serving it) and is under proper supervision, of course he should be allowed to work.

He can work at someone else's home. We all have the right to dictate who works on our property.

Sharpbridge · 27/02/2023 15:14

No way, I would not want this.

I would not want my home and my children on his radar. Even if he doesn’t meet them during the job, he’ll become familiar with the house access etc and the fact that there are young children there, and he’ll have an excuse to be in the area in future.

I’m all for rehabilitating people who do most crimes, but a sexual offender against children I don’t care about at all, he can starve to death for all I care.