Page 6 | Ex Offender

Sexnotgender · 2023-02-27T14:49:32+00:00

AIBU to be uncomfortable about an ex offender working in my garden? Context - his offences involved children. I have 2 young children but he would only ever be here when the children were not at home. He’d never be allowed in the house. I totally agree with rehabilitation generally and I know I’m probably being hypocritical. But I don’t know what to do.

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 19:52

JanusTheFirst · 27/02/2023 19:46

I think it's important that offenders are found work to aid rehabilitation but it should be chosen well.

You cannot ‘rehabilitate’ somebody who offends against children in this way. They are a lost cause.

waterrat · 27/02/2023 19:54

ONe of the problems here is that a sex offender who can't find work and is cast out of society is more likely to reoffend. I'm not saying I'd be happy about it - but it's a reality that in the end someone / some organisation/ some employer - could help by giving work to former sex offenders.

Frankola · 27/02/2023 19:56

I am a great believer of rehabilitation. I worked in the HMP service for a while and I have seen it work. However, I don't believe you can rehabilitate a person who is sexually attracted to children. It's like saying you can rehabilitate anyone of their sexual preferences. You can't.

If I were in your situation I'd tell the property manager you didn't want this person working at your house.

tenbob · 27/02/2023 19:56

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 19:51

He doesn’t deserve employment in any form. He deserves to be put in the sea surrounded by man eating sharks. Do not let this man near your life in any way.

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But in the complete absence of ‘eaten by sharks’ as an option, what do you suggest?

All evidence, and I believe there is tonnes of it, shows that employment and engagement with society is the number one way of preventing reoffending for all offenders

Its all well and good saying ‘they should be locked up forever’ but we don’t have that hypothetical option, so pick from the options we do have - further alienation and increasing the risk of reoffending, or closely managed employment and lower rates of reoffending

Turnipworkharder · 27/02/2023 19:57

As long as its completely true,then no way would a dirty child abuser be within breathing distance of me or my home.

Endlesssummer2022 · 27/02/2023 19:59

Not a chance. What if he were to see photos of the kids in their school uniform through the window? I’d not not take that kind of risk. Even having to say good morning to him or get him a drink of water would make my flesh crawl. I’d probably throw the glass away afterwards.

I don’t believe sex offenders can be rehabilitated, it’s a sickness which only castration, ankle monitor, no access to the internet and a permanent GPS tracker with a surveillance camera and alarm can solve.

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 19:59

tenbob · 27/02/2023 19:56

But in the complete absence of ‘eaten by sharks’ as an option, what do you suggest?

All evidence, and I believe there is tonnes of it, shows that employment and engagement with society is the number one way of preventing reoffending for all offenders

Its all well and good saying ‘they should be locked up forever’ but we don’t have that hypothetical option, so pick from the options we do have - further alienation and increasing the risk of reoffending, or closely managed employment and lower rates of reoffending

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We do have that option, but it would need to be implemented, and we should do it.

Errmmmmmmmmmmm · 27/02/2023 20:02

no way would i let him in my garden.

HRTQueen · 27/02/2023 20:04

waterrat · 27/02/2023 19:54

ONe of the problems here is that a sex offender who can't find work and is cast out of society is more likely to reoffend. I'm not saying I'd be happy about it - but it's a reality that in the end someone / some organisation/ some employer - could help by giving work to former sex offenders.

That is utter nonsense

They offend because they choose to offend and for no other reason.

CanofCant · 27/02/2023 20:06

waterrat · 27/02/2023 19:54

ONe of the problems here is that a sex offender who can't find work and is cast out of society is more likely to reoffend. I'm not saying I'd be happy about it - but it's a reality that in the end someone / some organisation/ some employer - could help by giving work to former sex offenders.

I see the reasoning here and I'm sure it is backed up with statistics but are they less likely to reoffend if their employment/life etc is going well? What about when something does go wrong like if often does in life?

I think reoffending is on the cards either way, it's just who they are.

Ludo19 · 27/02/2023 20:09

Nope not a chance. What happens if one of your children happens to be home, in-service day at school or off sick?

Lavender14 · 27/02/2023 20:11

I would be a nimby dickhead in this situation. Any other offence I'd work with but not that if it puts my address where my child lives on his radar.

tenbob · 27/02/2023 20:14

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 19:59

We do have that option, but it would need to be implemented, and we should do it.

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Great contribution, brilliant suggestion 🙄

GretnaGreenIsLovely · 27/02/2023 20:19

Sexnotgender · 27/02/2023 19:17

No not in a newspaper 🙄 on the uk and Ireland sex offender database.

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Oh I see. Thanks

Millpond123 · 27/02/2023 20:32

There is a lot of misconceptions on this thread about sexual crimes against minors. Being convicted of a sexual crime against minors does not mean that the person is a paedophile. Most people convicted of such crimes do not re offend as they deal with the reasons why they committed the offence and they are horrified when they realise what they've done. It's quite often due to addiction of some sort, usually porn and offences online only. There are lots of people on the sex offenders register who are not paedophiles and as long as they are not unsupervised around minors there is no reason why they should not be allowed to get on with their work. Everyone deserves a second chance and most are not bad people but got caught up in a situation.

I doubt the register you've found him on is factually correct. The official sex offenders register isn't actually a register and is definitely not available online for anyone to view. If you have concerns contact your local police.

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 20:35

It's quite often due to addiction of some sort, usually porn and offences online only

These are NOT victimless crimes
This makes me beyond angry!!!!

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 20:38

Plus it isn’t ‘porn’ it’s CHILD ABUSE IMAGES. Children cannot participate in ‘porn’ they are ABUSED.

Moonicorn · 27/02/2023 20:39

Can we all make a note of this please, and complain if you ever see it used in a newspaper or similar? There is no such thing as ‘porn’ with minors in it. They are CHILD ABUSE IMAGES, and need to be described as such. It’s really really important.

Millpond123 · 27/02/2023 20:47

I didn't say that child abuse images were porn. And I'm not saying they're innocent but there is a difference between someone who has downloaded images and someone who has committed contact offences against minors. It's not a victimless crime but calling everyone who has committed a sexual crime against minors a paedophile is incorrect. And porn addiction can lead to downloading child abuse images, either intentionally or not.

Whiskeypowers · 27/02/2023 20:50

theDudesmummy · 27/02/2023 15:10

If he has served his sentence (or is serving it) and is under proper supervision, of course he should be allowed to work.

good for you
I won’t knowingly be allowing a sex offender - and a child sex offender at that - to come and do a thing in my home or the gardens

Ginger1982 · 27/02/2023 20:55

Nope. Sex offenders are by their very nature sneaky and insidious. No way would I have one working in my garden where they could potentially see my child.

IWineAndDontDine · 27/02/2023 21:01

Nagado · 27/02/2023 15:12

I don’t believe that the people who commit these sorts of crimes can be rehabilitated. There is no way on earth I’d have one of them working in my garden. It’s my home; I wouldn’t knowingly allow that in.

I actually saw an interesting documentary where a guy (18 maybe) got addicted to porn and just kept looking for the next extreme thing, (gangbangs, then brutal sex etc etc) until eventually he ended up going to prison for watching child porn. Obviously that's still abhorrent, but it made me realise that it's not necessarily pedophiles (in the sense of someone who is sexually attracted to children) who always commit these crimes. Then I would argue these people are maybe able to be rehabilitated... food for thought at least

IWineAndDontDine · 27/02/2023 21:01

Sorry I correct myself it's child abuse videos. Child p*rn doesn't exist of course

Findyourneutralspace · 27/02/2023 21:07

I’d be surprised he was allowed to under the terms of his sexual harm prevention order or notification requirements.

But even if he was, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, no. And I am also in favour of rehabilitation.

CoedenNadoligLanOHyd · 27/02/2023 21:20

No I wouldn't allow this. If your children see him in the garden working, he is someone that they "know".

Children assume if someone is invited to their home, even to work, then they must be okay. They are not a stranger if they work at your house.

My children have been in social situations with people who have spent time in prison. But the risk of a man who is sexually attracted to children is not one I'd take. And this one is deemed high risk.