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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say something to my sister about the baby

282 replies

Zcity · 27/02/2023 08:22

She's gorgeous, 14 months old. She will shuffle on her bum to get around a little. She cannot crawl at all, or stand by herself, she has no inclination to move really, she's very happy just sat on a mat.

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things but I'm worried (as is our mum) as she said to me that baby should be crawling at least.

DM bought the subject up with her but she said she had been to the GP and GP said it's fine as she can stand unsupported- but thing is, she can't. She cannot stand by herself, if you gently pull her up so she's standing she will need to lean against something (sofa) and she only stays upright for seconds until her legs buckle.

Would you be concerned or am I overstepping as loving auntie and wind my neck in? All babies are different, which I understand! Maybe just a late walker? Hoping for reassurance!

OP posts:
MrNook · 27/02/2023 08:23

Totally overstepping, she'll be perfectly aware her DD might be delayed and the HV will pick up on it also and she's already taken her to the GP so she's already concerned, you stepping in to tell her her daughter is "behind" is going to make her feel rubbish

MrNook · 27/02/2023 08:25

DD didn't start cruising until 15 months and walked at 17 months, a friends DD has only just taken her first steps at 21 months

Original poster
Zcity · 27/02/2023 08:25

MrNook · 27/02/2023 08:23

Totally overstepping, she'll be perfectly aware her DD might be delayed and the HV will pick up on it also and she's already taken her to the GP so she's already concerned, you stepping in to tell her her daughter is "behind" is going to make her feel rubbish

Brilliant! Thank you. 😊

OP posts:
28January · 27/02/2023 08:26

Totally within the range of normal, all mine were late walkers and my life was a lot easier than some friends who had babies running around at 12 months.

Letstaketotheskies · 27/02/2023 08:27

What you’re describing is within the range of normal OP. Your sister is discussing it with her HV and gp so you don’t need to say anything. If there is a problem, it will be picked up. But probably she’s just a later walker.
Some babies skip crawling altogether and go straight from bum shuffling to cruising the furniture to walking.

whyhere · 27/02/2023 08:28

I didn't walk until after 18 months, and showed little interest in moving at all! My daughter stood at 6 months and walked by 8. We're all different, and this sounds in the range of 'normal'.

HappyintheHills · 27/02/2023 08:28

You would be overstepping- she’s checked with the professionals who have confirmed alls well.
i was a bum shuffler who decided to walk at 18 months.

willingtolearn · 27/02/2023 08:28

Totally within the bounds of normal development.

Has already been seen and reassured by a GP.

You are worrying mum unnecessarily - is this because you have particular experience - personal or professional?

If not, why are you sticking your oar in?

KateStev · 27/02/2023 08:28

It isn’t considered concerning to not be walking at 14 months. All babies are different and the NHS (in my professional experience) aren’t concerned about not walking before the age of 2.

There are medical issues that can effect standing etc (undiagnosed hip dysplasia, as an example) but child development needs to be considered ‘globally’ for the child, as a rule.

If your sister has seen a GP, I assume they will have done some rudimentary checks and aren’t concerned at the moment.

Your concern is well intended and obviously comes from a place of love but the most likely explanation is that there’s nothing wrong and the baby will walk when she’s ready so I would say nothing and also discourage speculation amongst other family members. Your sister isn’t likely to lean on you when she needs to if she feels judged/closely observed.

Original poster
Zcity · 27/02/2023 08:29

MrNook · 27/02/2023 08:25

DD didn't start cruising until 15 months and walked at 17 months, a friends DD has only just taken her first steps at 21 months

I'll tell our DM to not say anything at all too, she is bringing it up all the time with me and making me worry!!

Sis is an incredible mum, she's loving every second. We're all in a little bubble of the baby being the centre of our worlds a little, I know I'm biased but she's amazing :)

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 27/02/2023 08:29

Plenty of babies walk late or dont crawl at all. Keep your nose out of that one.

kindercup · 27/02/2023 08:30

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things

What on earth has possessed you to google developmental stages of a baby you don't have?

Is there some sort of huge backstory that means your sister is not equipped to be an adequate parent?

Also, it's normal.

Whatwouldyoudo24 · 27/02/2023 08:30

It’s hard to say, my friends daughter did not bother crawling at all and would bum shuffle around and didn’t even attempt to walk until over 2! She’s 5 now and running around like every other child her age.
But it could also be a sign of developmental delay.

14 months isn’t that old to not be walking realistically so I’d wait for a couple more months to see if crawling or walking happens and if it doesn’t then one of you (whoever you think she’d have a more relaxed, non-confrontational conversation with) have a sit down over a cup of tea and just explain that you love DN a lot and just wanted to touch base again about whether it was worth getting her checked over as early intervention is usually quite a long wait so it would be easier to get her on the list now and she could just call to cancel if she suddenly jumps forward and walks overnight (which most babies do!)

AndAllOurYesterdays · 27/02/2023 08:30

My bum shuffler didn't walk until 22months! Turns out she has mild hypermobility. She's totally fine now and very flexible.

kindercup · 27/02/2023 08:31

Sis is an incredible mum, she's loving every second. We're all in a little bubble of the baby being the centre of our worlds a little,

You all need to take a huge step back. She is your niece, not the centre of your world. That is reserved for mum and dad. I would find this overwhelming as a new parent.

LisaD1 · 27/02/2023 08:32

I’ve raised my own and was a childminder for many year, this is perfectly normal. I’ve minded a couple who went straight from shuffling to walking and completely bypassed the crawling. Sounds like you’re coming from a place of love but even that is not what your sis needs to be hearing now, she’s doing the right things and will have her own concerns, don’t add to those and spoil the good times :)

Original poster
Zcity · 27/02/2023 08:32

All the replies are so appreciated, this must be the shortest thread in MN history!

Thanks again to all and I'll tell DM to let it go. Knew I needed some experienced words of wisdom, feel so much better.

OP posts:
Eixample · 27/02/2023 08:34

Bum shuffling is a type of crawling. If you Google you’ll see there are several crawling styles. She’s fine and still with plenty of time to walk.
Good on you for asking elsewhere rather than bothering your sister though!

ShakinSteven · 27/02/2023 08:35

Completely overstepping. And over worried. My child bum shuffled until he was nearly 2. He has had no problems physically and was very early in learning to ride a bike, swim etc. This sounds mean but if you were my sister I would find you really difficult if you behaved like this. Step back a bit.

DurhamDurham · 27/02/2023 08:37

My yuh test went fro my not walking at all at fifteen months so running around all over the place at sixteen months so I don't think your sister needs to worry.
You and your mum will have to find something else to worry about.

KievsOutTheOven · 27/02/2023 08:41

DurhamDurham · 27/02/2023 08:37

My yuh test went fro my not walking at all at fifteen months so running around all over the place at sixteen months so I don't think your sister needs to worry.
You and your mum will have to find something else to worry about.

This is what my daughter did.

She bum shuffled; but not particularly well or often. She preferred to be quite sedentary.

At 15 months she randomly started walking - took her first steps and then just started walking everywhere straight away. None of that baby stumbly stage.

My son is a year old and didn’t start bum shuffling til 11 months. Not walking yet but cruises well.

They are all different.

Untitledsquatboulder · 27/02/2023 08:41

kindercup · 27/02/2023 08:30

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things

What on earth has possessed you to google developmental stages of a baby you don't have?

Is there some sort of huge backstory that means your sister is not equipped to be an adequate parent?

Also, it's normal.

Is there some huge backstory which means you can't hold off snarking til you've read the couple of quite short posts the OP has made? Cause the answer to your question is right there.

WhichPage · 27/02/2023 08:41

First grandchild for your mum?

Tell DM baby’s mum/ parents is/are fab and will have it covered. Tell her as grandma she can relax and concentrate on granny stuff.

fwiw I remember a friends child being the same till 18 months the he got up, cruised and walked over a single weekend.

itwasntmetho · 27/02/2023 08:42

It doesn’t take a village.

Clariana · 27/02/2023 08:42

My first born was still just sitting still at 15 months, I took him to the GP. GP gave me a sympathetic look and said "how many healthy 18 year olds do you see not walking? He will walk when he is ready", and he did, at about 19 months.

No issues at all after that and he is now in his 20s.