To say something to my sister about the baby

[Zcity]

She's gorgeous, 14 months old. She will shuffle on her bum to get around a little. She cannot crawl at all, or stand by herself, she has no inclination to move really, she's very happy just sat on a mat.

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things but I'm worried (as is our mum) as she said to me that baby should be crawling at least.

DM bought the subject up with her but she said she had been to the GP and GP said it's fine as she can stand unsupported- but thing is, she can't. She cannot stand by herself, if you gently pull her up so she's standing she will need to lean against something (sofa) and she only stays upright for seconds until her legs buckle.

Would you be concerned or am I overstepping as loving auntie and wind my neck in? All babies are different, which I understand! Maybe just a late walker? Hoping for reassurance!

Definitely don't say anything to your dsis.
My dh's brother didn't walk until he was almost 2.
Dh's granny (the mil) made horrible comments to dh's dm and she never forgot them.

Children develop at different rates because we're all individuals. If you or your mum want to support your niece/grandchild the best way is to get on the floor with them. Studies have shown that equipment that pins children to seats slows their ability to strengthen their core. Just enjoy the child before they're running about and you're needing to chase after them.

I'm so glad I did! We're very close and have a lot of mutual friends so I didn't want to risk asking them in case it got back to her that I'd been asking, love this forum. Thank goodness! 😊

Some babies do need a bit of help- mine had special boots, then plastic splints. She had overall low tone due to additional needs.

She was fine though, just needed support around the feet and ankles till she was older and stronger. She was under 2 when it was picked up

I’m not sure what you think you can do over and above the GP.

She may just be a placid little soul who's content to enjoy where she is.

My eldest was a misery guts who got bored easily and was desperate to be up and about, raiding cupboards.

Enjoy her as she is.

I know you acknowledge you've had helpful responses already but just another little anecdote. My eldest is 4, bum shuffled at 11 months, never crawled, walked at 16 months. And when I say walked, it was confident walking from the get go, like another poster said, none of that stumbly falling down stuff. My second is 16 months and so far cruising happily but definitely not close to walking. He started doing a movement that was a mixture of crawling and bum shuffling at 12 months, learnt to crawl 'properly' at 13 months which became his preferred method but has always done both, he often bum shuffles on hard flooring as it's more comfortable. As hes not even anywhere close to walking I did speak to my HV but she said they wouldn't be concerned until hes not walking at 17 or 18 months so shes said she will call me around then to check in. I don't think he will be walking by then tbh but I also don't think that means theres anything 'wrong' necessarily as he is mobile and making progress.

DS never crawled - he was a bum shuffler. That’s why crawling being a milestone is nonsense as not every child crawls.

At 16 months, he started walking. He didn’t even take slow first steps - just stood up and started walking a few meters out of no where.

Every child develops differently. Too soon to be worried at 14 months.

Also, kindly, every mum worries about her child. Nothing worse than people throwing in their two pence and adding to those worries.

She’s fine!!

My dd didn’t move until 13 months and then she bum shuffled. She never pulled herself up, or cruised and the health visitor did show some concern but was happy to leave it at my insistence.

Then, one day, 18 months old to the day, she suddenly stood up and walked across the room. Then never stopped.

The GP and HV are both involved, so there's really no reason for you and your mum to panic.

I was worried about some elements of my DGD's development, but that was because, due to lockdown, she wasn't seen by anyone. She had no face to face development checks or doctors appointments at all from six weeks to 2.5 years old. So I allowed myself to worry. But your niece is in the system, so if there was anything to be concerned about it'd be picked up.

IME you get walkers and talkers, is she ahead with her talking and/or fine motor skills/social skills? Definitely something to watch and wait at this stage but nothing to panic about.

My son was like this. Showed no interest in walking until about 20 months. Didn't even crawl, just shuffled around on his bottom. I always felt like he just couldn't be bothered. He loved being carried. He's now 10,absolutely fine and normal developmentally.

You would be overstepping. Your sister will be perfectly aware of what is the norm, and what the ranges are, she doesn’t need you to tell her. Some babies don’t crawl at all. Weirdly my friend had 2 that didn’t, they both bum shuffled in the same way. Babies all do things at different rates, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. Your niece will walk when she’s ready.

She was concerned. Nothing wrong with educating yourself.

Why do you have to be unkind ?

Enough, OP asked in good faith, we responded.
If you’re going to just be nasty, fuck off!

My friends daughter bumshuffled until she was 19 months. Your sisters daughter is completely fine and will walk when she is ready, There is nothing wrong with her.

This. Apparently I was 18 months before I showed any inclination to learn to walk.

@Zcity Well done for taking the replies on board

you're not 'overstepping' it's your sister/niece, but as you can see, you are over worrying!

my advice?! Enjoy this stage, it's lovely. All the playing & cuddles, none of the hovering & chasing!!

it is very common for bum shufflers to be late walkers - my little one bum shuffled til 15 months and then just got up one day and walked. No first steps or cruising holding onto things, she went straight from nothing to walking right across the room!

I am a little surprised to everyone saying its normal not to stand, crawl or walk unaided at 14
months. Is it? This is not my experience or that of babies I have seen. I don't know any babies who didn't stand at least at that age. It might be that the baby does need some support to develop. Does she do tummy time etc? Can she sit unaided? What is her fine motor skills like? Can she pick up small objects with her thumb and pointy finger? Did she have her 8month check with the healthvisitor? Does she give eye contact? Does she understand when being spoken to? Ie listens to her name? If you ask her where the lamp is does she point at it? Does she know her nose, eyes etc if you ask her to point?

Ok - I can help with this with my memories of my dd:-

Bottom shuffler
Didn’t crawl until about 16 months
Aged 17 months and 2 weeks - stood for the first time
Aged 17 months, 2 weeks and 3 days - first steps
Aged 17 months 3 weeks and 3 days - was walking competently - over 20 steps at a time.
Age 12 years - won the national championship for her age in a sport

I spent a lot of time when dd was a baby / toddler worrying about her physical development. I have replaced that hobby with our new hobby of “driving hundreds of miles at a weekend so she can compete”.

My DD crawled for the first time at 14 months and still couldn't sit up reliably (always needed something behind her in case she fell).

Turns out she is very hypermobile / hypotonic - once they prescribed special boots to support her ankles she got the hang of walking very quickly, running around by 19 months.

It's still within the range of normal, and she's got the HV involved which is good, and might be the start of interventions.

Op mum who is a parent has repeatedly said she is concerned. Op doesn't have a point of reference so she did some research to see if it was concerning. That sounds perfectly normal.

I think you are misunderstanding the difference between “normal” and “average”. The average 14 month can stand. But it is normal to not stand at 14 months. And as my own experience shows - it isn’t even indicative that a child won’t become excellent in the future at things involving gross motor skills.

Bottom shufflers are often late walkers. My theory for this is that you can carry your toys with you when you bottom shuffle. You can’t if you crawl so you look for an alternative.

As others have said still in normal range. Just to add hv will do a two year review that will cover motor skills so if still not walking that would get flagged there.