To say something to my sister about the baby

[Zcity]

She's gorgeous, 14 months old. She will shuffle on her bum to get around a little. She cannot crawl at all, or stand by herself, she has no inclination to move really, she's very happy just sat on a mat.

I do not have children and Google tells me very different things but I'm worried (as is our mum) as she said to me that baby should be crawling at least.

DM bought the subject up with her but she said she had been to the GP and GP said it's fine as she can stand unsupported- but thing is, she can't. She cannot stand by herself, if you gently pull her up so she's standing she will need to lean against something (sofa) and she only stays upright for seconds until her legs buckle.

Would you be concerned or am I overstepping as loving auntie and wind my neck in? All babies are different, which I understand! Maybe just a late walker? Hoping for reassurance!

I was reading in a baby book yesterday that bum shuffling can actually be a more effective way to travel about so if they get into that they don’t bother getting in to crawling, so I wouldn’t be concerned at all. My niece bum shuffled then wait straight to basically rubbing instead of walking around 18 months so I wouldn’t worry.

and in general, you best believe the mum is constantly googling what’s normal for her own baby etc, it really wouldn’t be helpful to have your comments!

Went straight to running** sorry!

YABU.

My daughter didn't stand until 15 months, never crawled, ripped holes in all her leggings due to bum shuffling and finally walked at 22 months.

At 7 years old she is a really fast runner and good dancer!

Bum shuffling is actually more sensible than crawling as you then have your hands free to explore so I would argue she is perhaps more advanced!

One of mine was the same at this age. Was just starting to get really worried as the other had been an early walker. Then out of nowhere he started walking! No crawling, shuffling or cruising, he went from rolling on the floor to walking (unsteadily at first of course) they're all different, I wouldn't worry at this stage 🤷

Hi OP, ignore the comments that are being harsh to you, I've no idea why ppl are so quick to rudeness. it's clear you are a loving auntie. From a FTM perspective with a daughter of a similar age, I am VERY emotional and sensitive to worry so if anyone says anything about her that might be a concern it blows up x100 in my head, so my advice would defo be not to dwell on it with your sister, it's definitely normal not to be up and about at that age, but I can tell your concern comes from love. Your niece has a great aunty x

My middle DS didn’t stand or walk unaided until 21-25 months old. Absolutely nothing wrong with him, he just was and still is a lazy boy!

Not only normal but preferable to have a non-mobile baby for as long as possible! Early crawlers are a menace. What’s not normal is being so overinvested in your niece’s development you’re googling milestones – it sounds like this is driven by your mum, but I would respond by dialling things down, not googling.

Bottom shuffles don't need to crawl, as bottom shuffling is more effective, easier to have hands free.

I remember learning on a childminding course that the average for walking was 14 months, but for bottom shufflers, the average was 18 months. Start to worry at 20 months plus. Don't say anything.

Please don’t say anything. Totally normal, and bum shufflers normally go straight to walking (later than crawlers). As an aside, if dsis is already speaking to GP about this, what would you achieve by adding your concern? (I mean that in a nice way!)

DD was a very happy contented baby. Never really bothered with crawling just sat and smiled a lot. Occasional bum shuffle. Occasional cruise around the furniture. Happy to hold onto hands and walk short distances at around 17 months. Just got up and ran at around 19 months. Never looked back.

After watching other parents with far more active babies I'm very happy mine was so calm. Made parenting just that tiny bit less exhausting

Say nothing. One of mine was walking at just over 11 months, but could roll over. My first DC didn't bother to pull himself up until nearly 1 and didn't walk until about 15 months. They're all different and this is in the realms of normal

You sound absolutely lovely! I’m glad you all adore this baby.

If it makes you feel better my eldest child was a bum shuffler - didn’t walk til they were over 20 months. My GP said (light heartedly) bum shuffling is a sign of huge intelligence 😂😂 the child can hold items in their hands whilst going at speed. Sure enough they are super bright at 19 and went from not walking at all to able to take a proper walk with adults when they finally could be bothered to do it. Still lazy from time to time but what can you do 😉

4 children here and not one walked before 18 months.

All very sporty now.

They were bum shufflers too.

My friends gorgeous son walked at 9 months and she ended up putting a soft spongey rugby hat thing on him that someone kindly gave her, as he was constantly running faster than his balance would allow and was black and blue from falling.

So stressful to watch, she was demented from him.

My son was on his arse for months fascinated by his buddy speeding around the place.😁

I didn't envy her at the time, it was so stressful...he also had an unbelievable vocab at 2 years and could argue a point cogently....terrifyingly advanced....again my son had a few words at the same age.
🤷🏻‍♀️.

They are all different.

Stay well and truly out of it.

It will NOT end well for you.

Do NOT underestimate how deeply offensive any suggestion from you might be.

Do NOT expect her to EVER forget.

Keep your unasked for opinions to yourself unless you don't care about souring the relationship, perhaps permanently.

This is really why people shouldn’t ask for advice on MN as there is such a lack of knowledge and understanding of what developmental milestones are important and why.
crawling isn’t just about travelling it’s a key milestone for brain development, coordination and core, arm and leg stability.

You are a very sweet sister and aunt to be so worried and I'm glad the wisdom of mn has calmed your fears. In the olden days when I had dc, we called babies like this 'lazy' but actually this is just a contented baby who is happy at this stage.

Avoid google and comparisons to other children.

Very true!

Dd was late to walk, early to talk.

Ds was early to walk and late to talk.

Just re-read your first post.
Actually I’d be concerned that the GP doesn’t have the right information. But the last thing your sister needs is your mum going on and on about it.

Both of my Ds were nearly 18 months before they walked. Both Dd we're around 12 months. It's just different variations.

I love that answer!

It's up there with "the last place they'll want to be when their 16, is in your bed" when moaning about LO crawing into bed in the middle of the night.

I disagree with the majority of the posters here. It might or might not be normal. If it’s not, early intervention can make a world of difference later on. It is very difficult to say something gently, but I would.

The GP discussion would be reassuring but for the fact the GP told her “it’s ok because she can stand unsupported” and she can’t.

Overstepping , as 14months is too young. A bit older maybe worth a gentle word. As a mum who suffered with a lot of anxiety about my son, and google led me down a black hole, please don’t add to any anxiety unless it’s really necessary. It ruined my first year of my babies

The thing is, even if there is a problem it will be picked up by HV checks. And the GP will not do anything at this stage. My DD can't walk or stand at 20mo. She's having blood tests today and physio soon, she has a neurologist that's sees her every 3 months now. But GPs would not refer before 18 months, even with obvious physical issues she already had. Just enjoy watching her grow!

Much like others my DD went from bum shuffling to walking at around 18 months. At three years old she now WONT SIT STILL 🤣 DS 9 months has been crawling for 6 weeks and pulling himself up. All babies are really so different.

Sounds like your sis has it all under control so just continue loving on your sweet niece and don't worry....she will do it when she is good and ready!

For context here.
My mum and her friend were constantly comparing grandchildren.
Friends grandchildren, same age as my kids, could walk 2-3 months earlier than mine, crawled earlier than mine, “rolled over” earlier than mine. You name it. When my kids did something, theirs did it 3 months ago, juggled when doing it.
My daughter is now a doctor and my son works in the city earning £££££. Near enough millionaire by age 35.
One of the friends grandchildren is a hairdresser other is a bin man. Nothing wrong with that. My parents were a shop worker and plumber.
just saying.