To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

I know a woman who had burlesque style photos taken and had a huge one put up above the fireplace in her living room. It was awful. The elephant in the room.

Please don't post your pics on SM. People won't hold back and you might not want to hear what they say.

Never thought I'd say this but I think the pictures have given you too much confidence. I agree with a previous suggestion, sit on them for a month or so and then see if you still want to post the.

Female empowerment isn’t about getting your clothes off though? It should be the opposite no? Not having to resort to your body / appearance to gain validation or value.

If you want to post pics in your knickers on socials then do it, you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval but I would have a real honest look at why you want to. I can only think of one reason - so that people can appreciate / admire your body and how good you look. It’s a totally valid reason and nothing to be ashamed of, most people want to be thought of as attractive - however it goes against the premise of finding self worth, because self worth is NOT based on external validation.

Post the pics if you like but be honest enough to say you want people to realise how attractive / good you look in your undies. There’s literally no other reason to post them that I can think of?

Oh please don't. Remember people scroll Facebook at lunchtime at work.

I had a friend that did this and never closed a screen quicker!

It's good you are confident but these are for you, and a few select others. Not Carol you met at sewing club or Jim you used to work with

You don’t understand that this woman volunteering up images of herself in underwear posing in a sexual way, tasteful or not, is capitulating to the idea of the male gaze? Who is going to be most interested in images of women like this? Heterosexual men. Why? Because it’s sexually arousing for them. These are pics of a woman offering herself up as a sexual object in a society where women are sexually objectified every day. It reinforces the idea that to be worthy women must be f*able, which is so entrenched that the OP thinks getting ‘likes’ online for these pics will be empowering.

I wouldn’t care if one of my employees did this.

See I wouldn’t care either, but I’ve spent 10 years of working in an industry where something like this is norm

My social following IS made up of people expecting such content, I have a alias, whereas most folks isn’t, and Auntie Jane or Colin from Finance won’t be keen 😂

You'll never be able to unpost them.

Oh Lord please don't.

You're not listening to any of the posters over all 5 pages saying don't, bar the 2 who've said yes.... The idea is just grim.

Bikini on a beach or by the pool (but not that dreadful legs and toes by the pool thing ) yes, but for the love of God not boudoir or burlesque 😵‍💫

I vaguely know a woman who posted up photos like this a while ago.

One night, I was sat in a pub with a group of people. Her ex-boyfriend was there.

Him & his mates were having a laugh about the photos and cracking jokes like “fair play to photographer - she doesn’t look like that in real life!”, and “I might go back there if she really looked like that!”

Sad all round.

And why do you think she has over 2m followers? She 's wank fodder for many many people!

2 MILLION? ! 😵

So have I (and for more than twenty years), but the OP isn't doing this because it's her job.

On one hand she's claiming it's for self esteem and 'empowerment', and on the other she's determined to try and get validation from other people by making them public when there is no reason to, since she can look at them for a self esteem boost any time she likes.

Post whatever you want on your own social media. Ignore the miserable cow bags on here. Mumsnet is so fucking bitchy.

What’s bitchy about saying don’t post semi naked pics of yourself on SM?

Assuming OP is a heterosexual woman, she might want men to find her arousing, no? Isn’t that the point? If it’s not, my bad.

But it’s a bit performative to not do something you want to do because you think it somehow gets one over on men 🤔

I wouldn’t do this and would strongly advise any female friend/daughter not to. There is a whole industry built upon the lie that woman need to take their clothes off or wear so called sexy clothes to be attractive, do not fall for this myth!
You do not need the meaningless likes on social media to improve your self esteem.

Few men do this stuff, how many boudoir shots do you think are bought by men?

Think about why?
You are a worthwhile person without this action. Focus on valuing your whole self - good luck.

@Junglejane8
Be proud of who you are op, all the best

Try reading a book on feminism and come back to me. If you don’t understand the male gaze, it’s impact on women and how women internalise that then I’m not wasting my time explaining it you now sorry.

Aye, it seems to be for the male gaze an awful lot.

I’m another NO DONT DO IT…it’s not at all empowering.

And the men in pants quote.. I wish female pop singers could wear trousers or skirts…always in their pants!!! You never see male pop stars in their knickers on stage, it’s completely embarrassing for them ( Jlo, Kylie and Danni, Rita Ora etc)

The only people I’m content to see in their pants are the ones who live in my house. I suspect I’m not alone in this.

I think your work on self esteem has gone a bit wrong somewhere if you’re getting your worth from how sexy you look. That’s a poor way to grow your sense of self worth. It will fade anyway as you grow older! Concentrate on the things you can do, know and learn. These are the things that give you power. It takes very little to be attractive to men - having a pulse and being female are often all that’s needed - so they are poor indicators of a woman’s worth and power.

I think some feminist reading might be more helpful to you in your search for growth.

I have a friend that does these kind of photo shoots and women love them. It depends on your confit level @Junglejane8 - me I’d love them but I’m self employed and lots of customers are in my socials. So I’d share but to a limited audience (on Facebook) of friends/family who would be supportive. My 82 year old neighbour and my folks don’t need to see it.

too each their own.

stop worrying so much about what others think. Live your life to standards that make you happy. Instead of worrying so much about others perceptions.

fuck em. ;) x

just crop it into a headshot

OP, what exactly is so empowering about a) doing a boudoir/burlesque style photoshoot and b) posting the results on your social media?

Professional photographs are highly flattering - one should never under-estimate how much so. What is captured is not real, it's smoke and mirrors.

As an aside, I'm an escort and wouldn't dream of posting any images like this on my non-escorting social media, nor do I use such images in my escorting life either. (In fact, such is my concern about my pictures ending up somewhere I do not want them to, there are barely any pictures of me on my own website and even then they are password protected).

TL:DR Don't post the pictures on social media. Work on your self-esteem.