To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

For me, female empowerment is about feeling powerful without having to take my clothes off. That's the literal opposite because it's about satisfying the male gaze.

I don't think I would be able to think of any of my colleagues in quite the same way if I'd seen them sprawled over a bed in their pants. It would be a big no from my employer.
A huge amount of your friends would find it so cringy and your kids will be mortified.

I’m not really sure how any lingerie photos are empowerment, no matter how tasteful. Keep them to yourself, they’re not for social media.

IMO not a good idea for many reasons, but that's just me.

Truthfully I have no desire to see any of my friends in their underwear! If you feel it's something you want to do then do it, but be prepared that you may not get the reaction you are looking for, which may hurt especially if your self esteem is fragile

I'm talking about people politely ignoring it rather than anything nasty, but if you are looking for loads of 'wow you look amazing' comments it may not happen as people may find it a little odd

Exactly. When I think of ‘empowered’ women - say Michelle Obama, The late Queen, Angela Merkel, JKR, the Head of the IMF etc. would any of them enhance their status by putting a boudoir shot on their social media? Maybe someone like Beyoncé yes. But otherwise absolutely not, it would be an instant credibility loss and embarrassment.

How many tasteful pictures have you seen of your boss, dad, brother in their pants

Quite. Female empowerment, my arse. Or your arse.

Agreed

@JackieDaws thank you for this. That's what I mean. There are lots of women who inspire me for various reasons (not related to them listing bikini pictures), but I don't think any less of them if they do. I just am in awe of their power and confidence.

It’s a no from me. Attention seeking and desperate.

It's not empowering at all. And you would be putting yourself out there for potential abuse. Agree with PP: if you need this to boost your self esteem, ask yourself why your worth relies on validation of your body by others.

Tacky and cheap. Don't do it.

Please don't OP. It's so cringey. Posting pics like that no matter how 'tasteful' they are - especially if you've never posted pics like it before just screams "look at me, look at me. Like and comment!" It's not empowering at all. It's tacky and tasteless and if I had a friend share pics like that I'd be silently criticising and eye rolling behind my screen wondering WTF is wrong with you and assuming your confidence must be so low that you felt the need to share them so you could feel validated by other people's comments

You need to do a lot of work on why you place so much language like power and confidence on people’s bodies.

liberal feminism is not true feminism

I post mine as it's part of (one of) my jobs
On IG I post with a place holder pic first so you actually have to swipe across to see them, then people can choose to look or not
I have my manager on social media and he isn't bothered at all

I think that it’s fantastic that you feel happy with your photos. What I would question is how sharing lingerie photos is any more ‘empowering’ than what you’ve already done, and why.

I’ve taken burlesque, pole and striptease classes and I’ve never shared the photos or videos from them online. To my mind, once you start posting those things publicly as part of the process of developing confidence you then actively seek external validation / approval etc from others. You look great and feel great, but why do you feel it would increase your esteem further to get others to feed back on that with comments?

I genuinely think that our happiest, most confident selves are the ones that genuinely don’t give two hoots if other people are impressed, approve, sneer or laugh. So, I’d resist the temptation. Once they are posted, you can’t undo it, Or, just use a head shot as a profile picture and turn comments off.

Cringe.

Low self esteem, screams needing validation. One negative comment and your new found fragile confidence would be shattered in an instant and it’s the only comment that you’ll pay attention to. Guaranteed.

What’s empowering about subjecting yourself to the gaze? Changing the discourse about females and their bodies doesn’t mean posting burlesque style pics on a saturated social media platform of vanity.

Well if you thought “You do you” then just “you do you” and do what you like and don’t ask randoms on MN, then complain when the answer isn’t what you want.

Someone I used to work with did this and everyone else who worked with her thought it was really inappropriate to put it on social media, where customers could and did see it. Some of them definitely found it distasteful. And just weird really.

What sort of age are you, OP?

Your posts make me realise that we are about as far away from achieving gender equality as we have ever been.

It’s desperately sad.

OP, I totally get what you mean, you feel hot and you want others to see that too. Bold suggestion if people are saying it would feel weird to see their friend do it, would you consider posting them anonymously on Reddit or something? You could crop out or cover your face if you felt more comfortable.

You probably would get a bunch of creeps messaging you, but you’d probably get w lot of nice compliments too. It’s nice to feel like someone is appreciating your looks sometimes, there’s nothing unfeminist about it.

No
These kind of photo shoots are always cringe

I've seen a few friends do this and the response has always been overwhelmingly positive in a 'you go, girl!' kind of way. If you feel good in them then go for it! Personally if I see pics like this I think its brill. I put a bikini pic on once and the response from my female friends was great and I was glad I'd posted it!

You've got the confidence boosting photos, why ruin that moment by putting them up online for either a relative to cringe over or a random guy to wank over?

I can't imagine why they would be considered empowering.

What am I missing?

I'm glad they made you feel fabulous but if it all goes wrong, what then? Keep them for you and show them to trusted friends and family