To post lingerie shots on my social media..

[Junglejane8]

Right here me out here..
Long term lacking in body confidence. Have never felt very beautiful or feminine. I've been working on my self-esteem recently and a friend who is a photographer treated me to a burlesque shoot. She said it would be a very empowering thing to do, and it was. I actually felt sexy and beautiful and powerful.
The pictures have come through and I'm so happy with them. I want to post them on my social media but am worried that it will come off as vain, desperate, attention seeking etc.
There is lots of crap on social media but then I think of some of the women I follow who post lingerie / swimwear images and I don't judge them at all. I think they are beautiful and confident. I want to do that too.
Or is it vacuous and shameful?

@Junglejane8 “They are very tasteful, not like page 3 / porny. I only ask as thinking about women's empowerment / freedom / rights why should we be defined and judged our careers for our own choices about our bodies..”

And yet there you go, straight in there yourself with words like “page 3 / porny”.
I’ve seen a fair few people post boudoir shots on Facebook. They are always porny.

“Tell me you lack confidence in your body and have never felt beautiful without telling me you lack confidence in your body and have never felt beautiful”

If you post those photos on your social media, you are telling everyone you know that this is your weak spot, this is where you have never felt confident.

@TheGoogleMum yes it would be on Instagram

It’s not a feminist action to put your boudoir pics online. As to whether an employer would disapprove or not, who knows. But the reality is if they search you online, which they will, they will see this and like it or not they will make their own judgement about how they think of you based at least partially on that. Why bring provocative pics in to someone’s impression of you?

Sorry, I meant to type “burlesque” not “boudoir”.

Personally I wouldn't. I can't think of a single person living who I would enjoy seeing burlesque pictures of, and certainly don't want them thrust onto my Facebook feed from some former colleague or high school acquaintance. I really like it when people I'm friends with keep their clothes on. Keep Facebook for holiday snaps, pictures of cats/babies snd funny memes.

It's great you enjoyed the photo shoot, and you're happy with the results.

But, honestly, please don't fall into the trap of thinking that sharing them is in any way tied up with empowerment of women.

If I was no longer a close friend to you and you posted lingerie shots on social media then I would judge and unfriend you.

If we were closer friends then I'd probably think you were attention seeking and a bit desperate but I'd let it slide as it would obviously be down to low self esteem.

Working on your self confidence surely means you don't need other people to see the hot photos of you?
If you put them up you'll be waiting for likes and comments and appreciation from others and you'll feel bad if it's less than you would like.
Keep them for you! Put one up in your bedroom if you want but I personally would absolutely not share them widely.

This isn’t a criticism of you OP but I genuinely question this idea that underwear shots are empowering. I get the body positivity angle but doesn’t it just reduce women to objects?

It's neither vacuous nor shameful. It's just that lingerie is private, isn't it? Not for general consumption. You feel great, so get some shots taken where you look happy and confident, but clothed!

I wouldn't, i totally understand the self esteem thing , i feel for you and im glad you love your pictures but you don't need 'likes 'to be validated . There will be some nasty bitches on there guaranteed

Empowering is looking at a photo of yourself on an ordinary day and not being self critical, just accepting how to look - without needing a costume and a makeover and professional lighting to like it. It’s not easy… but it’s the better aim.

@Nimblesandbimbles yes. I've always wanted to hide away and felt gross. I don't normally even wear swimwear to the beach. I'm so scared, I've always covered up.
Taking my clothes off and accepting myself for who I am and embracing myself was a huge step for me. Pictures or non.

They are very tasteful, not like page 3 / porny. I only ask as thinking about women's empowerment / freedom / rights why should we be defined and judged our careers for our own choices about our bodies.
I honestly don’t get how boudoir shots increase womens empowerment or freedom.
you may look great and think you are fantastic. That is wonderful but don’t kid yourself that you have become empowered.
Enjoy the pics for what they are,a nice moment in time when you looked amazing.

The photographs are for you. Sharing them on social media is the absolute opposite of female empowerment. Empowerment is about who you are, it's your attitude, your achievements and your goals; it isn't what you look like in lacy underwear.

This. I'm glad you think you look good OP but I would hate to be reduced to be an object of (generally male) gaze. However 'classy' those kind of shots are, they are almost inevitably playing into the male fantasy about what a woman should look like even if you don't think they are overtly doing so.

Have you thought about the negative comments you may receive ? It mind actually be counter effective tbh. Remember social media can bring out the worst in people at times and those people tend to love the fact that they can hide behind the screen. I would think about it properly.

I'm a teacher so it would be a no for me!!

The problem with SM is that if you are friends, or an acquaintance, the photos pop up unsolicited.

I think it’s a bit intrusive to put photos of yourself scantily dressed in boudoir style poses out there. You say you never felt confident before, well it’s great that you do now but what about friends who are still in the place you were? Struggling with post-natal or menopausal podge, feeling lumpen and plain, only to see you minxing it up?

The two times I’ve seen friends undressed online it’s been for really inspirational reasons, showing themselves looking confident with stoma bags or post mastectomy, things traditionally kept hidden that people shouldn’t have to hide. Not just to share how hot they are.

Having a book made of them that you can enjoy is a great idea.

I have children old enough to be on social media so even if I looked like Gisele, I wouldn't do it.

no I wouldn’t. Why would you? Plus employers etc will look at your social media accounts.

The photographs are for you. Sharing them on social media is the absolute opposite of female empowerment. Empowerment is about who you are, it's your attitude, your achievements and your goals; it isn't what you look like in lacy underwear.

This ^

I wouldn't send my teenage daughter to look at a pictures of a woman in lingerie if she needs female empowerment. Actions like these are actually reversing the progression society has made in removing the sexual connotation of women. I think I look great in lingerie but it isn't what makes me feel empowered tbh!

I’m so sorry to hear you have felt this way OP & like I say my point wasn’t a direct criticism of you. I’m glad the shots have made you feel confident & good about yourself. I see a lot of young women on insta sharing underwear pics & I suppose it just sometimes makes me feel sad- like it’s meant to be empowering but it is again reducing women to be being judged on appearance.

I'd do it. One of my friends is a civil servant and she posts photos and videos of herself in lingerie and bikinis. Not one person has said anything to her at work, and she has over 2 million followers.