To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

Completely incorrect as it happens. I claimed benefits as a single parent for a bit over 40 years ago though and I still bought my kid “just because” presents then.

@Rainallnight, my mum would sometimes get me a present outside birthday/Christmas and I remember these times so clearly and fondly. I was always so, so grateful, so it won't necessarily spoil her!

I don't think buying gifts outside birthday and Christmas is spoiling. Spoiling is letting the child always have everything they want with no thought of anyone else.
Having s treat for no reason is one of life"s pleasures for adults and children.
If you can afford it and want to buy it,. Buy it then buy it.

I'm disabled so can only work so much but I still work I still pay all my bills

They can have toys outside of birthdays and Christmas that they buy with their pocket money

Buy the doll. There are some weird ideas on here! Really, come on, it's not spoiling to buy them toys for NO reason.

Our relationship is great we have fun we spend a lot of time together playing, baking, watching films , playing board games, art and crafts, reading they are 9 and 3

Privileges should be earned.
Do you never treat yourself or any adults in your life just because you can?
If everything always has to be earned or for a reason it sounds a very joyless life.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

All of us are using are own childhood experiences to raise our dc.
Most people sort of sleep walk through it eg I had a mountain of presents on Xmas morning so should dc, didn't harm me. Or I had the whittling tool and made myself a recorder out of a carrot... Didn't harm me.

I think we all need to pause and think.
Our dc are already having totally different childhoods compared with what we had. They're are their own people on their own journey. They all have different skills, different needs to what we do.

We should all step back and think about the good and bad from our own experiences and remember our dc are not us.

My own two dc are chalk and cheese.

One is carefully with money and saves. The other is impulsive and generous.

They have both needed different strategies and will as life goes on. In fact whilst I've set both up with a sipp (self invested personal pension) it's really for the impulsive one!!

Haven't read all the posts, but yes, buy it for her OP. Presents are expected at Christmas and birthdays. But an unexpected present is wonderful. No reason needed, no need to 'earn' it.

There are ways to teach children to earn things that don't set you up in an authoritarian or adversarial role. Help them save up, give them extra chores that pay a small amount. Pop an extra 50p in the pot just because. Teach them the reward of saving and delayed gratification. Not everything has to be a grind and especially not when you are 6.

I vote just get it, no need to earn it or invent a reason. You’re only a kid who wants toys for a few years of your life :)

How much is the doll. I would look at the cost and set her a chores list. If she tidies her room she gets £x towards the doll. If she hoovers and dusts she gets £x and so on.

My son was tee a new headset for his games console so he had to clean his room, hoover, dust, help put shopping away and feed the dog for a week.

He got the headset, I got a little extra me time and we felt like we showed him he has to work for the things he would like the same as we do.

Buy her the doll!

*wanted

But strictly only with items they received for Christmas and birthday… correct?

No they buy their own stuff with pocket money they've saved that they earn doing chores

But you don't get paid for chores when you're an adult. They are part of life and things you do to create a clean and welcoming home. Never seen why children should be paid to do them, they should just do them as part of the household.

She’s 6, you can afford it. Life’s too short. A Rainbow Doll won’t spoil your little girl.

But you don't get paid for chores when you're an adult. They are part of life and things you do to create a clean and welcoming home. Never seen why children should be paid to do them, they should just do them as part of the household.

Which is why I said 'extra chores'.

I pay mine for chores purely because its the only way they can earn money. They don't have the option to get a job. Plus it's only certain chores they are paid for things like tidying up after themselves is expected and not something I would give money for

Ok, but j just call that 'mucking in'. I don't think children should earn money from household chores at all but I know a lot of people do. I just personally don't agree with it.

Which one did you buy, OP?

Ok. I don't think children, particularly young children, should 'earn' money.

And that's OK everyone parents different