To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

what was your childhood like and your relationship like with your parents now?

No your parenting is absolutely fine. Accusing some random poster of being on benefits and sponging off the state because she thinks it’s nice to buy presents and be generous is miserable. What are you so grumpy about? The thread had a happy ending but you just want a bun fight, go get a cuppa and chill out.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 17/02/2023 14:07
I earn less then 12k a year but im on benefits so live quite comfortably

I didn't/ don't buy toys all year round.

You are jumping to quite an extreme there!. Buying a doll isn't spiling all year around??

Occasionally I let them choker things in charity shops or if I saw something great I would buy it cheap and give.
. Noting regukar at a.

That was @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy talking about her being in-receipt of benefits on another thread last week

I was sa and ended up in care. I had nothing this is why I teach my kids the importance of financial responsibility because its the only way to truly have freedom

Glad you're buying it. I never buy for good behaviour round a shop or from days out so there is never an expectation of getting stuff.

So I would buy the doll. We buy ourselves stuff all the time so sometimes ita nice to do it for your kid without them having to save or earn it.

Exactly that. And I buy people I love gifts because I see something and know they’d like it.

I’m not surprised this was your childhood

I am surprised though your scathing comment re benefits when you are in receipt of benefits

I am on pip so I'm not bashing anyone on benefits but I work to nothing is given to me

I always buy my kids what they want, they haven't grown up spoilt or horrible, I can take them shopping and they won't ask for anything just for the sake of it, and they appreciate everything they have. They know I work hard to give them what I can, and they help around the house and do their homework keep their bedrooms tidy etc.
so yes I would buy the doll 😌

@Fukuraptor good post I agree.

Be spontaneous buy it

Get the the doll. Life is short, she is precious and you love her.
This isn't what spoils a child to me...

I would find a reason too so that in her mind rather than simply got what she asked for when she asked, I’m struggling to stick to that myself but it definitely helps!

ha was just coming on to post the same. I rarely agree with @RosesAndHellebores but fully agree with her post.

Children shouldn’t have to earn gifts or prove their worth to get a once off gift.

One of the joys of parenting is surprising your children and expressing your love for them with one of gifts every now and then, it’s not spoiling them.

This thread highlights how some over think parenting.

I’m sorry you had a difficult childhood but absent an abusive home there’s a balance between giving children everything they want and teaching them to work for everything.

I can’t understand why you wouldn’t buy the doll. I would buy it without hesitation. And just give it to her to make her happy.

So your children can’t have any toys outside of birthdays or choir ants to teach them the importance of freedom via financial responsibility while you claim benefits to supplement your low 12k earnings? How does that one work?

@Forestfire12345... Agree.

Spoilt children to me are those who act out because they are suffering in some way.
Not because their parent has a one off spontaneous spend!!

There is a balance.
I also don't think having a reasonable pile of presents on Xmas day could spoil a child when they are raised 365 days a year.

We show our dc our income and out goings.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

I had the opposite childhood to you

very happy, very loving, very financially comfortable and very much bought toys throughout the year

I am now a financially independent professional single mother. Very sorted financially.

My kids know that sometimes they get stuff and sometimes they don't. They recognise that money isn't limitless but we use it to make our life nicer. We don't have an arbitrary set of rules about work and behaviour being linked to gifts. I don't see what's so bloody difficult about just being relaxed about it.

What you don't earn your money you get everything for free. So in other words your on benefits great 👍 I would rather my kids learn you have to work for stuff

You 10 mins ago assuming the poster was on benefits getting everything for free - bashing. You were not even correct as far as we no.

Easter gift?
although TBH as a one off it's hardly going to turn her into spooled brat overnight.
Are there siblings in the mix that you need to consider?

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

what is your relationship like with your children? How old are they?

Thankyou and I agree I just don't want my kids to ever be reliant on anybody. I know their only kids at the moment but there is post after post on this site of women who have to stay in abusive relationships as they are financially reliant on someone else. I just want my kids to understand the importance of being able to support themselves