To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

It is hard to relax self imposed rules but buy the doll, life is short and if you can bring joy just do it , it’ll be brilliant

I would find a reason e.g good parents evening, did well on a spelling test, etc whatever suits. Or let her earn pocket money towards it. We buy our kids things but use the reasons above to do it so it’s not really spoiling or for the sake of it, it’s a reward for something. And we do say no to things as well so it’s balanced. Saving up for things will teach her about money far better than never having anything.

I don't worry about spoiling and my 19 and 16 year old certainly aren't. They both have part time jobs around studying, and they will often treat me to a little something (I was bought a purse from my eldest first wage as a surprise and I treasure it) it's about balance and one doll won't spoil her.
My girls love it when I get them a treat and genuinely appreciate it and have learnt to reciprocate

I'd get the doll and wouldn't couch it in her being "deserving" in some way by virtue of some reason report card/swimming certificate/chores/kindness as some people have suggested.

I think that's more likely to discourage intrinsic motivation and either increase entitlement (well I was kind this week too where's my doll!) or a sense of shame (that they don't deserve it at other times).

It's okay to enjoy our children and just give them a gift of something they'd truely appreciate simply for the pleasure of giving.

Model generosity.

How many DCs have you got?

I don’t think it’s fair to buy one something and not the others if it’s not something you usually do.

However, I’m glad you ended up buying it.

I too don’t like buying expensive things for my DD when it’s not an occasion but at that age they don’t understand money.

I love coming home with a little random present and my DD probably appreciates it more than the ones she’s gets on her birthday.

I’ll always remember when my mum brought me a present really randomly.
It would have only cost a couple of pounds max but I remember everything about it, even though I was only about 4 or 5.

Honestly buying it with the simple reason she’s doing super well at school and being a lovely friend. I give my teens a bit of pocket money weekly but even now top them up a bit extra when they do something good at school or do something really lovely. Doesn’t make them spoilt and it puts a smile on their faces. Childhood is very short and you’ll regret not seeing the smile when you get the doll.

Buy her the doll as an (early) Easter present. My kids get a present and a choccie egg instead of too much (over-priced) Easter egg choc.

Buy her the doll. When I was a kid we got toys all year long. They were usually under $50 or so and i dd isn’t turn out spoiled, if anything I enjoy spoiling others 😂

My dd got toys all year long as well, one year my DM bought her a mini motorcycle that was around $300. which would’ve been better for a Xmas/bday gift but her bday is in Jan and it was March and we didn’t want her to have to wait 8/9 months to get it. She is now 26 and the least materialistic /spoiled person I know.

She's six, and you can cover the cost, I'd buy the doll

Because I want my kids to learn you have to work for things. Nothing in life is free

But at Six it's not likely to be a good lesson for them yes If they are older

Because I want my kids to learn you have to work for things. Nothing in life is free

You can't see it but this is a hang up, not a healthy way to teach a 6 year old a value.

Exactly this and then one Easter it will be - can I have a PlayStation 5 for Easter.....

Easter is about family, and a chocolate egg, don't make it about money and gifts, because you can't undo that once you start.

Give it as an Easter gift. Better than too many eggs.

So happy that you have bought it for her. Our daughter has been very spoiled in some peoples eyes because we could afford to do so. However she has been brought up to respect other people, appreciate what she has and understand there are many others less fortunate. IMHO it’s what you teach your child about life, not what you buy them.

This is why pocket money from a young age is so important. It would give her the freedom to buy things she wants, and also teaches that when the money's gone, it's gone. Ours have had to save for stuff, but we do sometimes lend them a bit of money or go halves on something. They need to spend it all and 'waste' it, in order to learn the value of it. We have also made them pay for breakages or stuff they've lost and need to replace, and I have found it makes them much more understanding and appreciative. In this instance, I think I might give her some money for a reward, and then she can buy what she wants with it. This could be the doll! Then maybe start a weekly pocket money (£1 a week we gave at that age). We also give them household jobs such as cleaning all the skirting boards, if they want to earn some money to save for something.

Ffs just get her the doll. Little trip to Argos and she can choose which one from the catalogue.

Don't do her out of an Easter egg because of it. They're a couple of quid.

Sorry. I see you've got it. Also get her an Easter egg 😆

Presents are always “free”. What a miserable existence it is to think everything carries a price tag. Generosity is one of the loveliest of human traits and meanness one of the least attractive. I very rarely agree with @RosesAndHellebores but in this instance she’s spot on.

Not a miserable existence just the reality of life

It’s not the reality of my life.

What you don't earn your money you get everything for free. So in other words your on benefits great 👍 I would rather my kids learn you have to work for stuff

It probably means she has someone in her life who buys her gifts just because it’s nice to do so. Not every body is as bloody miserable as you. Really no need for benefit bashing here, the mum bought the kid the doll, drama over.

So because I choose to parent differently to you that makes me bloody miserable are you always this judgemental

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy have you heard the saying 'knows the price of everything and the value of nothing'?

Learning generosity and expressions of love/kindness are important lessons. I pity your kids.