The stupid takeaway.

[Gworlie]

My OH has been away for a week and came back today. He turned up this evening with a Chinese takeaway for himself. Didn't even say he was getting one or asked if I wanted one. I've worked all week and done all childcare, which is fine, but when I said "well that's a bit shitty, I'm knackered and hungry too" his response was "well cook something then". I'm raging but he's acting like I'm being crazy.

He didn’t really work more hours
than you the last week though, you did everything at home with no help amd he was away with evenings to himself ? Seriously why do his washing? It just cements his opinion that you are worth less and should do the drudge work. He can do a load of washing.

You’re not alone, OP. We all think he’s a spiteful, selfish cunt, too.

I'm so glad to see you won't be cooking or doing his washing op.

If he asks where his washing or tea is 'we'll wash/cook something then'

I'm raging on your behalf

How many more hours, out of interest?

@HungryandIknowit I know it sounds ridiculous from my post that I was doubting myself but it was so weird and I was so angry and he was looking at me like I'd lost the plot I needed this to tell me that nope I'm right.

@Codlingmoths he'll unpack it Sunday I think and shove all his washing into the washing machine but not turn it on.

@AlmostaMamma I work 31 hours a week and he works 42 hours a week.

Neither would I cook for him again, the absolute cheek, brass neck and just general bastardness o it

Make sure ya leave the suitcase there for him to do his noon washing, if he doesn't think like a family man when getting food why would he expect you to act like a family woman 🤔 😏 🤣

Don't doubt yourself! Don't do anything for him until he apologises. If he leaves his washing in the machine take it out (unwashed) when you need to use it. It may not be mature but that's the approach I would take

So you take it back out the washer and leave it on the floor.

It is not your job to do his fucking washing!!!

I’ve never unpacked for DH in 15 years, because he’s a bloody grown up!

My dh did something similar once, made himself lunch and not me.. so I stopped cooking him dinner for a week and he never did it again

@Kisskiss did you just act normal during the day or did you make it clear you were pissed off? Like he's going to act like nothing happened tomorrow but I'm fuming still. Sorry I need a how to 😂

I wouldn’t be giving him the fight he seems to be pushing for.

I would just be quietly ignoring his wants. Whether it be washing, food or anything else.

Gosh, late to the thread but, what a tosspot!!! You should absolutely only cook for yourself this weekend and DO NOT do his laundry. Sorry, not nice to be treated like this💐

@ArcaneWireless it does feel like he wants a fight for some reason. He won't actually ask for me to cook or do his washing, he'll wait for me to concede.

OP I totally get your rage, on a different note my DP and I once had a huge argument about household chores (I do 99.999%) of them and I’d asked for help during the holidays, anyway, during the course of the argument he told me that I am “obsessed” with food and meals and planning. Tbh what I did was ask people what they wanted to eat in that week whilst meal planning. DP told me that he preferred things to happen more “organically” without the pre planned eating, which is fine if you’re just a couple but we are a family with 6 children - planning is a necessity!!. The RAGE that ensued in me was titanic and I must say that I was so proud of myself not to knee jerk with a reaction in the moment however I let my annoyance show the very next day and for the the following week. I took such delight in doing no cooking and when he enquired where dinner was I just said “oh I’ve eaten and I’ve fed the kids, there’s food in the fridge just help yourself”. There never was an apology but I have to say that a worm turned in me that day and meals have never been quite the same, I don’t provide veggie meals and I cook a lot more fish (which he hates!). The rage is real!

he'll unpack it Sunday I think and shove all his washing into the washing machine but not turn it on.

It would then find its way back into the suitcase. Or would be washed with a red sock.

@Cantdoitallperfectly that's exactly it!!! So you were obviously annoyed the next day and the following week? Because I know he's just going to act fine and I'm shite at resisting the you're a fucking prick don't talk to me.

I’ve only read Ops responses.
To be honest I would always have a meal ready for when DH or DS come home after a long trip. As they would me ( well DH). Travelling is hungry work.
Was he not expecting something would be ready?
If you normally do your own thing in these circumstances I think it’s ok he gets a takeaway and saves the faff and washing up.

What a dick! What was his order that he couldn't even give you some? Id of been raging.

he Knew I was mad when I pointed out I cook practically all his dinners and he hadn’t even bothered to ask me if I also would like a bacon sandwich 😡
I don’t think you need to act mad, just cook yourself dinner and you can explain why if he asks .. like training a badly behaved puppy 😂

Then you take it all out of the machine. And ignore the mess. I cannot believe there are grown adults who think turning the washing machine on is beneath them and that kind of thing is what the woman who is less of a person really should do. this man of yours gives me the rage. He doesn’t earn all the income, what does he actually do at home aside from create work for you??

Tell him. Tell him it’s unacceptable and tell him why. No hints, no passive aggression. Articulate what the issue is. You say he ‘doesn’t get it’, but it’s not a complicated or ambiguous situation. Unless he’s phenomenally stupid, it’s impossible that he doesn’t get it. So, say what you need to say.

You’re allowed to be angry about this. You’re allowed to express said anger.

Im actually sad for you though OP. I dont think that come tomorrow you have it in you to be as rude as he and just order for you. I think you will relent and order for him too and I am just sad for that. I wouldnt be able to order for one either even if he did this to me to be honest though.

So you do more work than him once you add in the shared work of house and children that he leaves to you because he’s too special. Stop selling yourself short!