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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The stupid takeaway.

464 replies

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:30

My OH has been away for a week and came back today. He turned up this evening with a Chinese takeaway for himself. Didn't even say he was getting one or asked if I wanted one. I've worked all week and done all childcare, which is fine, but when I said "well that's a bit shitty, I'm knackered and hungry too" his response was "well cook something then". I'm raging but he's acting like I'm being crazy.

OP posts:
Redebs · 24/02/2023 21:27

Poor guy.

After sitting all that time on the train...

he forgot he has a wife and family at home 🤣

bonzaitree · 24/02/2023 21:28

TrishM80 · 24/02/2023 21:13

Nothing gets mn users more agitated than threads about the husband only getting a takeaway for himself!

BECAUSE ITS AN ACT OF WAR

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:28

I would wait till Sunday morning and go and get a mcdonalds breakfast for you and the kids. In fact I would wake up early and wait until he was just up and ask him to have the kids whilst you nip out for 5 mins.

I'd come back with a steaming hot coffee and a filthy hot breakfast and give the kids pancakes. Enjoy yourself - point him to the cereal cupboard.

There could be no more brutal punishment.

worried4698643 · 24/02/2023 21:28

That is unbelievably selfish.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 24/02/2023 21:29

Stop cooking for him, cook for yourself and children before he gets home. Thus making him eat takeaway every night and when he is fat and still pathetic leave him to live your best life.
seriously being treated like that is not a relationship I would continue. You have 2 choices talk it through about what proper relationships are and work towards that or leave him.

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:30

Or buy a pack of bacon, throw away some of it and again on Sunday morning, cook only the amount you need for the perfect bacon butty, with none for him to make himself one. Ideally cooked just when you think he'd normally wake up.

I'm actually making myself hungry for breakfast now.

Mumalli · 24/02/2023 21:30

Honestly would never cook for him again. Petty or not.

pictoosh · 24/02/2023 21:30

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:28

I would wait till Sunday morning and go and get a mcdonalds breakfast for you and the kids. In fact I would wake up early and wait until he was just up and ask him to have the kids whilst you nip out for 5 mins.

I'd come back with a steaming hot coffee and a filthy hot breakfast and give the kids pancakes. Enjoy yourself - point him to the cereal cupboard.

There could be no more brutal punishment.

This made me laugh a lot.

TheRookie · 24/02/2023 21:32

If he behaves this badly over a takeaway, I imagine he doesn't behave any better in any more serious situations. C#+t.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 24/02/2023 21:33

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:28

I would wait till Sunday morning and go and get a mcdonalds breakfast for you and the kids. In fact I would wake up early and wait until he was just up and ask him to have the kids whilst you nip out for 5 mins.

I'd come back with a steaming hot coffee and a filthy hot breakfast and give the kids pancakes. Enjoy yourself - point him to the cereal cupboard.

There could be no more brutal punishment.

Especially if you time it so you are back and he sees it right before breakfast ends so he can't get one.

newtb · 24/02/2023 21:33

Show him this thread?

Original poster
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:33

@Blort that made me laugh loads too hahaha. I'm so glad I posted this in my super angry and upset state actually thinking people would say well he's tired and hungry and been travelling all day just make yourself something to eat. He won't ask me to do cooking or dinner but he'll look at me horrified if I just cook myself dinner tomorrow. I might go out for dinner instead.

OP posts:
Ketchupwee · 24/02/2023 21:34

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:12

@Cinnamo Chinese is my favourite takeaway 😩

See, it's mine too, which is why I'm taking it personally on your behalf. It would be less annoying if it's something you aren't fussed about (but still inconsiderate)

Original poster
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:34

*washing or dinner

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 24/02/2023 21:35

sorry op, that’s really selfish behaviour. What a crap ending to the week. If he can’t understand what he’s done wrong, I’d be very concerned.

bonzaitree · 24/02/2023 21:37

OP tomorrow night you and the kids need to go out and eat somewhere expensive and delicious. He is not invited

Original poster
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:38

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:30

Or buy a pack of bacon, throw away some of it and again on Sunday morning, cook only the amount you need for the perfect bacon butty, with none for him to make himself one. Ideally cooked just when you think he'd normally wake up.

I'm actually making myself hungry for breakfast now.

This made me laugh too. So many ideas. But no cooking or washing. Just act really nonchalant about it as he won't say "what you're only cooking your dinner/doing your washing"?

OP posts:
Ketchupwee · 24/02/2023 21:38

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:28

I would wait till Sunday morning and go and get a mcdonalds breakfast for you and the kids. In fact I would wake up early and wait until he was just up and ask him to have the kids whilst you nip out for 5 mins.

I'd come back with a steaming hot coffee and a filthy hot breakfast and give the kids pancakes. Enjoy yourself - point him to the cereal cupboard.

There could be no more brutal punishment.

But it depends on whether he falls into the 'McDs breakfast are awesome' or (like me) 'don't come near me with that vile swill'. If he falls into the second category he'll be very happy that she doesn't bring him some

Original poster
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:41

@Xmasbaby11 thank you. Honestly I felt like I was losing the plot at his refusal to accept that he'd done anything wrong and that I was being completely irrational. Horrid feeling. But I feel a million times better now.

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 24/02/2023 21:41

Well isnt he a charming man !
For this evening I would cook myself something quick and easy and let him think he had 'won'
Then tomorrow order a takeaway to be delivered for you ONLY .
He can cook for himself and the DCs

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/02/2023 21:42

LisaD1 · 24/02/2023 21:16

I just cannot imagine a scenario where either one of us thought that was ok. We would always offer the other, even if one of us gets up for a drink we ask if the other wants anything whilst we are up.

id be absolutely raging!

Exactly!

"I'm having a cuppa/ Do you want one?"

I'm having a gin, do you want one?"

I'm having a sandwich/ bag of crisps/ biscuit/ whatever. Do you want one?"

Common courtesy and consideration.

piedbeauty · 24/02/2023 21:44

God, what a selfish twit. Ask him if his dad would have done the same to his mum.

BanningTheWordNaice · 24/02/2023 21:46

I lived with my ex for a time after we broke up and neither of us ordered takeaway without asking if the other wanted some 😂

Original poster
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 21:46

@Ketchupwee I was thinking the same and then thinking go for something he loves but then that's too obvious 😂

OP posts:
girlfriend44 · 24/02/2023 21:47

Blort · 24/02/2023 21:28

I would wait till Sunday morning and go and get a mcdonalds breakfast for you and the kids. In fact I would wake up early and wait until he was just up and ask him to have the kids whilst you nip out for 5 mins.

I'd come back with a steaming hot coffee and a filthy hot breakfast and give the kids pancakes. Enjoy yourself - point him to the cereal cupboard.

There could be no more brutal punishment.

Why don't people grow up and also stop wasting all their money on crappy takeaways.