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AIBU?

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Original poster

The stupid takeaway.

464 replies

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:30

My OH has been away for a week and came back today. He turned up this evening with a Chinese takeaway for himself. Didn't even say he was getting one or asked if I wanted one. I've worked all week and done all childcare, which is fine, but when I said "well that's a bit shitty, I'm knackered and hungry too" his response was "well cook something then". I'm raging but he's acting like I'm being crazy.

OP posts:
KevinsChilli · 25/02/2023 00:01

Ugh this would put me off op. My OH was away with work and he was getting takeaway on way home. It takes 10 seconds to send a quick text to ask if you want anything

IDontWantToBeAPie · 25/02/2023 00:09

Leave his washing and when he asks about it look at him like he's crazy and say 'wash some clothes then'

Dibbydoos · 25/02/2023 00:10

What a tw@t.
I don't get how partners are selfish AHs. Honestly do you love him? He does not live you.

Lookingoutside · 25/02/2023 00:11

He’s an arsehole. He doesn’t like you and is going out of his way to be cruel and to upset you.

Leave him and let him fume to himself. Nasty little prick.

Dibbydoos · 25/02/2023 00:11

Dibbydoos · 25/02/2023 00:10

What a tw@t.
I don't get how partners are selfish AHs. Honestly do you love him? He does not live you.

Love not live

user1492757084 · 25/02/2023 00:13

I'd have assumed and reacted like he was not buying just for himself....
"Thanks Sweetie, pop that in the oven until the extra vegies are stir fried. That will really enhance our dinner. Thanks for thinking of us, maybe next time buy more."
or
"Wow, look kids, Dad has bought you Chinese! Yum yum, come and get it before it gets cold. What a treat, he really missed you this week."
or
"That was thoughtful of you. I am so tired and we will really enjoy that entree of Chinese before dinner. It will take the grumps out of the kids. Thanks Hon."

It is often a tense time when reuniting after a break - it shouldn't be but there is tiredness, kids excited with returning parents etc. Calm the farm. When kids are safely in bed explain that you were hurt that husband did not remmeber to treat you all to take away.

letthemalldoone · 25/02/2023 00:41

Selfish fucker - tell him did he not stop to think you all had a mouth on you??

I'd be raging - though it has happened here but not often - but it's just totally inconsiderate and I'd be delighted to hear that he choked on it!!

letthemalldoone · 25/02/2023 00:42

And don't dare do his washing!!!

7eleven · 25/02/2023 00:45

I think decent, generally good spouses are allowed to very occasionally drop the ball.

Yes, I can completely see why you’re pissed off, but see how the land lies tomorrow.

JackiePlace · 25/02/2023 01:11

I think you should let it go. You said he's not normally like this. Perhaps he thought you would already have dinner preparations in hand. Whatever.. just let it go. Life's too short!

CuriousMama · 25/02/2023 01:13

Did you do his washing?

DimplesToadfoot · 25/02/2023 01:38

Tonight (Saturday) I'd be buying Chinese takeaway for you and the kids, when he asks Where's his? I'd reply "Oh sorry darling I didn't think you'd want Chinese as you had takeaway last night, you can go and cook yourself something" without looking up from my plate.

AlwaysLatte · 25/02/2023 01:55

That's very selfish. My DH would definitely have phoned first to see if I wanted anything.

Deathraystare · 25/02/2023 01:57

See this is why I thank fuck I am single. Every time I read about a totally selfish price I would imagine them getting buried in my non existant cellar! The bodies would be piled high!

Even if thought you had already eaten he could check as you may have fancied a banana fritter or whatever!!

Deathraystare · 25/02/2023 01:59

Sorry my phone insists on writing price when I meant something that rhymes with brick!

Blueink · 25/02/2023 02:14

So glad ur leaving the suitcase where it stands, I wouldn’t even mention it, just move on. He’s been off on a jolly, no reason he can’t do his own washing, seems he takes your work in the home for granted (and order yourself a take away as a treat when the mood next takes you).

TheCatterall · 25/02/2023 02:52

I can’t imagine behaving like that. If I’m off to the chaps and getting something for myself or popping into the shops I always ask him if he wants something or just pick something for him. No way would I turn up with something just for me and a ‘fuck you hen’ attitude. Nope.

please note I have been known to eat a chocolate bar or packet of crisps in the car without home knowing like a not so sneaky teenager. He doesn’t like snack food… 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Gworlie your chaps behaviour was basically an invitation for all our psychological home based warfare. Boil wash his white tees with something bright pink or red. Start adding tanning drops to any moisturiser he uses. Just a little.

start taking his underwear in by 5mm every week. and trousers, shirts and T-shirts once or twice a month.

trim his belt length and make an extra eye so he thinks he’s gained weight…

start feeding him really lentilly meals to make him bloated and windy.

Hawkins003 · 25/02/2023 03:07

I can understand your perspectives and frustration op

FunnyWorldWeLiveIn · 25/02/2023 03:09

Yes Omg 😱 so bad on him,

SeatonCarew · 25/02/2023 03:14

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:59

@DramaLlama20 oh god doormat?? Yeah he messaged saying he was on his way home, I asked if he wanted me to get him from the train station and he replied saying he'd get a cab. That was it.

This together with the selfish behaviour just rings a bell with me. Are you absolutely sure he was on that train OP? 🤔

SeatonCarew · 25/02/2023 03:16

TheCatterall · 25/02/2023 02:52

I can’t imagine behaving like that. If I’m off to the chaps and getting something for myself or popping into the shops I always ask him if he wants something or just pick something for him. No way would I turn up with something just for me and a ‘fuck you hen’ attitude. Nope.

please note I have been known to eat a chocolate bar or packet of crisps in the car without home knowing like a not so sneaky teenager. He doesn’t like snack food… 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Gworlie your chaps behaviour was basically an invitation for all our psychological home based warfare. Boil wash his white tees with something bright pink or red. Start adding tanning drops to any moisturiser he uses. Just a little.

start taking his underwear in by 5mm every week. and trousers, shirts and T-shirts once or twice a month.

trim his belt length and make an extra eye so he thinks he’s gained weight…

start feeding him really lentilly meals to make him bloated and windy.

This is evil genius.

StarsSand · 25/02/2023 03:40

Gaslighting prick.

Obviously he's been rude and selfish. He's twice the bastard for trying to make you feel like you are overreacting.

Take yourself out for Chinese tomorrow. Leave him with the children and piles of laundry.

DesertRose64 · 25/02/2023 04:17

He emotionally detached himself from home and family life when away and him only thinking of his own dinner is proof that even when coming home he was still in single guy mode.

Id be watching to see if there are anymore attitude changes over the next few weeks.

Bogeyes · 25/02/2023 04:46

Has he always been a selfish twat? I would not cook for him in future. Tight bastard.

StarsSand · 25/02/2023 05:13

DesertRose64 · 25/02/2023 04:17

He emotionally detached himself from home and family life when away and him only thinking of his own dinner is proof that even when coming home he was still in single guy mode.

Id be watching to see if there are anymore attitude changes over the next few weeks.

Yeah I think this explains only buying himself dinner.

But it doesn't explain him trying to fool OP into thinking what he's done is perfectly reasonable and she's being ridiculous to have an issue with it.