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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That having sent photos to potential date ..

133 replies

shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:22

That he would comment on them?
Or at least say something??

I'm new to this dating game and did not post photos on my profile.

I got chatting to a man .. we're both 50... and we arranged a date for this weekend.
We've continued to exchanged messages and getting on as well as one can via WhatsApp since, but he hasn't acknowledged me sending them.

What are your thoughts on this?

OP posts:
Sugaspunsista · 24/02/2023 09:23

How long ago did you send them? Do you know for sure that he has seen them?

DramaLlama20 · 24/02/2023 09:23

Your OP makes no sense. Do you mean you sent him photos on WhatsApp and now he's ignored you? I'd say he's not interested, block and move on. Put some photos on your dating profile so they know what they're getting before hand to stop this happening again.

Banjaxx · 24/02/2023 09:24

What sort of photos did you send him? 😉

Original poster
shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:25

Just normal photos! Nothing explicit !

I sent them , he has seen them and we
Continued to WhatsApp for the evening afterwards .

OP posts:
EmmaDilemma5 · 24/02/2023 09:26

What comments were you hoping for? You look nice? Nice eyebrows? You're beautiful?

It's awkward. Just wait until you meet, if he's still wanting to meet then he must be interested. He probably just doesn't know what to say to not sounds creepy

Whataretheodds · 24/02/2023 09:27

Did you comment on his photos?

Original poster
shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:28

No I didn't but by virtue of the fact that I swiped him would have made it obvious that I found his photos attractive, but I see your point.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 24/02/2023 09:31

If I were him in this scenario, I really wouldn’t know what to say, “you look nice” sounds a bit daft?

5128gap · 24/02/2023 09:31

If he agreed to a date without a clue what you looked like, perhaps appearance isn't important to him, hence he felt no need to comment.

SnarkyBag · 24/02/2023 09:35

Did he ask for photo’s?
to be honest surely any comment on your personal appearance would be a bit cringy and not that genuine because it wouldn’t be a spontaneous compliment.

SnarkyBag · 24/02/2023 09:36

By virtue of the fact he kept messaging after the photos then it’s obvious he thought you were attractive enough to continue meeting?

OutDamnedSpot · 24/02/2023 09:36

Missing the point completely, but you have a dating profile without photos? Why?

Original poster
shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:36

I suppose.
This is all new to me so I'm just trying to figure out what the norm is

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 24/02/2023 09:37

shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:28

No I didn't but by virtue of the fact that I swiped him would have made it obvious that I found his photos attractive, but I see your point.

You underestimate how many folk just swipe everyone.

newwings · 24/02/2023 09:39

Maybe he is reluctant to comment until he sees the real you? Too many people use ancient photos or filtered etc.

thatsahardno · 24/02/2023 09:40

This is not the point at all, but don’t you think it’s strange that he swiped right on your profile in the first place, even with no photos? Or do lots of people do that? I’d be worried that he literally swipes right on everyone 😬

Luoisa · 24/02/2023 09:40

Did he ask for photos? And this was the first time he had seen you when you sent them? That feels off to me why he didn't comment!

Luoisa · 24/02/2023 09:41

It also feels off why he's swiped on your profile when it had no pics on!

MaireadMcSweeney · 24/02/2023 09:41

If he's still chatting he must have liked your photos but how on earth are you online dating without having photos? Surely you realise this runs the massive risk of wasting your own time and hurting your own feelings when you have chatted to a guy for a while, send him photos and he decides you aren't for him? Nobody dates like this!

Theyresexpeoplemn · 24/02/2023 09:44

I'd be concerned he initially swiped on you with no photos up.

BreviloquentBastard · 24/02/2023 09:45

Luoisa · 24/02/2023 09:41

It also feels off why he's swiped on your profile when it had no pics on!

Having spoken to my male friends about online dating, they get significantly fewer matches than women do typically so tend to just swipe on absolutely everyone in hopes of getting a match and going from there.

OP I do think you should upload some pictures to your profile, it's very odd not to on online dating!

derbylass81 · 24/02/2023 09:45

Aprilx · 24/02/2023 09:31

If I were him in this scenario, I really wouldn’t know what to say, “you look nice” sounds a bit daft?

Yes, he maybe just doesn't know what to say. If he's a nice guy he will be wary of sounding pervy / creepy.

Original poster
shyjenny · 24/02/2023 09:46

He said he doesn't swipe on anonymous profiles except that we were in such close proximity to one another.
I know loads of people who remain anonymous for many reasons... ex partners, work, kids reasons etc.
Not many people I know ever display photos of themselves in their profiles .
Maybe it's an age thing?
He didn't ask specifically but after we arranged a date he jokingly said that he wouldn't even know who I was as I hadn't shared photos.
I had forgotten until then that I hadn't!

I don't feel insecure about my appearance and certainly wouldn't be hurt if he said that I wasn't his type. I totally understand that.
It just felt off that he didn't acknowledge them at all but continued the conversation.

OP posts:
User0610134057 · 24/02/2023 09:48

What dating app is this? I thought in general you had to upload photos

Bleakhouser · 24/02/2023 09:48

I think it’s very strange OP, that he wouldn’t even comment on you sending him photos. Surely that’s a normal thing to do, make at least some reference to them?