That having sent photos to potential date ..

[shyjenny]

That he would comment on them?
Or at least say something??

I'm new to this dating game and did not post photos on my profile.

I got chatting to a man .. we're both 50... and we arranged a date for this weekend.
We've continued to exchanged messages and getting on as well as one can via WhatsApp since, but he hasn't acknowledged me sending them.

What are your thoughts on this?

No, clearly most people on this thread don't think that as you'll have seen.

If you're really that bothered then do the normal thing and put photos on your profile. That way future suitors will know what you look like and you can take it as read they like how you look if they engage.

Man of 50 here, name changed as I post a lot on Secondary school threads, going through 11+ choices.

Anyway, saw this thread and made me think.

I know a few men my age that are newly single having divorced, one sadly wife passed away a while back and is trying to find a soulmate.

I can just imagine this guy struggling to find the words in reply to getting a pic sent, if not requested. Sounds like a typical thing a bloke my age would do, panic, not say anything, then leave it too late to comment for it to be weird.

Agree with many here, if he didn't think you looked nice enough to meet, he wouldn't make plans to meet, he'd either just wriggle out of meeting or just go radio silent.

My mates , those going back into the dating game, are pretty old fashioned
(born in the late 60's/early 70's , grew up in the 70's as boys, 80's as teens) crap at expressing ourselves really.

OP, I'm 100% sure he just tried to find the right words to not scare you off, left it too long and now can't comment on your pics because its weird.

I'd ask directly," did you get my pics? " gives him no excuse but to comment, I agree he's messed up here a bit, but he probably likes you, just a bit awkward and a bit of a pratt like all men my age!

Sorry I was responding to the poster who listed all the possible scenarios, but excluded one where the guy just doesn't fancy you but doesn't know quite how to say it. It's plausible that he might continue the conversation because he doesn't want to be rude, or maybe he just isn't into looks.

FWIW I agree with a subsequent poster who says that since you've gone about this an unorthodox way (by not having any photos of yourself on your profile) then it's hard to say what's a normal response here. Everyone is just speculating, and until you either ask him or meet the guy you won't know.

He had a picture in his head about what you look like - you look nothing like what he was expecting. He doesn't find you the slightest bit attractive, you're not his type. He can't bring himself to tell you he doesn't want to go on the date you have arranged?

This is a position I found myself in a few years ago, chatted to this guy for weeks online and on the phone but he didn't send me his photo until the day of our date. He just wasn't for me, I would never have messaged him if he had posted his picture at the beginning! I went ahead with the date and couldn't wait to get away.

I find it more plausible that he chose to speak to you without seeing your photo first because he doesn't have many options rather than because he isn't shallow.

If he definitely saw your photos and said nothing then he doesn't fancy you.

He continues to talk to you out of politeness particularly as you live close to each other and you have seen his face so ghosting you is too awkward. I think he will either chance the date and see if there is chemistry or free sex at the date or he will slowly fade away.

I think you should put a photo up on OLD. The only ones I've come across without photos were cheaters.

Gosh I feel like cancelling now tbh

Don't cancel over this!

Honestly there are so many different scenarios here, and we're all just speculating based on our own very varied experiences.

If you get a good vibe from him (outside of this) then go on the date.

Sorry, I was just posting the generic MN response.

There was a bit of a jokey build
Up to the photos. He didn't explicitly ask for them but was asking how he'd know of it was me or not etc
So we were having a bit of fun about me
setting myself up to fail and making a mountain out of photos as I hadn't any included in my
Profile so he knew id be a bit unnerved by sending the photos YET he didn't acknowledge them which I now think was deliberate.
Whether he thought Me attractive or not, he could have at least acknowledged me
Sending them knowing I was a bit uncomfortable.
Having said that, he was at a meeting when he received them and messaged that he couldn't interact straight away but then later continued the conversation, yet omitted any comment about the photos.
He has messaged today.
I'm a bit put off now !
Kind of shitty behaviour... would you agree??

Yes and no. Yes because why the hell wouldn't he acknowledge them. No because maybe feeling awkward about what to say. Just put your mind at rest and say just wondered if you got the photos.....

The fact he didn't acknowledge them is a bit shady but the whole thing sounds a little awkward.

I guess if all other signs are positive it's up to you whether you think it's worth pursuing anyway?

Pratt? On the contrary @Dadofthreetroublemakers you sound like a pretty decent bloke! Thanks for your input. From what you say, the OP doesn't have much to worry about.

@shyjenny Don't worry about him not responding. I don't think it means anything. Hope it all goes well.

@shyjenny I think go on the date. you will get some practice of getting out there and I think it's likely he does like you otherwise he'd be making excuses. If you took the advice on here, you would never date, as apparently everyone on online dating is just looking for a shag even though I have had lots of online dates and never so much as kissed any of them, my choice! If you over-analyse you will get nowhere. Similarly if you invest too much in a few messages you may be disappointed.

Treat it more as just a quick coffee with a potential new friend, go in, chat for 40 min to an hour and come home. Don't try to work it all out before you've even met him.

Maybe you're not ready to date - as with mist pps I don't think it was shitty behaviour for him not to comment on your photos, sounds a bit like self-sabotage.

I chatted to someone online some time ago and I also didn’t have a photo on my profile due to my job at the time. I didn’t hear from him after I sent one. After a couple of days, I did ask, did you receive my photo? He replied, yes and I’m sorry but you’re not my type. Oh well!! Least I know!!

How rude !!!!@Verynice1

It also works both ways. I was chatting to another guy and he looked nice in his photo. We arranged a date and the day before he sent me a different photo of himself and my heart sank as he looked completely different and really old-fashioned. I made an excuse and cancelled.

I don't think it's rude for OLD but it must be hard to hear.

However, I think this guy not acknowledging your photos at all, was rude.

I mean even if someone sent a poster of their hamster I'd at least acknowledge it.

If he thought you were hot he'd have complimented your appearance. Or maybe sexual attraction isn't important to him. Either way, it doesn't seem normal.

Agreed @MaryJean87 He clearly doesn't !

This is good advice.

You sound a bit nuts to be honest from your last few posts 😂

Why nuts@Cheeseandpickleplease ??

Don't try to work it all out before you've even met him.

This. You can't tell 'spark' from a photo anyway. Meet him and see what happens. It will be a good learning experience either way. It's hard to capture the 'real' you in a photo anyway, it's daft so much emphasis is put on them.

So if no comment is rude and not being attracted/being honest is rude then the only thing you'll accept is a compliment whether genuine or not?

Go on the date if only to get out your own head for a bit 😂