Pronouns annoyance

[crochetmonkey74]

I support every human being having the right to be who they are. This is not a bashing thread but I do want views on this.
Today , my friend messaged something about a non binary celeb. I replied with "I like him I think he's great" she then sent a text lecture about misgendering.
I actually didn't do it deliberately. My thoughts are these though: how can you insist on how others (who you will never hear or even know about) talk about you?
I agree with referring to people however they want you to in real life of course, am I just being a grumpy old bag? I genuinely want to get better at understanding the pronoun thing. What are your thoughts?

Plus #bekind now means “lie” “pretend” “be gaslit” to protect the feelings of an overgrown toddler

Yes, quite literally (and not) in some cases. Look up Sophie Eastwood (no more female than a baby).

The murderer has now told chiefs at Polmont prison in Brightons, Scotland, that she identifies as a tot, and should be allowed to wear diapers and have her meals pureed like baby food.

She has also demanded guards hold her hand when she is escorted to and from her cell.

Prison bosses are taking Eastwood's requests seriously and have already supplied her with a dummy, sources tell the Daily Recordd^.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/killer-now-identifies-infant-who-26675614.amp

Plus #bekind now means “lie” “pretend” “be gaslit” to protect the feelings of an overgrown toddler

Yes, quite literally (and not) in some cases. Look up Sophie Eastwood (no more female than a baby)

I would like to know when it stopped being enough to just live and let live. I've worked with people with all sorts if views. Some I agreed with some I didn't. But the important thing used to be that if u didnt approve of something for whatever reason, as long as you weren't actively and deliberately hurting /assaulting/making life difficult for someone and are genuinely polite/civil/professional etc then that was enough.

Now we appear to have shifted to the requirement being to be full on participating in things you dont believe in at the detriment to your own well being/mental health.

Why?
Why is it so necessary that there are constant reminders of approval/ally-ship and you have to constantly openly display this?

I dont believe in gender. I'm.not gonna attack /assault , throw stuff at, post them.dog shit, or repeatedly loudly verbally abuse them.

But I'm.not gonna participate in it either no more than I'd go to church or a mosque or a temple or pray.

But apparently that makes us worse than those actually doing the attacking

Actually which toilet do people who think of themselves as non- binary use?

But I'm.not gonna participate in it either no more than I'd go to church or a mosque or a temple or pray.

But apparently that makes us worse than those actually doing the attacking

Many of these people aren't used to being told "no". They experience it as a blow to their ego.

psychcentral.com/lib/narcissistic-injuries-what-they-are-and-how-to-protect-yourself-from-them#examples

Actually which toilet do people who think of themselves as non- binary use?

Oddly, male non binary people seem to be drawn to women’s spaces. We have heard of a male nb getting cross at being barred from a women only gym class, another demanding to be frisked at a nightclub entrance by the female bouncer, others using the ladies toilets for no apparent reason other than they want to.

NHS policy dictates that non binary identifying people get to pick the hospital ward of their choice, regardless of their sex. Obviously regardless of the impact on the women (the inevitable choice for male nbs).

And now a university in the UK is telling students to use "they" pronouns for everyone, until everyone has told them what pronouns they want to be used for them. There is no end to the purity spiral.

I thought I read somewhere that it's considered transphobic to call everyone 'they'.

I think this comes closest to how I feel about it. Well put. Thank you!

I mean you couldn’t make it up! Someone saying they’re neither make or female by look like a male, they have no connection to being female either in gender or sex yet surprisingly they still choose to infiltrate womens only spaces.

It is almost like it stops being special

I simply don't have the energy to give all this bollocks any of my headspace. Luckily I don't know anyone who wants to be called "they".

It's virtue-signalling crybullying.
Isn't it strange how people will happily rant on about how much they hate various celebrities, their acting/singing, their outfits, their opinions etc, but, somehow, often according to those sane people, anyone referring to a person by using a pronoun that's biologically accurate and by which they will almost certainly have happily been called for most of their life, is apparently committing literal violence.

Actually which toilet do people who think of themselves as non- binary use?

There was this recent thread about a woman who identified as non-binary, who was upset not to be allowed to use the disabled toilets. To clarify, she wasn't disabled - she just believed that, because it was her right to feel 'validated' even when doing something as mundane as going to the toilet - and using the women's toilets wasn't doing this for her - this therefore gave her the right to take disabled people's toilets away from them.

She wittered on about being worried that the other women using the toilets would notice and be shocked by her chest (I don't know if she was using binders or had had surgery) - as if women somehow don't realise that breasts come in all sizes, not that they would likely be looking anyway. I presume that means she expects breast cancer survivors should also worry about not being 'accepted' when using the women's toilets as well; outrageous.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4719381-non-binary-student-left-hurt-after-disabled-toilet-row-at-digbeth-bar

The annoying thing is the companies quote - the disabled toilets are available for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable using gendered toilets, so now being no binary takes priority over those who have a disability.

I want to know where this crap is coming from. Who is pushing it on the education system, on businesses,in the media? Such an incredible small number of people but seemingly able to make and break political careers - enforcing ideologies in work places, disproportionately represented in the media. Taking public resources, have a foothold everywhere with their agenda integrated and pushed from all angles. I’m not one for conspiracy theories - but this really doesn’t make logical sense - what is going on? Pharma companies? Some kind of extreme politics? Something isn’t right

These "chosen pronouns" were already being used by people, different people, to mean something different. And that meaning was important.

The choice by male people to appropriate and redefine all words that label female people takes away the ability of female people to name their own existence, their own reality. It takes their choice away from them.

So no, my respect for human beings' right to be who they are does not extend to supporting them redefining other people's existence, nor to take over the names, spaces, rights, social and political presence and voice of another group, especially not an already marginalised one.

I do not support anyone appropriating someone else's land, resources, culture, history or identity.

In fact, it's just occurred to be that Sam Brinton, in stealing individual women's suitcases, is simply physically enacting the core values of this movement. He decided it was important to him to have what these women had so he took it from them.

Yes, we are.

But it doesn't make feminism wrong, or alt-right, any more than the forced teaming of the LBG movement by authoritarian, misogynistic and homophobic TRAs makes the LBG movement itself authoritarian, misogynistic and homophobic.

Ironically, the only reason feminism is currently (and unlike LBG, fairly inaffectually) being force teamed in the first place is because gender ideology's attack on women and on women's rights has given them the opportunity. If that stopped, these alt-right cling-ons would disappear pretty sharpish!

I never use pronouns, ever. I've trained myself to think that everyone, everywhere is a they / them. It has massively distressed my life, because nobody can ever accuse me of misgendering and I don't have to let it occupy my ever waking thought worried I'm going to insult anyone.

Because men who believe they are women, and women who believe they are men, will not accept anything less than total acceptance by the group they target.

Apparently it's transphobic to call everyone 'they' now

Or is that 'transmisic'

I never use pronouns, ever. I've trained myself to think that everyone, everywhere is a they / them. It has massively distressed my life, because nobody can ever accuse me of misgendering.

'They/them' is a pronoun. Calling someone they or them is not neutral. I am female. By referring to me (or the vast majority of people) as 'they/them' you would be choosing the 'wrong' pronoun. I mean, let's be clear - I wouldn't be particularly fussed or consider it 'literal violence', I would just roll my eyes and think 'Oh - there's someone who's swallowed the gender woo'.

nobody can ever accuse me of misgendering and I don't have to let it occupy my ever waking thought worried I'm going to insult anyone

I don't let it occupy my every waking thought either. If someone is male, I refer to them as 'he'. If someone is female, I refer to them as 'she'. If I'm referring to them in the 3rd person, it's very unlikely they'd be there to take issue with it anyway!

this therefore gave her the right to take disabled people's toilets away from them.

but they didn't "take disabled people's toilets away from them ". They went in had a wee or whatever, they didn't permanently or deliberately deprive anyone.

They probably took all of 2 mins in there.

that said, I do think there's a need for some degree of balance and compromise, give and take, otherwise we're all going to spend our lives in a permanent state of froth and rage over every last thing. If there's one thing I do wish for it's the relative simplicity of not having warring factions at each other's throats over their rights and identity, it's utterly ridiculous,

Well big medal to you @Fairislefandango you're obviously the paragon of virtue. Funnily enough I wasn't actually talking to you specifically but if you want to make it about you, go right ahead.

I can honestly say I couldn't give a shit whether you think I've swallowed the gender woo (whatever the hell that even means).

Well big medal to you @Fairislefandango you're obviously the paragon of virtue. Funnily enough I wasn't actually talking to you specifically but if you want to make it about you, go right ahead.

Ooh I didn't realise we're only allowed to comments which are directed to us individually. Also I'm not sure why you'd think I was angling for a medal for just using pronouns the way they have always been used by literally everyone until a few years ago. As for virtue, surely the people changing the way pronouns are used are the virtue-signallers? Incidentally, if people ask to be called by a different name, or I need to refer to them in the 3rd person while they are there, I would use their preferred form of address. And no, I wasn't making it about me, I was giving an example, and I think that was pretty obvious when I added 'or the vast majority of people'.

Perfect reply.

Hopfully all this is a fad which will have gone away by the time my toddlers are older.