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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to correct her anymore?

188 replies

Beachloveramy · 23/02/2023 18:40

My long term best friend repeatedly pronounces my baby's name wrong.
I used to correct her but now I let it go even though it drives me up the wall.

It's not a mainstream British name but it's equally not difficult to pronounce.

I know she's not doing it maliciously but I find it a bit ignorant and lazy not to try to pronounce it correctly. I say his name often but she clearly doesn't pay attention.

AIBU not to say anything even though it irks me?

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 24/02/2023 20:09

@ComfortablyDazed , @OutofEverything , what about Owain and Bethan?
Would you try to say them the Welsh way or just say Owen/O-wine and Bethun?
Bear in mind that Welsh is a language not an accent, and there is 'history'.

I don't think either would need an affected accent to get the pronunciation,
OHW-ine (OH like in John) and BETH-ann.

I used to have a colleague with a surname ending in ham like Willingham, and when in meeting with colleagues from USA, would say Willing-ham, like the americans said it.

JudgeRudy · 24/02/2023 20:23

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 24/02/2023 19:10

@JudgeRudy, the correct pronunciation of Eva in Polish is EV-vah, not Ay-vah! Hard "E" like elephant

She pronounced hers a cross between a hard A (as in ape) and an e as in elephant. No quite a hard e.....she wasn't too fussed on the accent as such, she just didn't want ee vah

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 24/02/2023 20:45

BadNomad · 24/02/2023 04:59

At some point in my life Ibuprofen changed from eye-bewe-pro-fen to eye-boof-rin. I've always said it the first way, but everyone else says it the second way. I dont know which is correct, so I just take paracetamol.

But is that para-seet or para-set?
I say ibuprofen the same as you by the way (and seet for me)

ComfortablyDazed · 24/02/2023 20:57

KirstenBlest · 24/02/2023 20:09

@ComfortablyDazed , @OutofEverything , what about Owain and Bethan?
Would you try to say them the Welsh way or just say Owen/O-wine and Bethun?
Bear in mind that Welsh is a language not an accent, and there is 'history'.

I don't think either would need an affected accent to get the pronunciation,
OHW-ine (OH like in John) and BETH-ann.

I used to have a colleague with a surname ending in ham like Willingham, and when in meeting with colleagues from USA, would say Willing-ham, like the americans said it.

I live in NZ. Māori and Pacific names are a dime a dozen - yes, I pronounce them as they would pronounce them (or do my best to, given they’re not my native language).

Again, this is not the same as mimicking someone’s accent.

I accept that French, Spanish, Nigerian, Brazilian, etc, etc, people will all pronounce my name differently from me. And that’s fine!

margegunderson · 24/02/2023 22:39

NewUserName2023 · 23/02/2023 18:53

Mispronounce HER name. Tinkly laugh when she corrects you. 😉

You'd sound a complete dick if you did this

Battyfumworts · 25/02/2023 13:19

FinallyHere · 23/02/2023 19:07

I'm not good with sounds, so I honestly often don't notice when I am mispronouncing someone's name.

I'm very sorry, but just repeating it correctly won't give me any clue because the two pronunciations will sound the same to me. I'm not musical either so don't notice people singing out of tune. I think it's more common than anyone who does notice imagines. DH could hardly believe his ears when he finally (sic) noticed that I genuinely don't hear differences.

What does help me is if you say something like 'yes, it's difficult to say that name, isn't it'. Let me try showing you, it's xxxxxx not yyyyyyyy

Say that every time it happens. Only add tinkly laugh if this doesn't elicit at least an attempt to get it right.

Good luck.

I took part in a regional dialect study a year or so ago, this is actually a thing depending on where in the country you are from. I can’t remember specifically which examples were given but I ran over them with DH because I couldn’t hear the difference in some, he’s from a different part of the country and could, but struggled with some of the others.

Vodababy · 25/02/2023 15:24

Fairislefandango · 24/02/2023 19:58

Part of the problem is that it's very hard to define the difference between pronunciation and what counts as accent, and what counts as 'correct' pronunciation. A Scottish person would pronounce my name differently from how I (from SE England) pronounce it, even though my name has no obvious problems like a potential rhotic/non-rhotic 'r'. That doesn't mean they are pronouncing it incorrectly. It's how I'd expect my name to sound in a Scottish accent! I've seen posts on MN before about Scottish children or teachers in phonics lessons in English schools and vice versa. What's 'correct'?

This doesn't count in this instance - it's a Tee or Tie sound - totally different.

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 25/02/2023 16:43

@KirstenBlest, yes, it's spelt Ewa, pronounced with a hard E.

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 25/02/2023 16:44

@JudgeRudy ah, got you! I though you meant "Ayevah"

CallieG · 25/02/2023 18:50

She is doing it deliberately. People who continue to mispronounce names after being repeatedly corrected do it as a means of making the person feel Less than.
your “friend” is probably jealous so she’s passive aggressively annoying you by acting like your child is so insignificant that she can’t even remember the baby’s name.

KirstenBlest · 25/02/2023 19:36

@SteveBuscemisRheumyEye , like Evvah

KimberleyClark · 25/02/2023 19:38

CallieG · 25/02/2023 18:50

She is doing it deliberately. People who continue to mispronounce names after being repeatedly corrected do it as a means of making the person feel Less than.
your “friend” is probably jealous so she’s passive aggressively annoying you by acting like your child is so insignificant that she can’t even remember the baby’s name.

I agree. It”s dry passive aggressive.

Orangepolentacake · 27/02/2023 23:12

Do you Shevon or Cioban?

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