Not to correct her anymore?

[Beachloveramy]

My long term best friend repeatedly pronounces my baby's name wrong.
I used to correct her but now I let it go even though it drives me up the wall.

It's not a mainstream British name but it's equally not difficult to pronounce.

I know she's not doing it maliciously but I find it a bit ignorant and lazy not to try to pronounce it correctly. I say his name often but she clearly doesn't pay attention.

AIBU not to say anything even though it irks me?

Similarly I worked with an Italian called Alice. It was pronounced Aleechay and it would be rude to pronounce it the English way.

So we are all supposed to say names in the accent of the person whose name it is?

@KirstenBlest I think you missed the point there on the phonetic pronunciation!

Also, ibufren is not people saying it quickly, it’s people saying it wrong and skipping out an entire portion of the word.

Yes, I would certainly do my very best to do so. To be fair I speak 3 languages (and understand a couple more) so it’s probably easier for me to hear/pronounce nuances in language than it might be for many. In some languages I’d really struggle - Chinese for example would definitely be a challenge. But I’d do my best.

It's pronounced Te-re-sa. It's phonetic. It follows the English phonetic system of pronunciation.

A thousand times my mum has said that her name is Te-re-sa.
And a thousand times back she's been answered ' Oh , you mean Tuh-ree-zuh.'

Yes, because 'Tuh-ree-zuh' is how lots of English people called 'Teresa' or 'Theresa' pronounce their name. And sorry, but it makes no sense to say that 'Te-re-sa' 'follows the English phonetic system of pronunciation'. The letter 'e' can be pronounced in lots of ways. English pronunciation is extremely irregular.

Once your mum has said how her name has been pointed out, then of course people should say it like that. Saying 'Oh you mean tuh-ree-zuh' is ignorant. But so is trying to use non-existent pronunciation rules to suggest that English people should all routinely pronounce the name your way.

@TangledWebOfDeception , don't think so.

I think bufren is a brand name, so might be like saying panadol for paracetamol, or aspro for aspirin.

@KirstenBlest yes I did think that after posting...there’s a vague memory of that brand somewhere in the far reaches of my mind! That’s a bit more understandable then, and I can’t point the finger because I say ‘hoover’ and ‘hoovering’!

@TangledWebOfDeception , I try not to use brand names as verbs, but quite a few have entered the general vocabulary fairly recently.

@TangledWebOfDeception , to my shame I say hwfro (welshified form of hoovering) for vacuum cleaning if speaking Welsh. I should say the equivalent of 'dust sucking' That makes a less than appealing task sound revolting.

A thousand times my mum has said that her name is Te-re-sa.
And a thousand times back she's been answered
' Oh , you mean Tuh-ree-zuh.'

There is never any excuse for telling somebody that they don't know their own name - unless maybe genuinely helping a very small child who is still learning to talk.

So if a Scottish person met somebody with twin DDs called Beryl and Pearl, would they think that the parents had given both girls the exact same name?!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll , they'd think they had a Beryl and a Peryl or a Bearl and a Pearl.

Some people find it hard to hear sounds - it's why British can't say the German tz sound - because if you don't experience the sound as a child , you can't really hear it - and many children have had hearing trouble at sone time which might mean the sounds that they make seem to them to be the sound you are making

And sone people struggle to remember the correct sound - I have this - I know my bosses name is one of two sounds but I can never remember which it it - drives me mad. I dread to think how he takes it

@JudgeRudy, the correct pronunciation of Eva in Polish is EV-vah, not Ay-vah! Hard "E" like elephant

Oh god I can't do accents at all. So it would sound like I am taking the piss.

@SteveBuscemisRheumyEye , isn't it Ewa in Polish?

And nobody does British names in accents. If someone from Birmingham says they are Barry, you don't say their name back in a Birmingham accent.

@OutofEverything , what if the name is Gaeilge, Gaelic, Cornish or Welsh?

I am honestly hooting at the idea of saying someone’s name in their accent.

For everyone that might like this, there will be equal + people offended at you taking the absolute piss.

@ComfortablyDazed , if they were Jackie and from Yorkshire or Barry from Birmingham, but what if they were Menzies from the Highlands or Dafydd from Deiniolen.
Might it seem rude to not call them Mingis and Davv-ith (ith like in with)?
You would not need to affect any accent.

Right, you wouldn’t need to affect an accent, you’d just be pronouncing their name correctly, so not what I’m talking about.

Some people find it hard to hear sounds - it's why British can't say the German tz sound.

Really? I teach German and although students sometimes take a while to remember that the letter 'z' makes a 'tz' sound, I've never had any trouble getting people to actually replicate the 'tz' sound. We have it in lots of English words - e.g. anything that ends in 'ts'. It's the two different 'ch' sounds that cause trouble in my experience, especially the soft one as in 'ich'.

How would you address an American "Graham"? Gray-am or Gram? That's not even an accent difference.

Of course I would say Mingis. But I would not say it with a Scottish accent.
The suggestion is we should use the accent the person uses to say their own name.

Part of the problem is that it's very hard to define the difference between pronunciation and what counts as accent, and what counts as 'correct' pronunciation. A Scottish person would pronounce my name differently from how I (from SE England) pronounce it, even though my name has no obvious problems like a potential rhotic/non-rhotic 'r'. That doesn't mean they are pronouncing it incorrectly. It's how I'd expect my name to sound in a Scottish accent! I've seen posts on MN before about Scottish children or teachers in phonics lessons in English schools and vice versa. What's 'correct'?