Not to correct her anymore?

[Beachloveramy]

My long term best friend repeatedly pronounces my baby's name wrong.
I used to correct her but now I let it go even though it drives me up the wall.

It's not a mainstream British name but it's equally not difficult to pronounce.

I know she's not doing it maliciously but I find it a bit ignorant and lazy not to try to pronounce it correctly. I say his name often but she clearly doesn't pay attention.

AIBU not to say anything even though it irks me?

I don't think you are being precious, and you chose a lovely name.
If I were you I would deliberately mispronounce your df's name, ie Deanne is now Diane to you, but then I can be a stroppy cow.

I have a fairly typical English name (though two pronunciation in English) however, I've found many people whose first language isn't English really struggle with it. There's something about the 'r' in it that comes out as an 'h' sound.

I won't correct that or get miffed as there are just some sounds people can't make because of their mother tongue.

I would correct the other English pronunciation because its just not my name.

I think there's also something to be said for accent which can change how something is said.

However, I'm not sure any of that is relevant in the OPs example. I suggest saying both versions to her to see if she can hear the difference.

If she can, she's just being an arse.

At the extreme, I once had a Chinese friend and told him (in front of his brother) that I felt guilty calling him his Anglicised name…he good naturedly tried to get me to pronounce his Chinese name. The session ended with him and his brother laughing so hard at my efforts (in the nicest possible way) that they were physically holding each other up and us all agreeing that I’d stick to ‘Charles’.

Lovely name. So this is obviously not to do with accents or not being able to say the sound (like an English person not being able to roll Rs, or a French person not able to make an H sound).
Did she see it written before she heard it? If so, she might have assumed the wrong “version” and it’s now fixed in her head a bit. But if you keep saying it to her the right way she should have twigged. The only way now is to say directly “Polly, it’s Teejan not Tiejan. It’s important to us that people say his name the right way”. Repeat firmly if necessary.

When I read the Orrrrrla post all I could think was but that’s said the same for me as Awl-a would be. Unless the multiple rs is meant to represent a rolled r in which case I have no chance as I can’t roll my rs however much I’ve tried. I used to attempt it a lot as a child. Around the same time I taught myself to whistle. Could manage the whistle, never managed the rolled rs.

If your friend doesnt have learning difficulties and you have told her several times how to pronounce your babies name.....every time she mispronounces your childs name...mispronounce her name and laughingly say, Ive told you a million times...its pronounced....(whatever) she will get it much quicker.

Irish people don't generally roll their Rs.

I think the time has come to mispronounced their name.
See how they like it.

I have a colleague who has a child called Xavier, everyone avoids saying it because they just get in a flap about pronouncing it incorrectly and it doesn’t roll off the tongue. Variations people say are Zavvy-er/ Havvy-air / Ex-Avvy-eh. Part of me thinks if you’re going to choose a name that some people may struggle with, you can’t get too offended. I loved the name Fleur for a girl, but some family with strong regional accents I know would struggle with it.

I actually think that's really rude to not pronounce your bestfriends kids name correctly that would massively annoy me

I would correct her as this gives me the rage tbh.

My aunt is called Marie but it is pronounced Marry as is wedding.
DH constantly called her Miorry and it does her in. Just rude tbf.

@Moveoverdarlin , I say it as ZAY-vee-er, the usual English pronunciation.

@thirteenfiftyeight , they sound the r but don't roll it. I'd say Orla as OR-la, the Or like in Tory, and the la like in La-la-la. I'm not English. The awla pronunciation isn't great

@Beachloveramy , I'd just tell your friend it's Tee-jan, tee like in T-shirt, teacup etc, and say it with the paddington stare

@thirteenfiftyeight , they sound the r but don't roll it. I'd say Orla as OR-la, the Or like in Tory, and the la like in La-la-la. I'm not English. The awla pronunciation isn't great

I know. They don't roll their Rs

@Orangepolentacake I have a non rhotic accent but live in a rhotic area. If I tried to pronounce "Orrrla" instead of my natural "Awla" it would sound like I was taking the piss!

The struggle is real when I (a Scottish person) meet a Carl and have to say it in an American accent or call them Carol 😂😂🤦‍♀️

Did she see it written before she heard it? If so, she might have assumed the wrong “version” and it’s now fixed in her head a bit.

The above from pp I think is so true. She may be terrified of pronouncing it incorrectly, and is maybe seeing how it is spelt in her head and then mispronouncing it by accident each time.

@FictionalCharacter thank you 😊

I have a scottish friend who says Carl as Carol.

These comments are great! I think the comment about verbal dyslexia may be true with her.

The response has been pretty unanimous - I'll correct her next time 😊 probably in a much kinder way that some suggestions though!

I struggle with this myself 😂

Maybe you need to try and turn it into one of those memory story thingies.

Polly, did you know that the reason we chose this name for our son is because he really loves to drink tea in January,

Tea in Jan,

Tea-Jan

Then, a clever psychological trick to try to reinforce this is to pour a cup of tea over her.

Worth a try!

@thirteenfiftyeight ok if you want to nitpick the PP's saying Orrrrla I cant pronounce because I cant roll my R's. My own surname is arabic and I cant pronounce that correctly for the same reason.

I think this is a dialect or accent thing. I would say Te-re-za. It would come out really odd if o tried to say it your way.

I thought the UK English pronunciation of Xavier was ZAV ee uh and that ZAY vee uh was the US version?