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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP won't let me use a household item he bought

172 replies

HogwartsForever11 · 23/02/2023 07:57

Hi, this is a really silly one but not sure if I'm going mad as DP is making a big thing of it.

Context - we own a house together, been together c.6 years. We have a set of bathroom scales that are quite unreliable, e.g. weight can fluctuates by up to 5 pounds if you get on twice in quick succession. I use these scales around once a week but also go to a local Slimming World so don't need the home scales. DP only uses them occasionally as far as I'm aware.

DP has just told me our scales are rubbish and we need new ones. I said I agree they're not great so I'm happy to just not to have any in the house if he is. He said fine he'll buy some new ones with his money and keep them hidden just for his use as he's the only one paying for them. I said I thought that was quite a selfish and weird mindset and that if he wants them then I'm happy to buy them out of joint money for the house, but buying some to secretly keep for his own use is pretty weird and selfish. He says it's fair enough if he's the only one paying.

I think what's annoying me is that I never said I wouldn't get them out of joint money, I am more than happy to even though I'm not fussed about using them, he just jumped to that conclusion! I just find the mindset so odd - if he buys a pack of pens and I run out is he going to not lend me one? If he bought a book and than I wanted to read it after is he going to not let me?

OP posts:

HoodieBell · 23/02/2023 17:28

BTW, some electronic scales need to be reset every time they are moved or they will display inaccurate readings. You need to turn them on and let them turn off again before stepping on them to test your weight. They should then give an accurate reading. You may have tried this but I know I had this issue so thought I'd share.

Copperoliverbear · 23/02/2023 17:32

Odd behaviour that would put my right off of him.

Wheredothesocksgo · 23/02/2023 17:33

When i signed up for second nature I was sent a set of scales that linked to my app as a tracker. If anyone else used them they would have messed with my data. Could it be something like that?

Pallisers · 23/02/2023 17:34

growinggreyer · 23/02/2023 08:05

This shows such ungenerosity of spirit. You need to investigate this further. The challenges of life will only increase and you need a partner who would give you the shirt off his back if he saw you cold, not hide things that are 'his' from you.

Agree with every word of this.

Shelby2010 · 23/02/2023 17:40

Actually it sounds like OP is the stroppy one:

DP: These scales are rubbish, we need to get new ones
OP: Well let’s just get rid of them & not have any scales in the house at all then.

its only after this that DP starts with the childish: Well I’ll just buy them with my own money & keep them for myself then.

You both sound like a pair of kids, but you were weird first.

whatever1980 · 23/02/2023 17:42

Do you have your own food cupboards and cups and plates like - like in a house share?

Does he put post it notes on his stuff in the fridge?

Bored86 · 23/02/2023 18:42

I think this is probably the most boring argument I’ve ever heard in my life. Seriously there are bigger problems in the world. What the actual! You sound like a pair of teenagers.

Wonderland19 · 23/02/2023 18:50

Very very odd, me or my DP would just be like the scales are shit. One of us would buy some new one's, put them in the bathroom, and be like, I got some new scales they are in the bathroom... Just such a non event

Irridescantshimmmer · 23/02/2023 19:07

He's being dysfunctional.

Testina · 23/02/2023 19:43

Just like her previous thread, she’s not bothering to come back then? 🙄

caringcarer · 23/02/2023 19:59

This behaviour would really piss me off.

Kerri44 · 23/02/2023 20:04

Morechocmorechoc · 23/02/2023 08:07

If you have kids that means while you're at home earning less on may leave he won't share any income either? I'd be really careful if he's this petty over scales.

Was thinking same, I earn significantly less now I'm part time from having 2 children, my husband would never do that, in fact he tells me off when I say his new car n he says it's our new family car

Luckypom · 24/02/2023 01:01

@Bored86

This! I’ve wasted too much time on this lol. Clearly I need more hobbies!

Northernsouloldies · 24/02/2023 01:14

Pity there wasn't a way to fuck with his scales display so he thinks he's a stone heavier. 😁

BellePeppa · 24/02/2023 09:15

Bored86 · 23/02/2023 18:42

I think this is probably the most boring argument I’ve ever heard in my life. Seriously there are bigger problems in the world. What the actual! You sound like a pair of teenagers.

Hate it when people say this! Yes there are bigger problems in the world but if we took that attitude we’d never express ourselves about anything negative as nothing in our lives could compare to earthquakes, tsunamis, wars, starvation, etc. If we’re ok enough to be on MN then we should just shut the f*ck up? I do agree though that arguing about who has the right to use the scales is, if not boring, then certainly a first world problem.

Tillow4ever · 24/02/2023 13:04

7 pages in and no-ones suggested he must be having an affair due to his new obsession with his weight… must be a Mumsnet first!

It’s definitely a petty attitude, and not a particularly attractive one. But context is key - have you told him he can’t use something you bought and this is his “revenge”? Was it said in a joking way? Does he have form?

PleaseYourselfandEatTheCrusts · 27/02/2023 22:24

That is weird. I think it's weird of him to plan to act oddly over the scales before even bought them.

PleaseYourselfandEatTheCrusts · 27/02/2023 22:25

before he has even bought them

Merangutan · 27/02/2023 22:38

You own a house together but he won’t let you stand on some weighing scales because you didn’t pay anything for them?! Does he want you to go round the house banning him from touching anything he didn’t go halves on? OP, this isn’t normal. It’s really odd, selfish, stingy behaviour.

CaptainMerica · 27/02/2023 23:09

Wheredothesocksgo · 23/02/2023 17:33

When i signed up for second nature I was sent a set of scales that linked to my app as a tracker. If anyone else used them they would have messed with my data. Could it be something like that?

I was going to say this. DH bought scales that you use with an app, and I'm scared to stand on them in case he gets an alert telling him how much I weigh.

LoisLane66 · 30/05/2023 19:15

I'd find them and put some clear glue on the feet marks.

LoisLane66 · 30/05/2023 19:18

@CaptainMerica
Yours must be a pretty poor relationship if you hide your weight from a partner.

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