Page 10 | To dine alone on a London day trip with DH and baby?

Skyeheather · 23/02/2023 08:34

Can't your DH stay at home with the baby and you go with a friend/relative/alone. Baby will be eating food by then, you could leave some expressed milk in a cup. Your DH will be on hand if anything happens at nursery.

What will you do if the nursery calls to say your child is unwell and needs to be collected? Nursery usually require the child to be collected asap in this instance.

What if your return train is delayed and you can't get to the nursery in time? You just need a signal failure, broken down train, someone decides to throw themselves off a bridge.....

Seems very unfair on your DH and a bit of a strange thing to want for yourself.

LaPassegiata · 23/02/2023 08:35

ShirleyPhallus · 23/02/2023 08:29

Honestly what is bizarre is people who are so joined to the hip of their partner that they say they wouldn’t experience any enjoyment in something unless their partner was there with them

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Agreed. One of the strengths of our very long marriage is the lack of codependency. Some people can’t even sleep without their partner in bed beside them 🤯

LaPassegiata · 23/02/2023 08:40

AngelaMeerkat · 23/02/2023 06:12

I have checked! I posted an example link earlier showing how they all are very clear bringing a baby isn't possible (even if that would be relaxing for me and other diners). I've said I'm happy to be proved wrong by anyone's specific recent experience to the contrary but no one has yet done this.

Hotels in London for all of us are very pricey and would mean a much lower budget for lunch so I wouldn't get to go where I wanted.

DH has said he'd find both of them on his own hard going so I think he'd find it easier to just have DD, which I would too if I were him (eg I actually have done lunches with colleagues and baby on both mat leaves which are great but would not do it with DS as well as he's much more demanding of conversation attention etc).

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How can a dad not look after his own children for a couple of hours? I would find this incredibly unattractive in a partner. Leave him to it otherwise he will never learn.

Danneigh · 23/02/2023 08:41

What if your return train is delayed and you can't get to the nursery in time? You just need a signal failure, broken down train, someone decides to throw themselves off a bridge.....

I actually agree with this. Someone done exactly this last time we were coming home from London and we were sat stuck on the line unable to get off the train for a few hours. Even then when we got off at the next station it was chaos and we got home about 6 hours later than we should have in the end.

Swiftswatch · 23/02/2023 08:42

Seems very unfair on your DH and a bit of a strange thing to want for yourself.

Oh boo hoo poor little DH having 2 hours alone with his own child.

toomuchlaundry · 23/02/2023 08:45

The OP says her DH works in London so I assume he isn’t a very useful emergency contact for nursery. Would be useful to have more than one contact who is nearby. I was a contact number for a number of friends at our children’s school as I was a SAHM

lazycats · 23/02/2023 08:46

Ignore the idiots who think you have to be martyr to your (far from newborn) baby 24/7 - if your DH is ok with the idea then go for it.

Bellaboo01 · 23/02/2023 08:49

AngelaMeerkat · 22/02/2023 22:38

I love eating out, particularly fine dining. Haven't done it for years because of DCs. I'm very happy dining alone and used to do it on work trips a lot in nice places.

I'd really like a really fancy lunch out for my 30th (eg 3 Michelin star type thing). I live about an hour from London on the train, but no really decent local restaurants.

DS is 4 and in nursery. DD (breastfed exclusively) will be 8.5 months for my 30th.

Would it be ridiculous and indulgent on my 30th to ask DH to come up to London with me and DD for the day, and take DD somewhere while I go and have a really fancy lunch on my own? I don't know whether it's rude to make him travel and then not let him come to lunch, but the distance means it would be stressful having DD go without breastfeeding for a whole trip if I did the whole thing alone, plus we could do some nice stuff before and after.

Also is it too risky to have both parents an hour away while DS is in nursery incase of emergency? We have no local family.

Is this a stupid idea or the only way I can have a lovely meal for the next few months?

I suppose if it is what you want to do then thats fine.

Just out of interest why don't - you, your husband and also baby go for the lovely lunch altogether.

I don't mind dining alone at all but, if i was with someone for a day out then i would automatically assume they would be joining me for lunch bur, if you prefer dining alone then your partner will probably be aware of this and won't mind.

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 08:50

@Mumwithbaggage

lol what a Martyr you sound. Op isn’t resigning herself to boring, self- sacrificing “mumdom” and good on her!

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 08:51

Skyeheather · 23/02/2023 08:34

Can't your DH stay at home with the baby and you go with a friend/relative/alone. Baby will be eating food by then, you could leave some expressed milk in a cup. Your DH will be on hand if anything happens at nursery.

What will you do if the nursery calls to say your child is unwell and needs to be collected? Nursery usually require the child to be collected asap in this instance.

What if your return train is delayed and you can't get to the nursery in time? You just need a signal failure, broken down train, someone decides to throw themselves off a bridge.....

Seems very unfair on your DH and a bit of a strange thing to want for yourself.

@Skyeheather

why is it unfair on him?! It’s not his birthday!

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 08:53

All you mummy martyrs on here !

what exactly do you think op should be doing for her birthday??

Nice trip to Toby carvery with DH and the kids maybe? Maybe followed up with some soft play or trip to toys r us?

afterall you’re a mother now op, your needs and wants don’t matter!!

Bellaboo01 · 23/02/2023 08:54

AngelaMeerkat · 22/02/2023 22:51

Just to be clear, I don't want to eat alone. I do want to eat a really, really nice fine dining meal and as none would allow a baby I don't see any alternative? I would much prefer to eat with DH but what would we do with the baby? She can't be left at home with someone else because of the distance and breastfeeding.

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Of course you can take the baby with you. This is very normal for all restaurants especially in London. They wouldn't allow - running around toddlers etc but, a baby is totally different.
There are plenty of 'fine dining' in London that will allow a baby.

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 08:54

Bellaboo01 · 23/02/2023 08:49

I suppose if it is what you want to do then thats fine.

Just out of interest why don't - you, your husband and also baby go for the lovely lunch altogether.

I don't mind dining alone at all but, if i was with someone for a day out then i would automatically assume they would be joining me for lunch bur, if you prefer dining alone then your partner will probably be aware of this and won't mind.

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@Bellaboo01

cos babies aren’t always welcomed into fancy restaurants

CaramelMach · 23/02/2023 08:59

I don't think it's selfish but weirdly convoluted and why spend that kind of money on a meal that's nicer (let's be honest) to share with someone else. To comment on the food and mutual enjoyment etc.

It's not about being a mum martyr but as I've already acknowledged- this window of time is so short. Wait until kids can be elsewhere and enjoy it with your H also.

I think it's different to the bath spa thing tbh. The principle is the same but really it's just a bit odd.

I say this as someone who regularly eats out alone so it's not about that.

BarrelOfOtters · 23/02/2023 09:02

If your husband doesn't mind - that's great.

Bellaboo01 · 23/02/2023 09:03

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 08:54

@Bellaboo01

cos babies aren’t always welcomed into fancy restaurants

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There are plenty of beautiful 'fancy', fine dining restaurants in London that welcome babies and the baby will be treated amazingly.

Pipsquiggle · 23/02/2023 09:04

I do think it's weird to go to a 3 star Michelin restaurant by yourself - unless you are absolutely minted and can afford this kind of service like the rest of use Costa.

I probably go to a very smart restaurant maybe once every 18 months. Due to the special occasion (and cost) I would want to share it with my DH and /or good friends.

PerpetualStudent · 23/02/2023 09:06

Fuck me, the martyrs on this thread. If you can make it work, go for it OP. Maybe a good motivation for making friends with some other nursery families to be each other’s emergency contacts/pick up option?

When my DC2 was 8 months I went OVERNIGHT to my sisters hen do (she was mixed fed so much easier) and previous to that when DC1 was 9 months my DH took a 3 MONTH sabbatical from work so we could all travel together to another country where I had a research fellowship. He and DC did nothing but chill together in another city while I worked and networked. One lunch on your birthday is nothing. You are an awesome super mum and deserve your birthday treat, it does not mean you love your DC or DH any less!

Nimblesandbimbles · 23/02/2023 09:07

OP I like my own company too and would totally do this & my DP would be fine with it too. But I wouldn’t have asked on here as I could have predicted the responses! It’s YOUR 30th and it sounds like a lovely idea for a special treat. I think the issue is that some can’t fathom spending time on their own especially for their birthday. Sounds amazing to me!

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/02/2023 09:07

Pipsquiggle · 23/02/2023 09:04

I do think it's weird to go to a 3 star Michelin restaurant by yourself - unless you are absolutely minted and can afford this kind of service like the rest of use Costa.

I probably go to a very smart restaurant maybe once every 18 months. Due to the special occasion (and cost) I would want to share it with my DH and /or good friends.

@Pipsquiggle

thats you though.

op doesn’t mind dining on her own.

and it’s her birthday so 🤷‍♀️

beAsensible1 · 23/02/2023 09:07

there was a breastfed baby at dinner in the Michelin restaurant i was in last month. when they fussed dad stood up for a bit and walked outside then came back in.

no one gave a toss as we were all doing the wine pairing, take your baby for lunch and enjoy your day with your family. babies exist, its fine. do you use a pacifier? take one!

Aphrathestorm · 23/02/2023 09:09

Your DH not feeling like he cant cope with his own 2 DCs for a few hours is an almighty drip feed!

He needs to man up.

Definitely leave the DCs with him and go to London on your own for the day.

Leave him with them every week so he can't pull this ridiculous excuse again!

Februaryschild2023 · 23/02/2023 09:09

Absolutely do it. Take joy where you can!
Interestingly I've asked for a meal out for one as my mother's Day present, and can't bloody wait

CaramelMach · 23/02/2023 09:10

beAsensible1 · 23/02/2023 09:07

there was a breastfed baby at dinner in the Michelin restaurant i was in last month. when they fussed dad stood up for a bit and walked outside then came back in.

no one gave a toss as we were all doing the wine pairing, take your baby for lunch and enjoy your day with your family. babies exist, its fine. do you use a pacifier? take one!

Please don't take a baby somewhere like that. Many could have saved for a while to get a child free fancy lunch. They won't want your baby there changing the atmosphere.

freyamay74 · 23/02/2023 09:10

@Bellaboo01 this isn't a newborn, she's an 8.5 month old who would be sitting in a high chair, on solids, possibly noisy and messy, as is totally normal for this age. Not all restaurants would welcome this and it would also no doubt be preferable for the OP to enjoy a relaxing meal without worrying about needing to remove her child because they're causing a disturbance.

Honestly, this seems to be one of those threads where a perfect solution is offered and the OP is finding all sorts of reasons not to accept it.

The OP said she would prefer to dine with her DH.

OP: organise a local babysitter. Totally fair enough to not want to book an unknown person in London. Either travel an hour into London, enjoy your meal and travel back while child is looked after at home. She will be on solids at this age, can drink (bm or water) from a sippy cup. We're talking a few hours! A child this age can easily be left. If you can't cope with being geographically far apart then take the babysitter to London. They can wander around a park/ gallery while you and your dh enjoy the special lunch you say you want.

Sorted!