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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found this dress totally unacceptable

286 replies

Whatwouldyado · 22/02/2023 21:07

Would you wear this out to a restaurant? Wearing nothing underneath but nipple covers and thong?

just to be clear…this is an open all day brunch/lunch then tapas burgers kinda place. family friendly, kids menu crayons ect. Not an evening or drinks venue.

I was completely taken a back as to why anyone would think it’s appropriate to wear that to a kid friendly restaurant

couldn’t find a link to the actual dress but it’s very similar to this Kylie Jenner one.

AIBU here?!

detail missing incase it’s outing!

I found this dress totally unacceptable
OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 22/02/2023 22:59

I wouldn't wear that now but everyone enjoyed it when I did.
Doesn't sound like your woman liked it much

ironingboredrefusal · 22/02/2023 22:59

Kids only give a shit if the adults tell them they should give a shit. Mine wouldn't give a shit. Because they know what people wear is not their business and isn't sexual because women aren't here to be sexualised. Of course it might be a surprise in certain circumstances, but it doesn't mean it's wrong.

Eyerollcentral · 22/02/2023 22:59

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 22:57

A long time ago I went to an all-day Tex Mex restaurant in the evening with my boyfriend.

I wasn't wearing any underwear under my skirt and top though you couldn't see anything unless you really looked.

The bloke on the next table was really looking so his girlfriend started a row with him and he said: "I wouldn't look at that slag."

Unfortunately there was a hush in the restaurant as he said it so everyone heard. It was an awkward moment but luckily we were regulars in the restaurant and they weren't so they were asked to leave.

It didn't seem like there was a lot of trust in their relationship and I wonder where they are now. Me and my boyfriend have been happily married for 30 years. I wouldn't wear that now but everyone enjoyed it when I did.

Mind your own business and stop staring at girls you're jealous of @Whatwouldyado

Christ almighty. This is like reader’s wives intro 🤣

Strawberrydelight78 · 22/02/2023 22:59

Reminds me of a beach dress you would wear over a bikini abroad. It's acceptable when abroad and better than going in wearing just a bikini. I wouldn't wear it in the UK though.🥶🥶🥶

grumpycow1 · 22/02/2023 23:04

Nah I wouldn’t get worked up - life Is too short to worry about other people like this.

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:05

You're a very long time old, that's if you're lucky to live that long.

Some of you have got there already.

category12 · 22/02/2023 23:06

ironingboredrefusal · 22/02/2023 22:59

Kids only give a shit if the adults tell them they should give a shit. Mine wouldn't give a shit. Because they know what people wear is not their business and isn't sexual because women aren't here to be sexualised. Of course it might be a surprise in certain circumstances, but it doesn't mean it's wrong.

That's just silly to me. Some outfits are deliberately sexualised and worn for effect. This would be one of them.

Makilda · 22/02/2023 23:08

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:05

You're a very long time old, that's if you're lucky to live that long.

Some of you have got there already.

Ah. A little blatant ageism, just to keep things really civilized.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 22/02/2023 23:13

Low-class.

creekingmillenial · 22/02/2023 23:15

I would view it as a fashion faux par but wouldn’t be offended, more cringe for the person/ amused. My kids are 8 &6 and might pass comment. But ultimately it’s just a body being a body.

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:15

Ah. A little blatant ageism, just to keep things really civilized.

@Makilda what's ageist about it? I'm 58.

Makilda · 22/02/2023 23:17

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:15

Ah. A little blatant ageism, just to keep things really civilized.

@Makilda what's ageist about it? I'm 58.

What's not ageist about equating old with a certain POV?

Being 58 doesn't mean you can't be ageist btw.

LunaTheCat · 22/02/2023 23:19

userxx · 22/02/2023 21:19

Perfect for my peri menopausal body, absolutely no overheating going on in that dress. Where can I buy it ?

🤣🙄

RealBecca · 22/02/2023 23:19

Puffalicious · 22/02/2023 22:01

Notice the poster who said it was okay to show your vagina hasn't answered whether they'd be okay if it was a penis in mesh.

I backed off when I think someone was making a dig about children being out having petty rows and thought it was aimed at me.

To answer you, no I wouldnt care if it was a penis or vagina in mesh. It would look equally as unappealing. As long as I cant touch it or smell it, I just dont care. Live and let live.

I'm going to sleep now but will look at mumsnet tomorrow. Tag me if you want to carry on discussing and I'll come back to it. I dont want to be accused by another posted of childish squabbling.

anr70 · 22/02/2023 23:20

yawn

nothingmoreatthemo · 22/02/2023 23:25

If you don't like what another woman is wearing, the secret is to not look.

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:28

Being 58 doesn't mean you can't be ageist btw.

@Makilda but it means you have a certain perspective. You can wear things in your 20s that you can't wear in your 50s. Some women don't realise that until it's too late but I did. Of course you might not want to wear that kind of dress ever and that's okay. I'm not the one telling women what to wear.

Makilda · 22/02/2023 23:36

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:28

Being 58 doesn't mean you can't be ageist btw.

@Makilda but it means you have a certain perspective. You can wear things in your 20s that you can't wear in your 50s. Some women don't realise that until it's too late but I did. Of course you might not want to wear that kind of dress ever and that's okay. I'm not the one telling women what to wear.

That's not what the original post was about and it's not what I called out as ageist.

Assigning views based on age is sexist.

Puffalicious · 22/02/2023 23:37

RealBecca · 22/02/2023 23:19

I backed off when I think someone was making a dig about children being out having petty rows and thought it was aimed at me.

To answer you, no I wouldnt care if it was a penis or vagina in mesh. It would look equally as unappealing. As long as I cant touch it or smell it, I just dont care. Live and let live.

I'm going to sleep now but will look at mumsnet tomorrow. Tag me if you want to carry on discussing and I'll come back to it. I dont want to be accused by another posted of childish squabbling.

Show quote history

Sorry you feel you were misrepresented. We should have free discussion here.

I do find it very hard to accept that you'd be okay with a penis in mesh in a restaurant in the day with kids/ families around. I'd also be 'Live and let live' if it was 18+ at night. I may think they looked like a twat, but each time their own.

But this is NOT that situation. This is the over-sexualisation of society. My child - ASD- wouldn't understand and be very upset by it; he actually might think it would be acceptable for him to strip off and show his penis in the restaurant. He's 11 and it's not acceptable for him, so why a man/ woman/ other adult?

Sorry, but your argument is just ridiculous.

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:40

@Makilda ageist now sexist. You keep using those words I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

Wear what you want. Don't care about what other people wear. It's a restaurant not a church.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2023 23:44

As MN is completely fair and doesn't have any double standards, I'm so glad that we've established that adults can wear whatever they like; if you don't like it, you shouldn't be looking; and children need to be told that, if an adult wears something that most people would say is highly inappropriate, they need to shush and accept that the person has an absolute right to wear whatever they want without criticism or comment.

I'll pop over to Essex in the morning and apologise profusely on behalf of all of MN to the old man who stands outside schools dressed in a girl's school uniform, and admit to him that, no, WE were the ones in the wrong and not him.

Arrrrrrragghhh · 22/02/2023 23:50

limitedperiodonly · 22/02/2023 23:28

Being 58 doesn't mean you can't be ageist btw.

@Makilda but it means you have a certain perspective. You can wear things in your 20s that you can't wear in your 50s. Some women don't realise that until it's too late but I did. Of course you might not want to wear that kind of dress ever and that's okay. I'm not the one telling women what to wear.

Sorry ?
Why can’t you wear it in your 50’ s if you’re the one not telling woman what to wear. Can we wear what we want or not?
I mean all people have to do is not look according to some on here.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/02/2023 23:52

I don’t like it, as it I wouldn’t want it for myself. But I don’t object to other people wearing his sort of thing. If private parts are covered then it’s not unreasonable. Maybe tasteless but so are a lot of things.

BeaverLeader · 23/02/2023 00:02

Blueink · 22/02/2023 21:49

i wouldn’t wear it, no, but don’t think kids will be paying any attention or judging and neither would I.

My ND 6yo would say something along the lines of

"I can see that lady's BUM!?! That's a bit rude and not very sensible isn't mummy?! Show her the pantasaurus song, mummy, can you send it to her so she knows?! Will she have a cold bum?! What's in your pants belongs only to you!" and then we'd likely get a rendition of the pantasaurus song.

NatashaDancing · 23/02/2023 00:04

BeaverLeader · 23/02/2023 00:02

My ND 6yo would say something along the lines of

"I can see that lady's BUM!?! That's a bit rude and not very sensible isn't mummy?! Show her the pantasaurus song, mummy, can you send it to her so she knows?! Will she have a cold bum?! What's in your pants belongs only to you!" and then we'd likely get a rendition of the pantasaurus song.

Show quote history

That 6 year old is showing more sense than many posters on here.