To think that Stacey Dooley isn't a realistic new mum role model for women

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I picked out Stacey Dooley because I've just been reading about her but I know this applies to many other celebrities. She gave birth to her daughter in January and she's already back to work and attending events. She's also posted photos of her slim post baby body and trendy, flattering outfits on social media. Obviously it depends on your experience of pregnancy and giving birth but does this image of post natal motherhood put pressure on women? To me, I see it as unrealistic for the majority of women, including myself and my own experiences. Why can't celebrities share more honest, typical reflections of early motherhood that the majority can relate to.

What do people think?

I personally completely warmed to KP after seeing her pics - she seemed totally engrossed in her baby and happy.

I got turned off Blake Lively who recently posted a pic of herself with her flat stomach showing, talking about some recipe or something but blatently wanting people to fawn over how great she looked. It was all so contrived.

I went back to work when my sons were 6 weeks old. At 3 months I was looking much as before pregnancy. That was the norm for professional women 30 years ago.

I honestly don't agree with your post at all.

I get that people want to see people they can relate to. It was refreshing for you to see someone open up about their MH battle after birth, as you had a similar experience and it's great that it provided you some reassurance.

But what would you like Stacey Dooley to do? She can't tell you about her MH struggles if she's not struggling.

I've personally had both experiences. One pregnancy after which I bounced back quickly, didnt put any weight on, had an easy baby, looked and felt great and enjoyed life. And one where 18 months later I was still very overweight, BF was a struggle, I developed anxiety, could barely leave the house etc. I was then happy to hear about people similar to me to reassure myself it could be normal and I wasn't a lesser mum.

But I don't resent Stacey Dooley because I know it's also possible to thrive straight after birth.

Don't follow her, follow the people you can relate to and take care of yourself.

Oh, and just to add there will be celebrities struggling who put on a front for Instagram, for sure. But in this case, don't resent them, feel sorry for them.

At least when I felt like shit I could stay at home, imagine having the whole world looking at you and having to pretend you're having a great time for fear of judgement. Awful.

Perhaps that is reality for them. I had twins, my DP was the SAHP and I went back to work when they were 8 weeks old as I was the main earner. I didn't post about it on social media, but it was reality. To be honest it worked out well as he loved being at home looking after them and I continued my career. His career has also now caught up again.

It really pisses me off when celebrities complain about how difficult it is looking after a newborn etc. You're rich ffs, even if you're up with the baby breastfeeding and you don't have a nanny, you can still afford hired help, someone to come clean and cook for you! Also I think it was Kylie Jenna who posted a photo of herself on a plane with her toddler, complaining how tedious the journey was! Just Urgh!! I'm sure she wasn't seated in economy!

It's completely relevant to the thread, if your too sensitive to hear it then this thread isn't for you. Some women struggle to put weight back on after sickness and breastfeeding, or were just thin before.

In all honesty, I can be envious of those who bounce back quickly. With my first, it took months to recover from birth trauma and a 3L blood loss. I couldn't walk properly for ages either. I had pnd after both my children. My post natal experiences were horrible.

However, I do understand that not everyone is like that. Yes, some women are just luckier than others. That's just life.

I do think it would be helpful if things were more balanced on social media though by higher profile mums. I suppose Stacey Dooley just caught my attention but it could be any celebrity.

Bit all she seems have said was it was chill. So sat around in their jammies, whilst he ordered take out, away from everyone wanting to come and squish the baby. If she's bf stop every hour and feed without all the faff and palava off bottles and go again. Lots of babies sleep well in a car.

I was still in hospital with mine at the point but I'm glad lots of women have nicer experiences

Of course you can be envious. If you took home a healthy baby within the first 3 months I'm envious of you. But we need to encourage struggling mom's to post, not try to silence those who aren't

I’ve just seen an article written about Stacey Solomon who has said she hasn’t washed her hair for two weeks because she has no energy to do it and now it’s really greasy if that makes anyone feel any better.

I'm so glad i don't follow anyone on Instagram or anywhere else.

Life is hard enough without feeling shite compared with someone with more money and help than I'll ever know, pretending to live like me

They’re not pretending to live like us though. They’re just living their own lives, with their own circumstances.

Can we not people's brains away from them?

If people can't realise what is real ans what is not then they seriously need to look at themselves

Everything in life can't be spoon fed them to and we can't keep on blaming society, media, looking deliberately for instagram, YouTube, social media moments then saying it is everyone else's fault I don't think for myself

There is plenty of genuine parenting information our there for the non lazy

Just went on Stacey Dooleys IG out of curiosity and she's put a few promo vids and pics up of her new (pre-recorded probably before she was pregnant) show and then uploaded a few photos where she's wearing massive, oversized clothing?

Don't think there's anything there that would make a new mum feel bad about themselves? This is a really weird thread tbh!

But then you get the classic "what a mummy martyr. She has a husband why can't he hold the baby while she washes her hair?" Shite.

Honestly, we should all just be fucking grateful we are breathing and accept the permanent bashing because we dare to take breathe.

Yep. Stacey S is wrong not to wash her hair and if she washed it she’d be wrong. I learnt a long time ago no matter what you do someone will have a problem with it so now I just do whatever makes me happy. You’ll always be wrong, just make sure you’re wrong and happy!

What do you want her to do? Post a selfie of any tearing, scarred nipples and fat deposits so you can sleep better at night?

Genuine question - why does any woman need a 'healthy role model' in a celebrity? Every celebrity is over-privileged to a certain extent. And neurotic, screwed up and insecure to a certain extent, as well.

I actually like and admire some of the celebs mentioned on this thread but at the same time I doubt a single one of them is as shiny and beautiful and sorted as they appear on Instagram. They just have to portray a certain image, their livelihood depends on it. Which is actually really sad.

Mantra for all new mums : ALWAYS ASSUME A CELEBRITY'S LYING. Because they probably are. There's no need to call them out on anything, or write on their feed when they post unrealistic comments or photos on on social media. Just quietly think 'bollocks', and crack on with your day.

Celebrity mum role models are always bollocks. I'm old so Myleene Klass was touted as the gold standard back when I was having babies.

There will always be a push to create new mum influencers. As long as it makes money, new mums will have this shit marketed at them.

What do I think?

She is sharing her own lovely experience.

Let’s not forget that Stacey Solomon gets a shit ton of money and free things from being Relatable Mum who hasn’t washed her hair for two weeks. Best just to ground yourself in your actual material reality (which is probably somewhere in between free holidays to Cornwall and not washing your hair for a fortnight) and think of celebrities’ instagrams as being like watching a tv programme and therefore only to be looked at as long as that’s enjoyable for you, and not to be confused with real life or something to try and emulate.

We are talking about Stacey Dooley.

Read the thread. Plenty of posts are also about Stacey Solomon.

I've got a lot of issues with OP's phrase "a realistic new mum role model for women".
Women are all different and should do their own thing.
Also. the idea that we need role models - realistic or otherwise - to give us an insight into how to behave. We don't
She's a public figure and has broken a lot of glass ceilings in her career - good for her.