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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that Stacey Dooley isn't a realistic new mum role model for women

202 replies

NeverendingStory32 · 22/02/2023 14:33

I picked out Stacey Dooley because I've just been reading about her but I know this applies to many other celebrities. She gave birth to her daughter in January and she's already back to work and attending events. She's also posted photos of her slim post baby body and trendy, flattering outfits on social media. Obviously it depends on your experience of pregnancy and giving birth but does this image of post natal motherhood put pressure on women? To me, I see it as unrealistic for the majority of women, including myself and my own experiences. Why can't celebrities share more honest, typical reflections of early motherhood that the majority can relate to.

What do people think?

OP posts:
Swiftswatch · 22/02/2023 15:24

I quite like Stacey Dooley but it's just annoying to see that.

Annoying to see another woman who happens to be slim after birth, looks pretty together and either chooses to feels like she has to work?

Why does that annoy you?

This is actually such an anti woman post. You are only happy for women to share themselves as long as it validates you or make you feel better.

drpet49 · 22/02/2023 15:27

PurpleButterflyWings · 22/02/2023 14:35

There isn't a single celebrity mother that is a good, realistic new role model for women/mothers. They are all privileged, they all have money, they all have nannies and stylists on tap, and none of them have to worry about finances. (Or having as much time off as they want.)

It really pisses me off. One of the worst offenders, and the most irksome that I've known over the past few years is Myleene Klass. So condescending and patronising. Stacey is pretty much the same.

I came on to say this. No celebrity can being a good role for mums

skippy67 · 22/02/2023 15:28

Not all women struggle post partum.
Not all women struggle to lose baby weight. Why does that wind you up? Just live your life! There's no template for "new mums".

Butterflyhelp · 22/02/2023 15:28

She's had a baby with a man who'd been divorced three times by 36yo. Why would anyone want to be her?

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 22/02/2023 15:31

Butterflyhelp · 22/02/2023 15:28

She's had a baby with a man who'd been divorced three times by 36yo. Why would anyone want to be her?

Married and divorced three times by 36? Bloody hell. Who'd have the energy for that!

skippy67 · 22/02/2023 15:34

Butterflyhelp · 22/02/2023 15:28

She's had a baby with a man who'd been divorced three times by 36yo. Why would anyone want to be her?

So now we're going after her child's dad. Lovely.

Dacadactyl · 22/02/2023 15:35

Not everyone struggles after a baby though.

I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans about 10 days after both births and I wasn't even trying, but I was young which probably helped.

I wouldn't be rushing back to work like SD has tho but maybe she needs to keep her profile up to stay relevant.

Dazedandconfused170 · 22/02/2023 15:37

Coming off Instagram for quite a good few months helped my mental health massively after having a baby. The comparison to everyone was horrible

NeverendingStory32 · 22/02/2023 15:41

Dazedandconfused170 · 22/02/2023 15:37

Coming off Instagram for quite a good few months helped my mental health massively after having a baby. The comparison to everyone was horrible

I think this is it. Not all, granted, but many women compare themselves to others postnatally because it can be a challenging time.

OP posts:
quietlycontent · 22/02/2023 15:43

I think Kathryn Ryan is pretty realistic - pictures of jogging bottoms and breastfeeding whilst trying to talk to her 1 year old.

Her podcast is a good listen about realistic stuff

Deathraystare · 22/02/2023 15:49

One of the worst offenders, and the most irksome that I've known over the past few years is Myleene Klass

Oh yes! I am not a mum so have no interest in what she spouts out about child care etc but cannot stand her fullstop. She is everywhere! I go to look at a dress in Next online and there she is Bloody woman. She also often pops up in a newspaper in a bikini "celebrating her curves" or some other drivel. Go Away!!!

2crossedout1 · 22/02/2023 15:49

Some women have to return to work when their baby is very young (eg for financial reasons). They might find Stacey D a more realistic and helpful role model than a celeb mum who takes a year's maternity leave or becomes a SAHM.

Mary46 · 22/02/2023 15:49

Yes unrealistic for most of us agree. I found early days hard going. It prob helps though lots of money and people to help them!!

gogohmm · 22/02/2023 15:50

Remember these "celebrity mothers" are essentially self employed, if they aren't working they are not earning, the most they may get is maternity allowance. Most won't be able to afford maternity leave plus they can negotiate having their baby with them often. My friend who works for a local tech company by contrast is on full pay for 6 months then half pay for 6 months.

LunaBlueSkies · 22/02/2023 15:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

lunar1 · 22/02/2023 15:52

I looked fantastic PP, I had severe HG and spent half my pregnancies in hospital with an IV. I'd never been slimmer than when my sons were born, I also had pretty easy newborns.

Everyone is different, and we all know these women have all the money they need to get help in.

doodleygirl · 22/02/2023 15:54

What a horrible thread. Just no need for another type of woman shaming.

I was also back to my pre pregnancy size very quickly, should I have hidden away?

Butchyrestingface · 22/02/2023 15:55

She's also posted photos of her slim post baby body and trendy, flattering outfits on social media.

Where? Confused

I've just looked at Stacey Dooley's Instagram feed and there are very few post-birth photos and only two where you could say she was really posing in any way. One in a big animal print where you can't see her figure and the other in a black strapless dress.

She seems like an odd choice for this kind of criticism.

Catspyjamas17 · 22/02/2023 15:57

Stacey Solomon looks quite normal-shaped to me, not unrealistically skinny and perfect.

Just don't read this stuff if it upsets you. I haven't bought a women's magazine since I was 21, as I worked out they were just making you feel insecure to sell you stuff, and I'm 47 now. I hadn't even been aware of Stacey Dooley being pregnant or having a baby until I clicked on this thread. Celeb gossip does not have to be part of your life.

Sandra1984 · 22/02/2023 15:57

Why are people so gullible thinking that all is “glamour and glitter “ behind those carefully planned and choreographed celebrities social media feeds? She may have lost the weight but she can be on antidepressants and her baby should fleeing from health issues, we have no clue what goes on behind curtains of those fake Instagram smiles.

20viona · 22/02/2023 15:58

It can be realistic also to get your figure back! Iv had 2 kids and my stomach had no bump as soon as I'd given birth. People are different. Not everyone has a kid hanging off their tit for the first 6 months either.

MojoMoon · 22/02/2023 15:59

Why does she need to be a role model to all mothers?

Why do you need a celebrity to be a role model?

Social media is not real life and no one has an obligation to make you feel better by posting photos of their life being miserable.

If it upsets you to see her photos, then you can always log off social media or unfollow her etc.

BodyShapeWoes · 22/02/2023 15:59

Flipping heck I had a baby was home within 24 hours was back in my pre pregnancy jeans within 8/10 days (possibly slimmer) I’d hate the thought of someone judging me because it was very simple easy birth and I was back to normal (for me) quickly!!

Everyone is different 🤦‍♀️

SleepingStandingUp · 22/02/2023 15:59

So do you think Stacey is lying to her followers, or just that their experience isn't your "typical working Mom"?

Because declaring she's lying (Photoshop, forced back against her will cos Kev won't support her, crying into her pillow every night all whilst pretending she's perfect) , if you're right then of course that's unfair.
Saying it isn't typical so she shouldn't post on SM until she has a Real World problem seems a bit much

Dinneronmybfpillow · 22/02/2023 15:59

I had to unfollow quite a few people after the birth of DD. All their beautiful pictures of their babies with gorgeous outfits and expensive toiletries, tastefully decorated nurseries and expensive prams. It was so out of my affordability it just made me feel crap so had to stop looking at them. I knew all the lovely clothes and things had been gifted, but that made it worse!