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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered one off lift to colleague, turned into daily thing without pay!!

162 replies

TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 12:48

I’ve started a new job in November and one of my colleagues asked to be dropped off as a favour one day. Little did I know she would be waiting for me by the only exit on a daily basis. I’ve on numerous occasions made excuses and said I’m rushing to an appointment or my neighbour is locked out and I’ve got her spare indoors but to no avail. I’m what MN calls a pushover/ doormat. Im really upset as she doesn’t offer anything financially or even thank you. The worst thing is, I’ve given her the first lift home because she suffered a miscarriage and was taken ill at work. But because of that first kind act, she expected it everyday. I’m writing her a text message now as it’s getting too much now and I need to put my foot down. I don’t want to pussyfoot around her anymore.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 14:18

Mirabai · 22/02/2023 13:45

How much is your taxi habit eating into your wage, and how much has this woman cost you additionally thus far?

I simply can’t get my head around a situation in which “you live in the opposite direction so please pay for your own taxi” is not said after the initial lift.

She is costing me around $20 a month on a $500 salary.

OP posts:
Blondewithredlips · 22/02/2023 14:22

I think this is a genuine post. Could you stay late at work? Maybe read a book so she gets fed up waiting for you? Or meet the taxi elsewhere after telling her you are going somewhere after work?

Sparklfairy · 22/02/2023 14:22

So does she get in and say to the driver, "make a stop first via my house?" And you sit there and say nothing every time?!

kittensinthekitchen · 22/02/2023 14:26

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2023 13:54

First Post? Then you need to get in touch with mumsnet to see why someone else has been using your account

I don't know OP, so am only able to take this at face value; but where are you getting that from? An advanced search (yeah, I know) for OP's name only brings up this thread. As you'd expect, there are a lot of very similar usernames.

www.mumsnet.com/search/advanced?username=TwinMama6

Aposterhasnoname · 22/02/2023 14:34

TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 13:03

Yes 🙄

Show quote history

And the prize for the biggest drip feed of the week goes to……..

Original poster
TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 14:35

”Hi Cf, I took you home once as a human act of kindness from one mum to another. Things are getting tougher in (city) for us as a family.
I thought about your offer to use a taxi together but it’s not always possible to leave at the same time.

Every time I drop you off I pay a dollar extra per ride, so it’s adding up. You haven’t once contributed and always keep quiet. Yesterday I told you I had an appointment and you sat down in the taxi before me. I was too embarrassed to say anything. But I’m telling you now in black and white, I can’t do this any longer and from tomorrow onwards, you can take yourself home the same way you bring yourself to work. I don’t want to ever feel uncomfortable in a place of my work. Twinmama6”
SENT!!!
Thanks Mumsnetters!!!

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2023 14:35

Thanks, kittensinthekitchen - I think I might have stopped one click too soon before!

So not a first-time poster, then, but also not a prolific poster.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2023 14:37

So does she get in and say to the driver, "make a stop first via my house?" And you sit there and say nothing every time?!

It would be good if you just got the taxi to your home as normal and then she was just left stranded there like a lemon, further away from home than when she started!

Original poster
TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 14:48

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2023 14:35

Thanks, kittensinthekitchen - I think I might have stopped one click too soon before!

So not a first-time poster, then, but also not a prolific poster.

Sorry this might sound dumb, but do you mean poster as in me starting a post or posting replies on other peoples posts?!🤔

OP posts:
boatgirl81 · 22/02/2023 14:56

Sorry if already mentioned, could she be under the impression work is paying for the taxi? Is she clear that you are paying for it?

TheFireflies · 22/02/2023 14:59

And the OP has twins too

Original poster
TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 15:00

boatgirl81 · 22/02/2023 14:56

Sorry if already mentioned, could she be under the impression work is paying for the taxi? Is she clear that you are paying for it?

She knows I’m paying. I’ve sent her the above message 👆🏽,just awaiting a reply. I have really bad anxiety and low self esteem and always have great comebacks in my head but as the situation is unfolding in front of me, I freeze up😔

OP posts:
Treaclemine · 22/02/2023 15:01

How do you pay for the taxi? If she has never seen you pay she may think it is done by the company.
But if you pay for each journey, either with cash or card, lose your bag one day, and ask her to pay at her stop, for both of you.
(Better alert the driver the day before.) How to proceed then?
Depends how she plays it.

Original poster
TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 15:06

Treaclemine · 22/02/2023 15:01

How do you pay for the taxi? If she has never seen you pay she may think it is done by the company.
But if you pay for each journey, either with cash or card, lose your bag one day, and ask her to pay at her stop, for both of you.
(Better alert the driver the day before.) How to proceed then?
Depends how she plays it.

She knows how I pay for it and has asked me before when I was new, how much my journey was.

OP posts:
Newwardrobe · 22/02/2023 15:17

I think your message to her was harsh , probably needed though if her skin is as thick as it seems to be.

Grizzledstrawberry · 22/02/2023 15:19

Newwardrobe · 22/02/2023 15:17

I think your message to her was harsh , probably needed though if her skin is as thick as it seems to be.

I think after she got in the taxi when she had already been told no she needed a harsh text, you have to put your foot down with these kind of people or they will just keep taking you for a ride.

hekissedmybottom · 22/02/2023 15:38

AlisonDonut · 22/02/2023 13:06

Order two taxis? Get in the first one, when she gets in, get out and then get in the other one.

Bump this comment, this is a great idea.

UdoU · 22/02/2023 15:47

Well done on sending the message, OP.

Let us know her response.

Binfluencer · 22/02/2023 16:37

Here for the response...

Thesharkradar · 22/02/2023 17:14

I’m not in the uk anymore I’m in East Africa for the last 1.5 years
is it the norm to be pushy like that in the local culture? Maybe she takes your lack of push back as consent?

Grizzledstrawberry · 22/02/2023 17:18

I've got a feeling if she hasn't replied she's just going to be sat in the taxi again!

Twinedpeaks · 22/02/2023 17:29

TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 14:35

”Hi Cf, I took you home once as a human act of kindness from one mum to another. Things are getting tougher in (city) for us as a family.
I thought about your offer to use a taxi together but it’s not always possible to leave at the same time.

Every time I drop you off I pay a dollar extra per ride, so it’s adding up. You haven’t once contributed and always keep quiet. Yesterday I told you I had an appointment and you sat down in the taxi before me. I was too embarrassed to say anything. But I’m telling you now in black and white, I can’t do this any longer and from tomorrow onwards, you can take yourself home the same way you bring yourself to work. I don’t want to ever feel uncomfortable in a place of my work. Twinmama6”
SENT!!!
Thanks Mumsnetters!!!

Wow that is an unnecessarily rude message!

AliceOlive · 22/02/2023 17:52

@Twinedpeaks How is it rude?

Mirabai · 22/02/2023 17:53

How can a home located in the opposite direction from work only add a dollar per ride?

UdoU · 22/02/2023 18:03

Mirabai · 22/02/2023 17:53

How can a home located in the opposite direction from work only add a dollar per ride?

Same reason her taxi home is only $5. OP is in East Africa.