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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered one off lift to colleague, turned into daily thing without pay!!

162 replies

TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 12:48

I’ve started a new job in November and one of my colleagues asked to be dropped off as a favour one day. Little did I know she would be waiting for me by the only exit on a daily basis. I’ve on numerous occasions made excuses and said I’m rushing to an appointment or my neighbour is locked out and I’ve got her spare indoors but to no avail. I’m what MN calls a pushover/ doormat. Im really upset as she doesn’t offer anything financially or even thank you. The worst thing is, I’ve given her the first lift home because she suffered a miscarriage and was taken ill at work. But because of that first kind act, she expected it everyday. I’m writing her a text message now as it’s getting too much now and I need to put my foot down. I don’t want to pussyfoot around her anymore.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Motherhubbardscupboard · 22/02/2023 13:06

Definitely makes it easier, just say you can't afford to keep going in the opposite direction and also don't have time to factor that extra trip in now, sorry. Although I don't see how anyone could have let themselves be in this situation for so long.....

ShimmeringShirts · 22/02/2023 13:07

How is she getting in your taxi? Is the driver stopping and allowing her in? You just tell the driver not to stop for her surely?

LauraIAm · 22/02/2023 13:07

The taxi but makes it easier to speak to her about it actually. Would you be happy to share if she split the cost? How about this text:

’Hi CF colleague - I can’t afford to keep paying for a taxi home for you. Would you like to split 50:50 going forward or would you prefer to stop lift sharing? Let me know, TwinMama’

catfunk · 22/02/2023 13:07

This can not be real Ffs

AlwaysLatte · 22/02/2023 13:09

Next time make sure you drop in to a great aunt for a cup of tea and a very long chat about her ailments.

Veryverycalmnow · 22/02/2023 13:09

Does she struggle to read social cues? Maybe you need to be clear. It isn't rude. What she is doing is rude. I don't drive and would never ask for a lift.

If you need an excuse, could you say it's your routine to have a certain phonecall on speaker on journey home? Maybe a private conversation age can't be part of?

However, if it was me, I would speak to her clearly stating no more lifts.

Veryverycalmnow · 22/02/2023 13:09

she not age!

ch4shirecat1234 · 22/02/2023 13:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 22/02/2023 13:11

She got in your taxi?? And it had to go the other way to drop her off??? Which means I'm guessing you had to pay more at the end?? FUCK THAT!!

Noshowlomo · 22/02/2023 13:15

As someone above said, she pays half or gets her own taxi… (and probably best she gets her own bloody taxi!!!

viques · 22/02/2023 13:16

Wow, the taxi element makes this a very superior giving a lift to a cf thread. Thankyou OP.

Rubs hands together and awaits outcome.

amorose · 22/02/2023 13:17

When the taxi comes make sure she gets on first, shut the door firmly and wave bye and say see you tomorrow.

EekGoesTheBaby · 22/02/2023 13:17

I agree with PP--the taxi makes the CF-ery much worse but also easier to put an end to it. She should be embarrassed!

clairelouwho · 22/02/2023 13:18

Just tell her straight and say no. She will know she’s being a CF and taking an absolute lend of you and is just pushing it as long as she can because she’s getting away with it. None of this nonsense that she’s unaware. She knows and is happy to take the absolute piss out of you.

Don’t give her a reason as she will only try and work around that and twist it. Don’t come to an agreement where she contributes to the fare. She hasn’t offered thus far and any offer now would likely be false and will probably fizzle out when she settles back into routine.

She can order and pay for her own taxi.

AgentJohnson · 22/02/2023 13:19

You haven’t being giving her a lift. You’ve been paying for her lift!!!!! Only you can rescue yourself from this CF. Big girl pants on and tell her that the days of you paying for her taxi are over, she’s more than free to book her own taxi but you will no longer be paying for it.

As much as she’s a CF, you acting like a doormat has brought you here. You can only fix your contribution to the current dynamic.

wildseas · 22/02/2023 13:19

If she gets into the taxi again say “I don’t think we’re going the same way- I’ll let you have this one” and get out again leaving her to pay.

BruceAndNosh · 22/02/2023 13:19

So if a direct taxi home costs £10 and going via her house costs £12, she's costing you £2 every day...

BruceAndNosh · 22/02/2023 13:21

Next time, tell the taxi to drop you off first then double back to drop her off... She can pay.

MrsElm · 22/02/2023 13:21

So ask the taxi driver to drop you off first, then get out and leave her to pay when she gets home?

viques · 22/02/2023 13:21

Does she think you get the taxi for free through work or through a disability payment? Not that it excuses her behaviour but it might be a reason for it.

(clutching straws rather than pearls, sorry!)

BruceAndNosh · 22/02/2023 13:22

BruceAndNosh · 22/02/2023 13:21

Next time, tell the taxi to drop you off first then double back to drop her off... She can pay.

Actually, if the OP has a taxi account, that would backfire

Mintyt · 22/02/2023 13:22

Tell her you cannot expect a ride home anymore and she was rude to jump in your taxi yesterday.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/02/2023 13:23

Op you are ridiculous, woman up and tell her to get her own taxi!!

Tbh my mind is boggling at anyone being able to afford a taxi every day anyway 🤯

Thesharkradar · 22/02/2023 13:23

TwinMama6 · 22/02/2023 12:59

Yesterday took the biscuit, I said bye to the admin ladies and said I’m rushing home can’t stay and chat. I’ve got a lot to do. As my taxi arrived, she was by the door one minute and the next she got in my taxi. I was gobsmacked 😶 and stared at her as I told her during our break time that I was going in a different direction today. So make your own way home.

Show quote history

I would have said to the driver, ok she can have this taxi and then I would have got out and got myself another taxi
I don't mean to be rude but have you got 'doormat' tattooed on your forehead?

Thedogscollar · 22/02/2023 13:25

Jeez the taxi update😳
She must have a hide like a rhinoceros to carry on like this.
Some people are unbelievably entitled.

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