Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Yes I agree.

Having said that, who the fuck eats two packets of biscuits at once and thinks that's normal??

I mean, it’s exactly what OP said. Measly for a takeaway. Is your comprehension shite or are you being contrary just to rile people ? Either way it’s tedious.

That's because if you share something the other person gets all the calories in their bit 🤣

I think this country is obsessed with food tbh, my dd is recovering from an ED and it's really opened my eyes to how many people have disordered eating and beliefs around food.

The amount of fat phobia is also crazy, not everyone is designed to be thin, women generally are meant to have a few curves but we are brain washed into believing this is wrong.

Yes some people over eat but under eating is just as problematic if not more so.

@LuckySantangelo35 I eat quick
A decade in emergency services where you eat when you can before you get called back. It's just habit

I don't care how anyone else eats but I hate people commenting on my food
"That looks awful/what is it/oh I could never eat all that"
I'm not asking you to eat it so STFU

I'm overweight but I had an ED and people commenting on my food often makes me relapse especially if they're commenting I'm eating a lot or I should eat less/such a food is bad for me

I would like to vote both ways. I think of course that's thoughtless and irritating company during a meal, but also they're living their own lives and we're all happier if we don't compare ourselves to others or let their perspectives on things negatively influence our own sense of self worth.

This is my mum. She used to say it to my kids as well, suggest they'd be greedy to eat three meals a day. I told her to stop that nonsense, and she did to be fair to her. She still raises an eyebrow at me having dinner when I'd had lunch 7 hours earlier, but I'm not impressionable 😄

Exactly, I'm not replying to these posters trying to nit pick and derail any more. I've explained what I meant.

I wouldn't have liked to listen to twittering comments about how much food there is or how stuffed they'd feel either...but nor would I have wanted to sit near someone gobbling fish and chips like a pig at a trough..
Maybe eat your lunch somewhere else if it spoils your appetite.

I eat slowly too, but I'm not and presumably you're not, making a big song and dance about how little you're eating or how you wont eat for the next three days? That's the big difference.

Probably a lot of these have had weight loss surgery. Many people don't share they have had it.

It’s never affected me when people are like this. I love food and if someone is going to act all righteous and pious around it to feel virtuous I’ll still tuck in regardless. I’m not going to apologise to anyone for having a healthy appetite. If you have an appetite for food then you probably have an appetite for life (that’s my motto anyway 😁).

"No one should be commenting on what other adults are eating, if everyone played by this rule then your so-called 'performative eaters' wouldn't feel the need to say anything."

I think it's a bit of a stretch to imply that the people going on at the OP were only doing that because someone had previously done it to them, there's no reason to think that!

I've had one or two colleagues who do this, none now thank goodness. Tends to be either people who have genuine eating disorders and freak out around food (or as they would see it "too much" food - several on this thread I would think fall into this category) for deep set psychological reasons, or people who are just judgemental and maybe a bit bored/boring and want something said to fill the time.

My response tends to be "well no-one's forcing you to eat it Moira, just put it in the bin if you don't want it".

This is absolutely nothing to do with minding how much or how little other people eat, it's about people like OP being indirectly criticised for being huge porkers by the insistence of other people on giving a running commentary on people's eating habits, whatever they may be. I can completely see that if you have a small appetite or have to go for a small portion for medical reasons it would be just as irritating to have someone say "oh goodness is that all you're having! I wouldn't last an hour on that, don't you want to get a sandwich as well?" or what have you.

I only notice my colleague's eating habits if they never eat anything, I have one who always "had a big breakfast" and another who I've never seen eat anything at all - both as very skinny and not very happy and I suspect have EDs but I'm not about to go round commentating on it.

Being vegetarian I agree! I wonder whether an alternative was available.

Even in the days when I did eat fish, a box of greasy fish and chips would not be my choice at lunchtime and I too would eat very little if any of it.

Well I’m a slow eater, I can’t eat big meals and I do get full up quickly - I don’t go on about it however.

It’s annoying when people roll their eyes at me and say stuff like “don’t worry, you won’t put a stone on by eating one decent meal” - fuck off. The more people watch me and comment the more slowly I’ll eat.

On the other hand, I hate to see people wolfing food down like they havnt eaten in a week, if makes me feel sick.

I do think if the very sight of a certain portion of food puts you off eating at all, you might want to have a deeper think about why that is. If someone serves me a huge plate of something I just eat what I do want and leave the rest, it's not a problem.

I've not read the whole thread, just the original post and the first page (which was enough) so apologies if this has already been said, but why aren't some of the posters who are agreeing with OP at least showing a little compassion and considering that people who eat very little or who make a song and dance about food could well have an eating disorder?

Eating disorders are a very long way from irritating, they are life threatening and cause a lot of misery. They are also often hidden in plain sight. Please consider this as a cause for the Tedious performative under eaters you are criticising.

Anyone read The Fuck It Diet by Caroline Dooner? I have an eating disorder and found it helpful.

Undereaters (including dieters) are not eating enough by definition, so they're hungry, and obsessed with food. People who eat enough to satisfy and nourish their bodies do not go on about food all the time. You may eat a little or a lot but as long as it's enough for you, you won't be compelled to talk about it or judge others. Not eating enough causes many mental health difficulties.

What I don't get is the need to 'advertise'! Eat little or eat a lot, eat slow or wolf it down - just don't 'advertise' your eating habits.

My MIL is like that - she looks and eats like a bird and keeps saying 'oh I couldn't possibly', 'I'll just have this handful of greens', etc. However, when we stayed with them for a weekend, I caught her sneaking into 'sweets cupboard' late at night for chocolate.

Ah this is my MIL to a tee.
Each time we go out for a meal , me, DH and FIL order as usual then MIL makes a performative "oh just a salad for me, please". Waiter asks to clarify, do you mean the chicken salad? Prawn Salad? Avocado Budda Bowl?

NO JUST A PLAIN SALAD, FROM THE SIDE MENU, BUT AS A MAIN.

Out comes a bowl of plain salad OH I COULDN'T POSSIBLY EAT ALL OF THIS, IT'S FAR TOO MUCH.

It's fine for me if she thinks the portion is too big, it's just the cringe performance of it all, making sure all the tables nearby can hear that SHE IS ONLY HAVING A SALAD AND WON'T BE ABLE TO FINISH IT.

I find this so very refreshing to read. My ex MIL is like this. Would make remarks about me (‘she’s still stuffing her face’) at the dinner table. She made so much fuss about food and has very poor table manners.

My mum used to do that. I thought she was the only one who sliced up a Mars bar (she’d have a slice a day or something and could make a box of Maltesers last a week). My mum had food issues when I was growing up but luckily it never rubbed off on me, I like food (and chocolate) too much.

I don't believe the OP said they were 'light snacks' I believe she said they were 'something small'...

They might be a hefty snack, but they're both pretty small for a meal

I hate the performative bit, the constantly wittering on and on about it - doesn't matter if its over consumption, under consumption, deciding a particular food item or food group is verboten as the devils work or indeed, is the cure to all ills...

Shut up and eat however much of it you want and talk about something else, one comment is sufficient... the rest is being a dick.

As for people who go around touching food, cutting it in half and then putting half back for some unsuspecting stranger (or to be wasted as everyone knows its been manhandled)... get in the bloody sea. If you only want half, only eat half and leave the rest on your plate or take it home for later!

Two people in my exercise class yesterday, going on and on about eating half a pizza and how bad it was, I can smash a full pizza and have dessert!

Well yes, there was the choice of the range they sell in chip shop or going to the canteen or shops or eating packed lunch. No one was forced to eat fish & chips.