Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

@eldorado02 they are good rules. I often leave food on my plate. My argument is that eating more than I need to, is also waste. I would rather the waste go in the bin. This is why I prefer to serve myself. Some people seem so judgemental about leaving food on the plate.

Eyes on your own plate is really the key isn't it. The only time it is appropriate to comment on what someone else is eating is to say it looks good or to ask what it is (in an interesting not disgusted way).

My MIL is Italian and is exactly like this. However, she’s also in the demographic that’s been singled out as more likely to do this* (women 50+) so it perhaps speaks to the power of the norms surrounding food when she was younger. Though interestingly her sister is totally not like this, though one could also read it as a rejection of MIL’s killjoy attitude to food! Broadly, Italian attitudes to food are different to here but you’ll still get some people who behave like the people described on this thread.

• I think women of all ages do this, sadly, but it’s interesting how so many so seem to be posters’ DMs/MILs/aunts etc.

This has been such an interesting thread, thanks @SlimPig for starting it.

@DesignforLife

"Incredible isn't it, an adult human eating their dinner. I'm surprised you've not seen such a thing before but perhaps from now on you could keep your amazement to yourself as everyone is bored with the commentary now." Just in case there's a next time.

Or as per a PP just threaten to eat him for afters.

"@eldorado02 they are good rules. I often leave food on my plate. My argument is that eating more than I need to, is also waste. I would rather the waste go in the bin. This is why I prefer to serve myself. Some people seem so judgemental about leaving food on the plate."

I totally agree. Eating more than you want and need is also waste.
This 'finish your plate' thing is pretty harmful.

It cuts both ways, I have the reverse problem, people saying things like "ooo you don't eat very much, do you, is that aaaall you're having for your lunch" - um yes, what's it to you? I eat what I want at the time and if this is what I need now, this is what I have. (I don't say that, but it amazes me how people comment on an adult's appetite, it's completely embarrassing to have to justify it.

That's not the reverse problem, it's the same problem!

My partner's mum eats next to nothing,everything has to be cut in half 'because that's too much for me' but she never shuts up about how greedy she is.

We'll go out for a meal,she'll waste 75% of her food,then go home and moan about how small the portions were 'because I'm a guts I am'.

As mentioned upthread by others too, I really can't stand when people cut things in half and then leave the other half for someone else (partners and spouses exempt).

It's OTHER people doing it that turns my stomach. Like when someone at work buys doughnuts and leaves them in the kitchen and someone cuts one in half and then through the day you see it getting smaller, because people - or possibly the same person? - just cut off tiny bits. Just fucking eat it or take it to your desk or fridge and save some for YOURSELF for later/tomorrow/whenever. Don't take bitesize peices and make a doghnut fucking communal ffs 😷

I also get stabby when asking people if they want something, they say no - but then want some of mine. FUCK OFF. I tell people now if they want some, to say so because I'm not sharing. And then don't.

It's also disgusting and rude to stick your hand in someone elses food, people that do that, please enlighten us all as to why? To quote that ad from back in the day, do that to me and you'll feel my fork 😂

Sod that! I’m the person who brings all the choc/sweets/cakes/doughnuts at our work. We all get stuck in 🤣 None of us give a flying monkeys. I used to work somewhere where people (usually men) felt it appropriate to comment in my lunch and weight. They got short shrift and soon learned to wind it in.

It makes women come across as feeble and pathetic when they do this. If it's genuinely too much food for you, just don't eat it all. There is no need to bang on about it 🙄
I used to work next to an entire team of these - they spent all day discussing calorie content and hair products. I remember one asking if her low fat noodle snack would have more calories if she added more water than instructed. Mind blowingly stupid. Plus all of their conversations were soooooooo boring. I can only imagine it would be like shagging a dry, hair obsessed, empty headed stick.

I might be a bit judgemental though...

Like Joey from Friends, I DO NOT SHARE food.

This whole thread makes me die laughing, I don’t if it’s because it is very annoying or because I’ve been that person before. Usually (for me) the show is when I’m feeling embarrassed or ashamed about my weight.

in the USA they call them ‘Almond moms’ according to Tiktok

Sure, but if some people want to, good for them!
I just shared a pizza with a friend. So what?

Actually yes to the people who don’t want any then want to share. I used to live with a bunch of girls and one was awful for this. She’d sit and pick on at her dinner while sighing that she had no appetite. Then want some of whatever anyone else had. Just eat your dinner like a sensible person.

I absolutely get what your saying. It's not the amount they are eating it's the running commentary of the amount they are eating. There's a woman I work with who does the whole "oh ill just half this" craic. Then 10mins later she's back for the other half while protesting that she shouldnt be eating it 🙄 thankfully the rest of us all eat without the running commentary unless it's looking for more lol

This absolutely. We are lucky to get free lunches (private school) and they do puddings. I'm sick of people going, 'I know it's naughty' etc. I just tell them to have it if they want it and if not, don't.

No she hasnt! She has just said she doesn't want people to continuously justify why they aren't going to finish their food ie. make a performance of the meal. She has said several times she doesn't care what they eat or how much.

She has gone on and on and on about how it was a ‘normal’ portion. It sounds like this was an issue - had it been what she seemed was too much, would it have bothered her so much?

For some people that might be a big portion. It sounds like her colleagues have issues with food but tbh it sounds like she does too. Most people wouldn’t be bothered enough to start a thread or change their eating speed based on others behaviour.

I used to flat share with a group of girls likw this

One of them always always left half her dinner uneaten. Every day no matter what she had

Why not just make a smaller portion?

Mind blowing

I love people like this

I gladly finish theirs too and hope that they secretly regret not eating it themselves

One of the things I love about wfh is that you dine have a constant supply of sugary shite dois yet on you in the office.

people take offence when you say “looks good hit not for me” and repeatedly comment on it.

frankly if im having something sugary or a treat I’d prefer to have it relaxing with my family.

😂😂😂

YANBU. It's diet culture and it's poisonous. Unfortunately it's what we've all grown up with and it's pervasive. I would give anything to find some way to collectively forget about this as a society, so the next generation has a better chance then us, but reading this thread there's clearly no chance.
'sounds like you eat too much'
'she was a size 20 so I guess I was right '
'were they on the bigger side?'
Other people's bodies and what they choose to eat is none of your business. Noone cares what you are eating or why.

I think she is saying a 'normal portion' as in, the prob you would get if you ordered a box of fish and chips from any takeaway. Like, getting a 10" pizza if you ordered a 10" pizza. Eg. Why would they go on and on in surprise and shock at the size of the pizza/box of chips when that is what was ordered, and is the size it always is.