Page 31 | Tedious performative under eaters

SlimPig · 2023-02-22T10:30:04+00:00

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet. Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal. I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed. Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

tulips27 · 23/02/2023 10:41

I don't know if you can tell the scale but it was this one:

thecoeliacplate.com/mands-gluten-free/ms-brownie/

Bubblebubblebah · 23/02/2023 10:47

tulips27 · 23/02/2023 10:41

I don't know if you can tell the scale but it was this one:

thecoeliacplate.com/mands-gluten-free/ms-brownie/

That's under 50g of brownie unless I am mistaken. Which is less than Twix pack

Sparklfairy · 23/02/2023 10:56

tulips27 · 23/02/2023 10:41

I don't know if you can tell the scale but it was this one:

thecoeliacplate.com/mands-gluten-free/ms-brownie/

She couldn't possibly manage 211 calories in one go?

xogossipgirlxo · 23/02/2023 11:01

If you can't manage, then you can't, but you can not manage quietly without "oooooomg, I'm so stuffed I won't eat anything else tonight. It's so sweet it makes me sick" 😂etc. I have a colleague in the office who barely eats anything. She never eats sweets on someone's birthday or doesn't help herself with buffet lunch etc., but she doesn't make any fuss about it, and if she didn't tell me (1:1 pleasant conversation about diets, food choices, fitness etc.), no one would even notice. She just doesn't eat and doesn't comment on her or anyone else's choices.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 23/02/2023 11:07

DesignforLife · 23/02/2023 09:58

Interesting info about Victorian women and southern belles. My sister does this - she's actually very large but never eats in front of others; she'll do the whole "oh my goodness I could never eat all that" before picking at food, leaving 3/4 on her plate and making faces at those of us eating our meals. I know for a fact though that she's stuffing herself beforehand and wants to be seen as having a dainty appetite in public so that people don't fat shame her. In doing so, she's probably contributing to her weight issues. It's really sad and I hate the fact that society does this to people.

Which leads me to... my mother! Yes, my sister has picked this up very close to home. Mum is the oscar winner of performance under eaters and policing others' plates. DH and I now regualrly quote one of her most ridiculous moments whenever one of us asks the other what we fancy for lunch; "Lunch? LUNCH??? You had lunch yesterday! I can't beelive you're eating lunch two days in a row. Oh it makes me ill to think about it".

But one of the worst offenders I've known was a man. We were out for dinner for SiL's birthday and I ended up sitting opposite her father. We had some shared garlic bread on the table as a starter, then the mains came - a decent but not particualrly oversized plate of pasta for me. "You're not going to actually eat that after having that slice of bread?!" was his first comment and then he spent the rest of the meal giving the whole table a running commentary; "she's going in again for another forkful, I just don't believe it. Would you look at that. She's still going. I've never seen a woman each so much food, it's disgusting. Surely you must be full by now, no? You're still eating? She actually eat that whole bowl - I feel sick just thinking about it".

I think I'd have punched him tbh. How fucking rude!!!

Original poster

SlimPig · 23/02/2023 11:18

I'd have been tempted to order another dinner and forced it down. What a twat. And I'd definitely have had dessert.

OP posts:

xogossipgirlxo · 23/02/2023 11:20

Wow, I wish someone recorded this man and showed it to him.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 23/02/2023 11:29

@HowcanIgetoutofthisalive why did no one pull him up on it? It's appalling and incredibly tedious. I'd tell him he was sounding unhinged.

tulips27 · 23/02/2023 11:29

Feeling bad for slagging off my friend on here now! She's an absolutely lovely and fantastic person in all other ways. Perhaps this one thing grated on me because I am bigger than her and I always felt it was aimed at me, which is my problem and not hers.

BellePeppa · 23/02/2023 11:32

SallyWD · 22/02/2023 20:12

Some people really do have small appetites though and struggle to eat big portions. I don't think they did anything wrong by mentioning it.
I have a very healthy appetite and can eat any man under the table! I was talking to 2 female colleagues recently and we were talking about fish and chips. They both said you get far too many chips and they buy one portion of chips for 4 people!! This blew my mind. Not only do I eat every single one of my chips but I eat a lot of my children's chips too (they're not keen on chips). Appetites really do vary.

I find they give too many chips. We don’t have them often, maybe once or twice a year but I stopped buying a portion per person as it was a waste of chips and money. I don’t say anything though, just serve them up and no one’s the wiser. I do like chop shop chips though, especially when they’re quite squishy.

BellePeppa · 23/02/2023 11:32

I find they give too many chips. We don’t have them often, maybe once or twice a year but I stopped buying a portion per person as it was a waste of chips and money. I don’t say anything though, just serve them up and no one’s the wiser. I do like chop shop chips though, especially when they’re quite squishy.

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Chip shop!!

Vohgue · 23/02/2023 11:37

"Lunch? LUNCH??? You had lunch yesterday! I can't believe you're eating lunch two days in a row.!" Should've been the name of the thread 😀

Vohgue · 23/02/2023 11:38

Sorry that was quoting @DesignforLife

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/02/2023 11:50

People who bang on and on about 'is that all you're having' or 'but surely you want a proper drink' are just as tedious, for sure. I don't think anyone has said that's ok or that they're a bundle of laughs to eat with.

I've experienced this as well as the performative tiny eaters and the 'are you REALLY going to eat that' commenters.

It really doesn't matter what it is they're twattling on about, it just needs to stop!

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/02/2023 12:00

Surely chip shop portions are specifically relevant to the chip shop you frequent.

I have two local chippies, in one the 'small' portion is three times the size of the other shops 'small', for about the same price.

So I don't understand how people are making such bold statements that 'no one can eat a ... portion of chips' - how do you know. You mean you can't, from your local chippy.

Chip shops do tend to do big portions of chips because they're far cheaper than fish/sausage/pies etc and that can be a draw for customers who feel like they're getting a generous quantity and thus value for money - but they're certainly not all the same! (and if fish and chips made everyone feel ill, we wouldn't have so many chippies and it wouldn't be so bloody popular would it!).

anonymous98 · 23/02/2023 12:04

Not sure who said this, but the comment about being overfed by fat-shaming parents is very true.

I was slightly overweight as a child because my father (who I saw on weekends) would push treats on me - cakes, chocolate, sweets etc. My mum didn't really let me eat sugar (she has her own food issues) so I would obviously scoff all of it and cry about feeling sick afterwards. He never ate any of the rubbish he gave me because he was on the nutritious cigarette and coffee, depressed divorcee diet.

Once I got to be about nine, the comments about me needing to lose weight started. A particular favourite of mine was, 'it's good that you're running because you need to melt off that fat' (English is his second language). I've now grown up and have very low self-esteem and pretty much loathe my body. I also inherited his crippling hypochondria, but that's another story.

Also YANBU OP. Some people genuinely have small appetites/cannot eat things and that's fine. But I do hate the incessant need of some people to broadcast just how little they eat, how disciplined they are, how much everyone else is eating etc.

StripyHorse · 23/02/2023 12:05

I once went out on a work do, and one of the women complained because her boyfriend, who also worked there, pinched the last chips off her plate - she didn't want the staff to think she was a piggy. I had polished off everything on my plate.

My relief when I changed jobs and realised I had normal colleagues... snow prevented one from coming to the Christmas do, but her meal was paid for - the rest of us made out that she was still coming so we could share the extra 🤣

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 23/02/2023 12:18

StripyHorse · 23/02/2023 12:05

I once went out on a work do, and one of the women complained because her boyfriend, who also worked there, pinched the last chips off her plate - she didn't want the staff to think she was a piggy. I had polished off everything on my plate.

My relief when I changed jobs and realised I had normal colleagues... snow prevented one from coming to the Christmas do, but her meal was paid for - the rest of us made out that she was still coming so we could share the extra 🤣

Why do these people think restaurants serve what they do? They dont serve it to be left.

It's all very well leaving it if you are full, but deliberately leaving some on principle or to be noticed, when you could or wanted to eat it, is bizarre.

It's the same as the people that say I serve/eat what is appropriate for my height/weight/age, or what the portion/calorie recommendation is. I always wonder, but are you full though? They never state whether they are perma-hungry or not.

Fizbosshoes · 23/02/2023 12:32

BellePeppa · 23/02/2023 11:32

Chip shop!!

Show quote history

I like skinny chips, but dislike chip shop chips.
I'm not a teeny tiny eater by any stretch but I've never managed to get the right amount of chips at five guys.
I ordered 1 large portion the other day between DS (13) and his friend (neither meet the MN strapping teen standard) and myself...but we couldn't eat them all. There was literally half a carrier bag of them.(They seem to give you half a carrier bag of chips regardless how many portion sizes you order) I took the spare ones home and reheated in the oven for DD.

Thiscannotbetrue · 23/02/2023 12:45

I love those salads a perfect size.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 23/02/2023 12:49

NotAnotherBathBomb · 23/02/2023 11:29

@HowcanIgetoutofthisalive why did no one pull him up on it? It's appalling and incredibly tedious. I'd tell him he was sounding unhinged.

Yeah, quite!
@DesignforLife you can guarantee the next time (if there is one) you see this man at a meal, he will be nudging everyone and saying "oh look! it's Design over there, the one who eats enormous amounts of food with no shame! Are you troughing through the menu again tonight Design?" 😡

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 23/02/2023 12:53

DesignforLife · 23/02/2023 09:58

Interesting info about Victorian women and southern belles. My sister does this - she's actually very large but never eats in front of others; she'll do the whole "oh my goodness I could never eat all that" before picking at food, leaving 3/4 on her plate and making faces at those of us eating our meals. I know for a fact though that she's stuffing herself beforehand and wants to be seen as having a dainty appetite in public so that people don't fat shame her. In doing so, she's probably contributing to her weight issues. It's really sad and I hate the fact that society does this to people.

Which leads me to... my mother! Yes, my sister has picked this up very close to home. Mum is the oscar winner of performance under eaters and policing others' plates. DH and I now regualrly quote one of her most ridiculous moments whenever one of us asks the other what we fancy for lunch; "Lunch? LUNCH??? You had lunch yesterday! I can't beelive you're eating lunch two days in a row. Oh it makes me ill to think about it".

But one of the worst offenders I've known was a man. We were out for dinner for SiL's birthday and I ended up sitting opposite her father. We had some shared garlic bread on the table as a starter, then the mains came - a decent but not particualrly oversized plate of pasta for me. "You're not going to actually eat that after having that slice of bread?!" was his first comment and then he spent the rest of the meal giving the whole table a running commentary; "she's going in again for another forkful, I just don't believe it. Would you look at that. She's still going. I've never seen a woman each so much food, it's disgusting. Surely you must be full by now, no? You're still eating? She actually eat that whole bowl - I feel sick just thinking about it".

Did you not tell him to fuck off??! 🤬🤬🤬 after the first comment about bread I'd have shot him a death stare and told him to keep his comments to himself. It's bullying and completely unacceptable.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 23/02/2023 13:04

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 23/02/2023 12:49

Yeah, quite!
@DesignforLife you can guarantee the next time (if there is one) you see this man at a meal, he will be nudging everyone and saying "oh look! it's Design over there, the one who eats enormous amounts of food with no shame! Are you troughing through the menu again tonight Design?" 😡

Show quote history

he's an absolute cunt. Horrible that no one will stand up for you. Hopefully there is no next time.

ihavespoken · 23/02/2023 13:34

Chooksnroses · 23/02/2023 07:48

You're doing what a lot of people are complaining about! She probably wasn't thinking a huge slice of quiche and a big pile of chips! And the carb on carb nonsense! Quiche is mainly protein with a bit of carb to hold it together!

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Thanks @Chooksnroses Also, carbs are fuel 🙄

eldorado02 · 23/02/2023 13:45

Two simple rules about food and eating in my house:

you eat as much as your body tells you it wants or needs (which varies from meal to meal, IME); and
eyes on your own plate

Seems to keep things pretty harmonious! I had to tell my FIL “eyes on your own plate” when he kept making comments about how much my BIL was eating at Christmas dinner. A friendly but firm rejoinder was all that was necessary and we moved on seamlessly.

These rules are in direct opposition to how I grew up (finish the plate and be subject to comments about how much I was eating - bizarrely contradictory, in a way!) as I want my child to eat intuitively and not ascribe and moral value to food and quantity thereof.