Childfree people ranting about parents

[the7Vabo]

Came across a thread on another site full of people ranting about children entitled “parents not everything is about you.” I get it to a point, as a parent I think society has become somewhat a overly child-centred. I assume however that the odd stories you see about parents demanding people give up train seats for ten year olds are just that, the odd story of unreasonable behaviour that people in all groups can be guilty of.

The extent of the comments on that thread baffled me. Full of I’m so glad I don’t have children because X, Y. It’s one thing to want to be child free which to me is a perfectly valid life choice, but I’m baffled by the level of bitching about parents & children. If someone wants to be child free why can’t they simply be child free & accept that others didn’t make that choice instead of ranting about how parents are always on at them about how fulfilled they are while at the same time ranting about how terrible it would be to have kids.

So someone actually said to you I want X week off just to piss off Jane cos she's got kids? That really happened?

@Moonicorn I know some parents who seem to love their pet more than their child.

"the team feel is is the fairest way" – or the team members with children, whose needs are valued more highly than others so they generally get their choice of holiday, feel it is the fairest way?

You have made it pretty clear in your posts that you value the needs of employees with children above the needs of employees without. Perhaps this is why the childfree employee is – as you so eloquently put it – being "petty".

Note I said ‘decent’ parents.

The reputation you say you have on this thread, judged by others, treated without concern, as I said in my opening post this is not something I have experienced where childless women felt this way, in fact my experience has been the opposite hence my example of a childless woman treating a mother without concern.

I don't judge childfree people at all. I'm jealous of their lives and freedoms in many ways and it's a totally valid choice. But you absolutely no not understand the love you feel for a child until you've had one - it's totally overwhelming. And your dog is NOTHING LIKE a substitute child ffs.

Sorry to make you look silly but the majority of my team are childless but fortunately they are not selfish and petty and consider the needs of others. The others in turn, are considerate of them and the working pattern they prefer and never complain about working the bulk of weekends and bank holidays, it’s all about compromise.

You know it’s not about you because as you pointed out, you never benefitted from your colleagues working half terms so that you didn’t have to. Many parents do expect that. I work with them. That bothers me because it’s not my job or responsibility. I criticise them for acting as though it is.

The fact that you think that means I’m criticising children for having needs is a touch over-dramatic.

I really don't get this either.

I have children (to be totallh transparent), my cats are still more important TO ME than some randomers kid. That doesn't mean if I saw said random child I'm distress, I wouldn't do everything in my power to help, but on a daily level, yes of course I consider my own pets as more important.

It does not mean we don't know what real love is, which the majority of childfree women have been told.

Dreamstate but you are being completely unrealistic if you think you are entitled to not hear tantrums if you have chosen to be childfree. I always fell over myself to stop tantrums and upset to my own detriment as I was like a Zombie from the sleep deprivation. I didn't leave the baby for a second to cry just constantly breastfeeding to ensure my neighbours weren't disturbed but sometimes like when they are teething or ill with a temperature the crying continues whatever you do. I get that you haven't chosen to have children but how could anyone make that better for you, they are not behaving selfishly, it is in some cases unavoidable!

@JorisBonson And are being told on this thread - the last few posts all about how silly we are to think our love for our pets could ever compare to their superior type of love.

That's just pathetic. Really.

Why is it pathetic?

Your cats are more important than people?
That's bizarre.

Meh, it’s human nature to validate your decision by dissing other people’s.

Im childfree by choice and on threads about the housing crisis ive often seen posts on here that people without kids should live in shared housing.

If you do manage to get social housing its a poky little flat where you cant even fit two people in the kitchen at the same time.

Don't worry. You haven't made me look silly. Your posts have made it perfectly clear what you value as a "good reason" for someone to take leave – and the fact that the majority of your team is childless/childfree doesn't really have any bearing on this. At my previous workplaces, the majority were also childless/childfree – and those with children were still given far more flexibility while we were expected to work around their needs. The childless/childfree employees would have been perceived as being "difficult" by management if we didn't. In fact, rather like the woman you have labelled as "petty". Expecting to be treated like equals in the workplace does not equate to being "unkind" or "petty".

Another colleague has a dog she loves as a baby and takes a full week annual leave every august to celebrate her birthday. Does anyone moan? No because we know how important it is to her! That’s the difference here, its treating others with respect, not being inflexible and refusing to change weeks when you have no plans just because it’s the school holidays and you should be entitled to them too. That’s an ugly ugly attitude.

I’ve been told to my face that it’s selfish for me to live alone in my house when it would suit a family. I don’t know what they expected me to do - sell it to them?

Families had the same chance to buy it that I had. Possibly more as twice the income/deposit!

Oh yes. That is another thing about how unimportant our needs are (in private market more like).
We have 3 bed because we needed the space. Apparently source of all evil.🤷🏻 After landlords

Civilised cultures (see most of the rest of Europe) have the foresight to understand children in the context of society and the future. The dismissal of children 'tantrumming', playing in the garden or a refusal to accept that offering parents more flexibility might be good for society as a whole is just bitterness. Doesn't come across to me as happiness with your choice not to have children.

I know, totally daft. It’s nothing to do with being a more ‘emotionally enlightened’ person as a parent, it’s simple nature - if parents didn’t love their kids so fiercely they would do anything for them, humans wouldn’t have survived for this long. There is nobody else I would tolerate toddler DD’s behaviour from 😂 waking me up at 6am every day for years, throwing food at me when I’m a huff, telling me my cooking is ‘scusting’ and having to wipe her bum. (Ok I don’t tolerate the rude stuff that gets disciplined, but you know what I mean!)

I don’t put a bow on parenting, it has highs and lows, and yes of course I feel occasionally jealous of childfree friends with their calmer and tidier life! But to say you love your cat like your average parent loves their baby is utterly laughable.

On a daily level, yes of course they are. Otherwise I would be using my money to pay to feed and water random people's kids rather than my pets. Is that what you are suggesting I do so as to not be selfish, seriously?