Childfree people ranting about parents

[the7Vabo]

Came across a thread on another site full of people ranting about children entitled “parents not everything is about you.” I get it to a point, as a parent I think society has become somewhat a overly child-centred. I assume however that the odd stories you see about parents demanding people give up train seats for ten year olds are just that, the odd story of unreasonable behaviour that people in all groups can be guilty of.

The extent of the comments on that thread baffled me. Full of I’m so glad I don’t have children because X, Y. It’s one thing to want to be child free which to me is a perfectly valid life choice, but I’m baffled by the level of bitching about parents & children. If someone wants to be child free why can’t they simply be child free & accept that others didn’t make that choice instead of ranting about how parents are always on at them about how fulfilled they are while at the same time ranting about how terrible it would be to have kids.

Basic consideration is giving up your seat to someone who is standing who needs it more.

We all have a different definition of that though.
A struggling elderly person? Definitely giving them my seat.
A ten year old child? GTF.

Yeh that’s fair enough. That’s why I asked the pp how old the child was.
(she seemed to imply in her original post that it was outrageous to think she should give up her any child, and then she said she was more entitled to the seat because she was paying - that’s what I was objecting to).

Why would we need that? Disabled adults will be very welcome on my bus. They won't have to worry about a parent refusing to collapse their stroller down because they don't want to have to hold their kid.

Yes if I saw a tiny child who was obviously distressed standing on a crowded bus I'd be happy to help. I wouldn't give up a seat though if the parent already had one! That would just be cheek.

I have no idea what your point is - you just want to vent you contempt for children and parents perhaps?

for what it’s worth I voted that the OP was being unreasonable, I think that we live in a pro-natalist society that discriminates against women without children. However, I don’t think that means it’s ok to treat small children like crap. It’s a perfectly valid choice not to have children, however we all have to live in a society that includes them. That means you have to tolerate small children , and treat them with the same care and respect afforded to anyone else (ie recognising that the really small ones are less able to stand on public transport than you, and therefore have seat priority), even if you find them annoying (which they are).

Fully agree

But a healthy child does not need it more

That depends on how old the child is. The little one’s absolutely do.

Well yes, little ones do.
What do we consider little one here? Just for clarity to prevent future arguments because everyone imagines different ages.
I would say 5+ can stand?

I dont have contemp for parents and children at all. I have contempt for entitlement. I do not agree that having a child makes you more important to society. I do not agree that any adult should be treated less important than a child. Anything I do to accommodate your child is a act of kindness from me. It should not be an expectation from you.

I do not agree that having a child makes you more important to society
absolutely

I do not agree that any adult should be treated less important than a child
absolutely

Anything I do to accommodate your child is a act of kindness from me. It should not be an expectation from you

Hell no. You should (and are) expected to accommodate children in the same way you are expected to accommodate anyone else (elderly etc). Everyone should expect to be treated with basic respect and kindness (eg giving up a seat to a person who needs it more).

I’m would probably agree with this, but not sure as I don’t have any direct experience with 5/6/7/8 year olds.

Actually no. Unless there is a law that says I must, anything I do to accommodate others is my choice, based on my judgement. Not yours. So if I think that child doesn't need my seat more than me, they're not getting my seat.

Well they can physically travel with big backpacks from one town to another for schools and such on public transport where I am from so, bar disability, 6+ can absolutely stand. 5 is probably somewhere in the middle depending on route and how rough it is

Lol no there is no law. I never meant to imply someone would be arrested for not giving up their seat 🤣. I thought we were debating common decency here.

👍🏻

The last point is the reason I started this thread. I’ve no issue with anyone choosing not to have kids, or expecting not to be infringed on but within reason. The sort of comments I reacted to in the “parents not everything is about you” thread were akin to this.

Some people both childfree and not seem to want kids to almost never appear in their line of sight, or never actually behave like children. One person on this thread was annoyed by a baby crying in its own house for example. That’s an insulation problem it’s not an example of someone being infringed upon by someone’s choice to have kids.

I wouldn’t personally ask a person to give up a seat for a 6 year old but there might be some circumstances where I’d ask someone for something if my child was very small or sick. But some people have an issue doing something for a child that I assume they’d do for an elderly person in fact they appear angry about it.

For balance, I completely accept that childfree people may want a space to rant about things like the comments they receive etc, this thread has been an education on that front.

That should go both ways. When someone can't accommodate a child's needs, the parents shouldn't get arsey about it. They should think "Maybe this person does have a greater need than my child and I should respect that." But that's not what happens is it? Most of the time, as many people here have shared, the parents show annoyance and sometimes get abusive. Because they believe they are entitled to other people's compliance.

Ironically, most of the people who say no, will probably offer their seat if they see a child is struggling. You'll actually get more from people if you don't have an expectation to get.

Who said you don't know what tiredness is?

Is that what happened?

Have you read the thread? On this thread alone there was a bombardment of posts over and over telling people without children they don't know what tiredness is including am incredibly insensitive one to a poster looking after a relative with dementia

Friends, colleagues, people on this thread - all mothers.

And this is where the thread title the OP is referencing comes from.

It should be both ways. Not parents expecting people to accommodate their child without giving the same consideration the other way.

I would be more interested in the 'you should give up your seat to a child they need it more' if the parents of these children were as ready to ask men to move as they were to ask women.

if your child only needs a seat if there is a woman there to accommodate their needs, then they don't actually need a seat do they?

And as a disabled person who also has the temerity to be fat, I find the kind of parents who expect me to move for them also think that I am lying when I say I need a seat because I am disabled and tend to tut and role their eyes and even bitch in a voice that is deliberately at a volume I can hear about how I'm not disabled I just eat too much.