Childfree people ranting about parents

[the7Vabo]

Came across a thread on another site full of people ranting about children entitled “parents not everything is about you.” I get it to a point, as a parent I think society has become somewhat a overly child-centred. I assume however that the odd stories you see about parents demanding people give up train seats for ten year olds are just that, the odd story of unreasonable behaviour that people in all groups can be guilty of.

The extent of the comments on that thread baffled me. Full of I’m so glad I don’t have children because X, Y. It’s one thing to want to be child free which to me is a perfectly valid life choice, but I’m baffled by the level of bitching about parents & children. If someone wants to be child free why can’t they simply be child free & accept that others didn’t make that choice instead of ranting about how parents are always on at them about how fulfilled they are while at the same time ranting about how terrible it would be to have kids.

I feel the same as hambone about my pets. People love their pets but feel very different levels of intensity of that love. I think it is the same with any relationship including children.

Please read the message I was responding to. Quite clearly said 'It will be interesting to find out what people who think like this will say to their kids if they end up struggling with infertility. "You'll never know a lovely like it", will, I imagine not be so strong an opinion then.

And you said that it doesn't stop that point being true. You just wouldn't labour the point.

Pic for you, just incase.

I’m not trying to be ‘helpful’ I’m having an abstract discussion on an Internet forum. And yes that’s exactly what I think.

I think it's hard for both sides. People without kids are being judged and patronised. People with kids have issues as well as it seems that nowadays kids are a burden everywhere (airplanes, restaurantes, hotels, etc). I work in a pet friendly office where dogs bark, pee in the corners and bite my trousers while I work but they won't let us parents bring kids for half an hour until they finish their shift. There's never a balance.,
I respect all choices and have a lot of friends without partner and kids, and they respect my choice of having a family.

Sign me up, I'm so fed up of the predictable comments any thread on here about childless women desends into

It has predicably turned into 'childless women are selfish bitches who book holiday when they shouldn't, love their pets so much that people should be worried about their mental health and dont know what love is'

And yet there are still people on the thread saying this never happens 🙄

Oh I didn't make any comment about other people and their relationships with their animals. I don't really care about that. I don't expect anyone else to be the same as me, and I'm only judgemental when it comes to cruelty.

you posted this "one example" on a thread about how the childless community behaves towards parents. You used it as an example of how the childless community behaves. If you see it as an isolated, individual incident then why on earth would you post it here?

I'm done replying. You just don't seem to understand why using the example of a single person's behaviour as an example on a thread talking about patterns of behaviour is problematic.

I know. All you have to do is read a couple of pages of this thread to see what childfree women have to put up with.

Might go and book October half term off to sit on my own in my house with my cat and be petty.

@Moonicorn By not helpful I really meant makes zero logical sense. I was trying to be nice. You clearly have prejudices against childfree women you are attempting to justify.

I’m back tracking about fuck all the behaviour was petty and selfish and I stand by that.

Im struggling to see how you can’t understand what I’m saying, but seeing as you don’t seem to be able to accept that childfree women can ever behave wrongly it’s not surprising.

love their pets so much that people should be worried about their mental health.

@ConfusedNT If you’re referring to my responses, surely you agree that the person who attempted suicide after her dog died did have fragile mental health? Or do you think that’s a normal reaction to a pet dying?

Re. My second post, how do you feel about someone killing an animal that attacks their dog?

Im struggling to see how you can’t understand what I’m saying, but seeing as you don’t seem to be able to accept that childfree women can ever behave wrongly it’s not surprising.

Please back up the posts where I have said this.

Like I have backed up with quotes from your posts previously

Deny
Attack
Reverse victim and offender....

What I actually said was that if you are that person and don't actually need the holiday for festivals, extended family holidays or whatever reason that fits the PP criteria, you may find it in yourself to forgo that time for someone's pretty critical need for it. Just about consideration really

Why, as a childfree woman, do I have to have a need to take a holiday instead of just fancying the time off to potter in the garden/sightsee/do some decorating/bingewatch Police Interceptors? and where's the consideration towards me, or does that only go one way?

I don’t think having kids or not having kids is what causes the comments on either side. Parents who say child free women aren’t fulfilled or can’t understand real love are just twats and will be twats in all areas of life. Ditto child free people who complain that parents talk about their child a lot. Avoid both types of people

@Prinnny the issue is that you are implying that she is like that because she is childless. That it is the lack of a child that made her petty, rather than it being because maybe she is a petty person regardless.

I raised this with that poster about 8 pages ago and just got a diatribe back about their personal circumstances. I've given up trying to argue with them.

OutofEverything, I would say parents who don't love their children or love a pet more are very problematic.

@ConfusedNT I think we may be fighting a losing battle with this one...

Clearly we should just accept that this one example of petty behaviour by a childfree/childless woman demonstrates that anyone who isn't a parent exhibits ugly, petty behaviour. (Although I tend to think there may be more to this story than is being explained here...as in a pp the idea of a meeting where everyone 'competes' for the 'best' reasons for leave sounds absolutely dire.)

We live in a very child-centred society. I think people get annoyed at being expected to accommodate for children/people with children. This attitude doesn't come from nowhere. There are a lot of parents who want others to make allowances "because I've got kids". I think a lot of parents are unkind to child free people because they miss the advantages of not having kids. I think child free people can be unkind to parents because there are a lot of people who seem to expect things as I mentioned earlier. It's both ways really

@ConfusedNT

You can clearly see my posts I tagged you in them. All you’re focused on is my apparently generalisation against the childless, if you’ve nothing further to add we’ll leave it there as it’s getting boring.

I didnt ask to see your posts

You accused me of saying something I didn't and I asked you to back it up, something you clearly can't do which is why suddenly you want to stop

Fine by me

@Goldenbear That is an opinion. But it does not change the basic fact that some parents do not love their children or love a pet more than their children.

I know the thread you’re referring to and while some on there have reasonable and funny posts, others are completely vitriolic in their comments. Posts from people about how disgusting and disfigured mums bodies are, that breastfeeding mothers make them feel sick and they ‘should have evolved from that’ - (yes there really are some comments that idiotic!)

All for people being happily childfree and living their best lives but you don’t get parents calling childfree people’s ‘gross barren bodies’ or how disgusting their useless breasts are do you?! It’s so personal and some seem like they’re too angry to truly be happy in their decision. ISWIS.

I think it's fairly obvious why in a workplace with a manager who favours parents holiday requests over childless peoples holiday requests it might have got to this point yes

Luckily for that poster I won't use it to generalise on how all managers can be inflexible with childless peoples holiday requests because I've had a fair few managers who have be scrupulously fair

@ConfusedNT seeing as you’re struggling, said by me at 1318

Not all childless women always act well and neither do mothers, it’s not an us versus them situation, surely you can acknowledge there’s right and wrong on both sides of the debate?

You decided to ignore this and continue to tell me that my example was speaking against all childless women! Hence my opinion that you are unwilling to accept or discuss the part childfree women play.