Found out a shocking secret

[Whatheheck]

I'm meant to be getting married to dp next year. But I've just learnt a shocking secret about his family. Me and dp have been having problems anyways but after learning this secret im annoyed at dp for keeping it and I don't feel comfortable marrying into this family and calling them my family, aibu?

Madamum18
This Dispatches film shows why:

The Dispatches film primarily talks about cousins and double cousins marrying and multiple generations being inter-related not the occasional cousins marrying.

I feel like such a clickbait victim. 17 pages later I STILL don't know what Julia Roberts's dog looks like now, erm, sorry, what the grand secret is. Cycling seems reasonable.
OP, for what it's worth: don't marry him. Because guess what happened next! 😱😆

Presumably "not much of a Catch!" 😂

Think about how that would affect your future children also. Unfortunately when you marry into a family you can't really cut off all ties because you'll be setting yourself up for future problems when in-law's will want to see their grandchildren etc which they are entitled to. They might teach them some questionable values as they grow up especially since you say it's not seen as something shameful and they/your partner are ok with it. So think long term and about the future of your relationship before making a decision. But I would not recommend building a relationship on a broken trust / conflicting values foundation because it will only cause more problems down the line. I once went through something similar when an ex turned out to be bi, who had fooled around with his male friend and was not wise about continuing the closeness in that friendship and even building the bond even more by going on a long holiday together with him. That was the end of it for us. You always have to think about the future and how it would affect you and the potential children.

She did say it was something incestuous. Did you not see her message on p2 or 3?

Cousins marrying is seriously not outing. For one it's not that unheard of and if it icks you out for gods sake don't ever interest yourself in historical royal marriages.

If you feel that he and his family have been derespectful about you and your family then that is reason enough to not marry him.

If you are asking, I think you don't really want to marry and therefore you should not.

No it doesn't. It shows what happens when there is in built inter-family marrying over generations not when 2 cousins marry as a one-off. The fact is that the risk of problems for the children of two cousins marrying having problems is very very low indeed. Scare mongering on this isnty helpful!

According to the Clinical Genetics Handbook, children of non-related couples have a 2-3% chance of being born with a birth defect, and children of first cousins have a 4-6% chance

Its an increase but not massive ...which is why it is legally allowed!

Sorry, agree, wasn't meaning to scare monger - someone asked why, and that video showed why. But even with one first cousin engagement, I'd get genetic counselling to find out as far as possible how many bad recessive genes we had in common. It probably wouldn't stop us marrying if we were in love. But it would give us some idea of how thoroughly we needed to check out any pregnancy.

Yes I agree genetic counselling is a good idea. And thankyou for acknowledging re scaremongering and that you did not mean to do that 🙂