Grandfather smacked DS bottom

[ranblungs]

DS can have meltdowns/big tantrums, usually when he's very tired. More so when he's at his grandparents' house (ex's parents). They have communicated to me that they found his behaviour very difficult at one point, but it seems to have resolved now.

ExDP did live with them but moved our two weeks ago.

DS (aged 4) told me yesterday evening that grandad had smacked his bottom because he was being naughty and that it "really hurt" he got upset as he was telling me and cried. I get the impression this wasn't necessarily recent.

DS also can play up at bed time when he is there and he told me that grandad pushes him back onto the bed for being naughty at bed time.

I'm not sure what to do next?

They are huge sources of childcare, ExDP is supposed to have him two nights per week but often works away so they will have him. They also help out during the week as/when needed.

The relationship between us was once very strained when DS was tiny.

I am furious that he has hit my child. Am I overreacting as it was just a smack on the bottom?

DS can be very challenging there.

Let the court record show that Katypp really disapproves of me, thinks I am awful, yadda yadda yadda.

Everyone got that? It's very important. Everyone aware that she dislikes me intensely?

Yes? Good. Duly noted.

Back to the discussion. Hitting children puts them in their place. What place is that and why does it require hitting to put them there?

What an infintile response. How silly.
Now you can jump on me and say I've come back. How clever you are

Yes. That's the problem with announcing a flounce. You have to do it or else you look silly.

But as funny as I find it (and I do), this isn't really about you and me. It's about the much more important matter of people assaulting children and excusing it.

Do you think you could send the next one to me in PM? Then we can clear the way here for the discussion, and that's what you were apparently trying to save by wading into it 24 hours later.

Carry on, everyone.

Interesting that you think I'm the most aggressive when it's someone else who's had half her posts deleted.

That'll be me you're referring to there then Rene, when in fact I have had TWO posts deleted out of the thirty odd I have written, and the most aggressive thing I've written is to say your ego is a bit big. Which was only in response to you saying mine was, and I dare say most of yours would have been deleted for personal attacks had I bothered reporting them. So do bore off.

Carry on, everyone.

There's no one left, @ReneBumsWombats . No one can have a reasonable discussion with you, they've all lost the will to live and died of boredom and frustration

You said way worse than that, but to repeat your abuse would negate the effects of it being deleted.

If you think your deletions are unfair, take it up with MNHQ.

I'm here, still waiting for anyone to let me know at what age they plan to stop smacking their child, and why that will be?

Also, about whether we smack other people that we love who have less verbal reasoning power, such as our mothers and fathers if they develop dementia, maybe siblings who might have learning disabilities, or perhaps an uncle who's had a stroke.

But I have a feeling that nobody who hits their children has really thought about it. So I won't hold my breath.

You said way worse than that, but to repeat your abuse would negate the effects of it being deleted.

I found the ego one quite amusing and was surprised it was deleted. Still, many years ago I got a deletion for calling someone condescending so I can understand that some egos are fragile on here.

Well, there's no accounting for taste. I grant you that one was the least abusive of them, but it was still a personal attack and we all know the rules, so I wasn't surprised when I saw it had gone.

Complain to MNHQ if you think an injustice has taken place.

“Abuse” and “personal attack”.

Give over. You just don’t like people with different views and resort to hectoring. I’m sure Paxman will be proud of you.

Welcome to your own little echo chamber.

Yes. They were abusive and they were personal attacks.

I don't make the rules and I don't choose which posts get deleted. Complain to MNHQ if you don't like it. Try hitting them if you can't reason.

Well, there's no accounting for taste. I grant you that one was the least abusive of them, but it was still a personal attack and we all know the rules, so I wasn't surprised when I saw it had gone.
You see Rene you are in grave danger of losing your grip on any credibility at all here. Neither of my deleted posts could be described as in any way abusive as you well know. Anyone can check all of my posts to see the tone of my posting history. You really are going too far.

It was more than two. Check again.

Like I said, if you think they were unfairly deleted then talk to MNHQ. It's not my decision. How much power do you people think I have? People can respond as much as they like to me and they can report me if they think I'm being abusive. I'm not part of any cabal.

Zillions of posts remain that excuse child assault and outline a personal dislike of me. A few downright abusive ones have gone and that's all. They were in clear breach of the rules and it shouldn't surprise anyone that they went kaput.

If you think the deletions were wrong then talk. To. M.N.H.Q. I. Did. Not. Delete. Them.

By the way, @ReneBumsWombats what is it with you and abuse? You think everything is abuse? One of my deleted posts simply accused you of having a big ego and the other two were no worse....you think that's abuse?

If you think the deletions were wrong then talk. To. M.N.H.Q. I. Did. Not. Delete. Them.

I. Never. Said. You. Did.

I would disagree.

It doesn't matter what I think, since I'm not the one who deleted them.

I'm so intrigued that you are angrier about getting a few posts deleted on a chat forum than you are about children being assaulted.

Surprised this is still getting posted on.

I'm not.

I think small children understand a small tap on the bum (not a beating that leaves visible evidence) QUICKER AND fASTER than endless mummy pleadings. Don't do that again, swift soft cuff. Stop that NOW.

@ReneBumsWombats what is frustrating is your very manipulative technique of reporting my replies, then after they have been deleted, claiming they were abusive. I'm not even one of the 'hitters' you seem to despise so much so why you are going to these disingenuous lengths to make me look unpleasant is quite amusing.

I'm surprised nobody can explain the difference between why it's ok to hit small family members but absolutely not ok to hit big ones.

I agree.