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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed at poor response re street party

494 replies

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 13:58

Smallish, quiet street, approx 45 houses, generally pretty friendly. Neighbour & I thought it might be nice to throw a party for the coronation. Council encouraging it by offering road closures & free insurance.

Sent out a note with a return slip asking people to say if they would interested, if they would be willing to help and inviting comments & suggestions. Gave them 2 weeks to respond. Deadline has passed and we have 17 responses, all positive, but that's less than half the street! AIBU to think it's really disappointing and actually rather rude :-(

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

😐

OP posts:
uokayhun · 21/02/2023 14:33

Hobbi · 21/02/2023 14:15

If any of my neighbours wanted to close my street in order to impose jingoistic celebrations of privilege, wealth, entitlement and corruption, I'd treat the invite with the contempt it deserves.

And then start looking for somewhere else to live.

CrinkleCutChips · 21/02/2023 14:33

17 is a fab amount. In our house that would be up to 5 people, depending on who came on the day. No doubt some extras will come on the day. It sounds like a lovely idea.

Porkandbeans1 · 21/02/2023 14:34

You've had a good response. I work crazy hours, I wouldn't be able to attend but I'm also terrible at replying. Some weeks I feel like I'm just about holding everything together, responding would be far down my to-do list.

ChaToilLeam · 21/02/2023 14:34

A lot of people, believe it or not, are not interested at all in the coronation.

Of those who are, you can fully expect some a) will have their own plans or b) don’t enjoy street parties.

17 responses is a lot so I don’t see why you are complaining.

ferneytorro · 21/02/2023 14:34

Perhaps they don't want to go but don't object to the street being shut so haven't replied as only think it's pertinent if they object to that. As others have said put the application in, that's the key thing isn't it.

MasterBeth · 21/02/2023 14:34

BTW, surely you don't have to have any allegience to King and country to enjoy a party.

Murdoch1949 · 21/02/2023 14:35

That's a good response. Years ago, 1977 (!), I arranged a big Jubilee party for our small estate. We had children's races, decorated bikes, games, afternoon tea, then in the evening a BBQ for everyone. We fundraiser for it, so all the children got a commemorative mug etc. Most residents joined in, the usual suspects didn't!

MishaBukvic · 21/02/2023 14:35

Keep the party on,

A few of the non-responders might be wanting to keep on the pheriphial - not wanting to be obligated in the organisation of it but will want to join in on the day. The others (like me) are probably filled with dread for this kind of thing so will keep out of the way, but are happy for the rest of you to continue.

Don't let the 17 keen households lose out, that's a really good number.

doitwithlove · 21/02/2023 14:36

In advance of the party, Post a note through the non attendees doors to advise the road will be closed on whatever day you are holding the party.

threeplusmum · 21/02/2023 14:36

My neighbours did this for the jubilee and surprise surprise we wasn't invited as I don't socialise with them. Made sure me and the kids and hubby went out but we still couldn't escape as it was right on our street - wouldn't be involved even if we were invited as some of our neighbours are weird as hell! So tbh it's my idea of hell. People have busy lives not everyone is a street party and socialise with neighbours kind of person, I know I am not.

ShandaLear · 21/02/2023 14:37

17 will mean about 35 people - there will be lots of families going to family/friends etc. for the day and others like myself who can’t think of anything worse than celebrating on account of that pudding face poncing round in his golden hat and will therefore be escaping for the day.

HappydaysArehere · 21/02/2023 14:37

Same in our street but on Whats App. Can understand the enthusiasm if you have children or never experienced a Coronation before. I remember the 1953 one and it was great with children being given Coronation mugs to take home and parties everywhere. It was a great event. It took a year to plan and hosted so many heads of state, the most memorable being the Queen of Tonga. This coronation is much more low key and should be made as much of as people wish. I will prefer to watch the tv and probably sup some champagne. However, I hope our street will have a good time.

Caspianberg · 21/02/2023 14:38

Most people if they can’t come won’t care if the street is closed either as they might not even be there

evemillbank · 21/02/2023 14:38

That's a really high response rate though!

SquashPenguin · 21/02/2023 14:39

To be honest I couldn’t think of anything worse, if I had that invitation I’d probably ignore it too.

TerrysNeapolitan · 21/02/2023 14:39

Add a few on that prob forgot to reply but are deffo interested - you are looking at a very good response rate. I bet if you get chatting to a few it will be, 'oh was interested but lost the reply sheet etc.'

CheeseDreamsTonight · 21/02/2023 14:40

It's not rude at all. You asked for interest responses. I hate neighbourhood parties but wouldn't care if one happened. It's just not for everyone

currantbee · 21/02/2023 14:42

Sometimes I wish we lived on a quieter road, then I see threads like this and I'm grateful to be on a B road that is never going to be closed for a street party no matter how many residents might want it.

Vegansausagevole · 21/02/2023 14:42

But not everyone will be off on the day it’s not the law that everyone gets the day off, so many of your neighbours may be working. I work for a local council we only got it confirmed last week that we were getting the day off, and since we are an essential service there will need to be cover staff working, I’ve no idea whether I’ll be off on the day or not, until they work out a rota. My DH works for an international company they have not as yet been told if they are being given the day off or not. So we couldn’t say whether we would be free to attend just now, actually both of our closest neighbours are absolute arseholes ( for different reasons) so there is no way I would give up a days leave to mix with them. I’m community minded and do volunteer work locally I just have horrible neighbours and also live on a very busy road ( so that would probably rule us out anyway.

SinnerBoy · 21/02/2023 14:42

latetothefisting · Today 14:11

As long as you've got a few houses close together that are interested you can surely cordon that small area off and continue without needing a full road closure?

That's what I was going to say, along with a third of the street replying being a good number. Have the party, as the council will help, so it will have official status and you'll almost certainly get a few more, who didn't respond.

In my case, "Up the Republic!"

But I wouldn't go out and spoil it.

blackpearwhitelilies · 21/02/2023 14:43

Courtorder · 21/02/2023 14:07

You’re joking, right? You don’t get to put an unsolicited note through someone’s door and then label them as rude for not appropriately responding to you or appreciating your “effort”. It’s rude to put obligations onto people like you have.

Show quote history

I agree with this.
I couldn't care less about the coronation. If other people want to celebrate it, fine. I'd prefer the street not to be closed off, but if the majority of the street want to have a party, I'm not going to stand in their way for the sake of a few hours. I'm afraid I can't be arsed to return slips of paper to say this - my lack of response is an indication that I'm not interested but also that I'm not going to kick up a fuss.

RoseGoldEagle · 21/02/2023 14:45

A 38% response rate is actually very good, especially if they were all positive! Of course the others aren’t rude just because they’ve not responded to something that you want to do but they’re not interested in! I imagine they assumed no response would be taken as ‘not interested’. You could send something else saying ‘17 houses are interested in taking part and you’re keen to go ahead, but it would involve road closures, could anyone who isn’t interested in attending let you know if they have any objection to that? Otherwise you’ll proceed with the party.’

Lorski · 21/02/2023 14:45

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:05

Thing is, the road would be closed, impacting those not taking part, so we can't really go ahead if the majority don't want it. There was the option to say they're not interested so think it's rude to not even acknowledge people making an effort, even if it's thanks but no thanks!

Tbh, I’d be pissed off at having yet more life admin landing unwanted on my doorstep.

If you want a party, great for you! But it’s not rude that others don’t share your enthusiasm.

mindutopia · 21/02/2023 14:45

That's nearly half. I assume most people can't commit to something that's nearly 3 months away at this point. Hell, I didn't even know the coronation was scheduled yet or that we had an extra bank holiday until a colleague point it out last week as I was trying to schedule us for a meeting that day! I imagine I'm not the only one.

SinnerBoy · 21/02/2023 14:45

...my lack of response is an indication that I'm not interested but also that I'm not going to kick up a fuss.

I agree, if anybody objected, then surely they'd have replied and made it clear. Just do it and have the party.

There are some good ideas here, such as a possible green space, or a few adjacent neighbours, for the main locus of the party.