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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed at poor response re street party

494 replies

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 13:58

Smallish, quiet street, approx 45 houses, generally pretty friendly. Neighbour & I thought it might be nice to throw a party for the coronation. Council encouraging it by offering road closures & free insurance.

Sent out a note with a return slip asking people to say if they would interested, if they would be willing to help and inviting comments & suggestions. Gave them 2 weeks to respond. Deadline has passed and we have 17 responses, all positive, but that's less than half the street! AIBU to think it's really disappointing and actually rather rude :-(

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

😐

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 21/02/2023 14:06

I voted wrong - I meant YABU
It's my idea of hell, being trapped talking to people who aren't my friends, who I just happen to live near, and not being able to make excuses and go home because you're already at home.
5 years ago maybe I would have enjoyed it but I'm much more introverted now and I'd definitely say no!

Ffsmakeitstop · 21/02/2023 14:06

Some of us think it's tone deaf in the current climate to celebrate an overprivileged and over paid person who contributes sod all to the economy.

BernadetteIsMySister · 21/02/2023 14:06

Dh has to work so he'd just be cheesed off you're planning to close the road 😅

TokyoSushi · 21/02/2023 14:07

Dallimore · 21/02/2023 14:01

17 is loads! I can't think of anything worse and would hate to do this but would have no problem with neighbours doing it. If they don't want to it's up to them, 17 other households is more than enough

Exactly this!

Courtorder · 21/02/2023 14:07

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:05

Thing is, the road would be closed, impacting those not taking part, so we can't really go ahead if the majority don't want it. There was the option to say they're not interested so think it's rude to not even acknowledge people making an effort, even if it's thanks but no thanks!

You’re joking, right? You don’t get to put an unsolicited note through someone’s door and then label them as rude for not appropriately responding to you or appreciating your “effort”. It’s rude to put obligations onto people like you have.

lap90 · 21/02/2023 14:08

There's nothing rude about it. It's not by force people attend Coronation street parties. In my street it's usually the same old clique who attend those kind of parties.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 21/02/2023 14:08

I'm in a cul-de-sac of 10 detached houses.
I'd be shocked rather than surprised if more than 2 got involved (and one would be me) so I'm not bothering.

Your response rate is pretty positive - maybe knock on doors for the others?

Good luck.

RoseBucket · 21/02/2023 14:08

What?! 17 is a great response, that is good support.

PillBoxes · 21/02/2023 14:09

In reality, life today is not really conducive to "forced" fun amongst people who may not know each other well at all. OK, you may argue that this would be an opportunity to meet the neighbours, but not everyone wants to do that, many are private people and that's fine. Add in the lukewarm attitude of some towards the RF and it can be problematic.

While I admire your community spirit, I would not participate in anything like this, but I am very private by nature and while I am friendly with my neighbours, I would cringe at socialising with them. They are not my friends, and I am not theirs either.

MiddleParking · 21/02/2023 14:09

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:05

Thing is, the road would be closed, impacting those not taking part, so we can't really go ahead if the majority don't want it. There was the option to say they're not interested so think it's rude to not even acknowledge people making an effort, even if it's thanks but no thanks!

It’s not like you’re suggesting something anodyne and politically neutral. Thanking you for your “effort” in wanting to close the road to celebrate that institution would be very far from my mind.

BreviloquentBastard · 21/02/2023 14:10

Did you specify on the slip that the road would be closed and if that would cause a problem to get in touch?

If so and no one has said anything I'd just go for it, 17 households is loads!

billyt · 21/02/2023 14:10

Each to their own but the thought of a street party would make me go away for the day, as well. And I get on well with my neighbours.

Also, I don't think we need the bloody royal family and I'm certainly not wanting to celebrate another one getting yet another pointless role.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 21/02/2023 14:11

I can't think of anything worse, and fortunately neither can our neighbours. We all agreed on that for the last royal occasion, whatever it was. But I would have replied to your note saying something like thank you for the invite, not our thing, hope it goes well for you.

WinterMusings · 21/02/2023 14:11

YABU

it was daft to ask people to let you know if they were interested & ask for help in the same flyer.

id have asked for people to let me know if they'd be interested via WhatsApp.

some people might be waiting to see what friends/family/schools have organised before committing.

17/45 houses is a pretty good rate of reply & a good number (already) for a street party, it's a bit churlish not to go ahead. How many were you expecting??

latetothefisting · 21/02/2023 14:11

As long as you've got a few houses close together that are interested you can surely cordon that small area off and continue without needing a full road closure?

I think you're being incredibly unrealistic if you hoped 45 houses would all agree!

Radi06music · 21/02/2023 14:11

Agree 17 is loads. I wouldn't have expected that many.

sageandrosemary · 21/02/2023 14:12

Sounds like a very good response to me! I also thought you were going to say one or two...

viques · 21/02/2023 14:12

Your mistake was asking if people would be willing to help.

If you build it organise it, they will come.”

But don’t expect them to help tidy up afterwards.

MasterBeth · 21/02/2023 14:12

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:05

Thing is, the road would be closed, impacting those not taking part, so we can't really go ahead if the majority don't want it. There was the option to say they're not interested so think it's rude to not even acknowledge people making an effort, even if it's thanks but no thanks!

I think you're being incredibly touchy.

About 25% of the population voted for Brexit, and we're out. About 40% of households in your street want a party. Go ahead!

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 21/02/2023 14:12

You’re being a bit unrealistic and precious to judge people as rude for not sending you a ‘no thanks’ about a street event they don’t care about. Can’t you just assume they’re busy and not interested?

I sometimes wonder how people who take everything so personally get anything done.

(And no I’m not on your street; and I would have replied! But I wouldn’t assume everyone would get round to it)

PleaseJustText · 21/02/2023 14:14

You might want to follow up with a note through the doors of those who didn't respond. Tell them you've had a lot of interest in a party and will be contacting the council to request a road closure. If it will cause any problems to contact you on x number.

Hobbi · 21/02/2023 14:15

If any of my neighbours wanted to close my street in order to impose jingoistic celebrations of privilege, wealth, entitlement and corruption, I'd treat the invite with the contempt it deserves.

bellac11 · 21/02/2023 14:15

People arent obliged to be involved or to respond. Nothing rude about that

I cant think of anything worse than a street party, it makes me shudder just the thought of it

luckily as soon as I heard the date I booked a trip away

OOlivePenderghast · 21/02/2023 14:15

I think 17 responses is great considering it’s a bank holiday so people might be going away. I’d have thought that people not replying either have other plans, don’t care about it or haven’t gotten around to sending the slip back.

If people were really against it they would have replied saying that so I would assume non-replies were neutral not against.

wibblewobbleball · 21/02/2023 14:16

That's a really decent response - party is on 🥳🥳🥳